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'Wonderfalls' nostalgia recap: Girl needs a boy

Season 1 | Episode 8 | “Lovesick Ass” | Unaired

This episode of Wonderfalls begins with Jaye and Mahandra admiring the view—of a shirtless Eric installing a satellite dish on the roof of Jaye’s trailer. As Jaye openly ogles, Mahandra speaks for the viewers and urges her to stop with the “mating ritual” and just go for it with Eric already. Jaye claims that in addition to her own issues, which make her unfit to be in a relationship, Eric is clearly too smitten and eager. She fears this could lead to romance, which is essentially a dirty word to Jaye.

The next morning, at Wonderfalls, Jaye is barely in the door when one of the Barrel bears tells her “girl needs a boy.” She rejects this idea until a stuffed donkey caves and tells her “girl needs a donut” instead. Finding this much more acceptable, Jaye heads out to get one. She runs into Eric, whom it turns out had been planning to surprise her at work with donuts—except a Russian woman is now eating them all. Eric found Katya (Magdalena Alexander) sitting at the Maid of the Mist fountain, where she waited all night for her fiancé, Peter, who never showed up. Jaye is immediately jealous of Eric’s interest in another woman, although he insists Katya just looked like she needed help.

At the Barrel, Katya shows Jaye and Eric a series of emails between her and Peter, whose last name she doesn’t even know. Jaye immediately flags this as a potential “catfish” situation and doesn’t understand why Eric wants to get involved in something that is clearly so messy. She suspects this is about his unresolved feelings toward his wife, Heidi, and balks when Eric asks her if she’s ever been in love. Jaye manages an unconvincing “I think so,” and Eric accuses her of being closed off. They bring Katya to the chapel where she is scheduled to marry Peter later that day only to learn Peter has canceled the ceremony. Eric takes one look at the wedding paraphernalia, breaks into a cold sweat, and faints, which doesn’t look great for his claims of being over Heidi. Jaye uses the unintentional diversion to steal Peter’s contact info from the appointment book.


Jaye, Eric, and Katya go to Peter’s house and are shocked to discover Peter is a 12-year-old boy (Spencer Breslin). It turns out he missed his wedding because he was grounded. They return to Jaye’s trailer and Katya, who is appropriately horrified, weeps inconsolably. Jaye admits she’s never been in love, and Eric, who understands Katya’s state of mind, points out that you have to be willing to risk the heartache. Peter shows up at the trailer and Katya throws Jaye’s possessions at him and yells in Russian.

Eric and Jaye bring Peter to the Barrel to attempt to reason with him (because where better to bring a child than a bar?). Peter insists he loves Katya and is ready to be her husband. Eric explains that since Katya clearly doesn’t want him, Peter would be dumb to waste his time. This conversation, along with most others in the episode, is very thinly veiled commentary on Jaye and Eric’s relationship, or lack thereof. Jaye tries a more threatening tactic: throwing Peter against a wall and demanding he stay away from Katya. The fiery display does make Peter forget about Katya—and fall for Jaye.

Jaye returns home to discover Katya has cooked dinner for two—two being Katya and Eric. She miserably plays third wheel at the awkward dinner party. Peter lurks outside and witnesses what he misconstrues to be a romantic moment between Jaye and Eric (he is actually picking a fish bone out of her hair). Peter declares war on Eric, gives himself a black eye, and shows up the next day to tell Jaye Eric beat him.

DVD screengrab

Jaye shows up to the opera Peter invited her to, not for the “Tchaikovsky and heavy petting” he had in mind, but to set him straight. Peter wants Jaye to come to his cabin so he can protect her from Eric. Jaye jumps to Eric’s defense, which seems to make her realize something. She brings Peter to his father and tells him about Katya. It turns out Peter’s mother died a year ago, and his desire to keep Katya safe is a result of what he feels his father failed to do for his mother.

Peter steals Jaye’s car, drives to the Barrel, and lures Eric to his cabin with a lie about Jaye being there. Eric avoids being hit over the head with a baseball bat and reveals he knew Peter was lying the entire time. Eric assures Peter there is no bigger obstacle to Jaye’s heart than Jaye herself, and they bond over how mysterious Jaye is. Meanwhile, Peter’s father goes to visit Katya to apologize and pay her way back to Russia, but they end up in bed together after Katya realizes Peter stole his emails to her from letters his father wrote his mother. The romantic words she fell in love with were actually his.

Jaye steals Eric’s car and shows up at the cabin to rescue him. Touched, he tells her that although she clearly isn’t ready for a relationship and he is damaged himself, he thinks the spark they have is worth exploring. Eric asks Jaye on a date and she accepts by kissing him, claiming it will eliminate the first-date kiss tension. They happily kiss some more, and Peter congratulates Eric on his victory—while he sets Eric’s car on fire.

Odds and ends

  • Spencer Breslin, brother of Abigail, has also appeared in The Happening and Meet the Parents, among other things.
  • Whether the muses were referring to Katya or Jaye with “girl needs a boy” is intentionally ambiguous.
  • “If I were in a position to be interested in somebody, I think it could be safe to say it’d be someone very much not unlike you” is perhaps the closest we’ll ever get to an honest admission of feelings from Jaye.
TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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