Season 2 | Episode 4 | “A Stray Dog Walks Into a Bar” | Aired April 14, 2015
Each week the writers of Undateable raise the bar for what it means to be a smart, witty sitcom on television. Their dialog, combined with the impeccable comedic timing of a “go big or go home” cast is the reason why people are tuning in on Tuesday nights. Throw an adorable dog into the mix, and you’re sitting on comedy gold.
The dog is a stray Candace found by the dumpster. Everyone gushes over the lovable canine, except Justin. He’s adamant that the dog can’t stay at the bar. When Candace tells him she named the dog Mo, after the Motor City, Justin softens. Like Detroit, this dog is a survivor. HE MUST BE SAVED.
Candace checks animal shelters to see if anyone has reported a missing dog. In the meantime, she learns that she couldn’t adopt the dog until she had an interview with the shelter. I’m not sure why she couldn’t just keep the dog since she found it by the dumpster, but clearly the writers needed a way to perpetuate the storyline that Candace cannot tell a lie. Apparently you need a yard to adopt a dog in Detroit, and Candace doesn’t have one.
Enter Brett. He’s about to teach Pinocchio how to skirt the truth. Because the greatest liars in the world live in London. Oh wait, that’s a lie! Kudos to David Fynn’s hilarious lie tutorial, including the bit where he switched to an American accent. I love how the writers are giving him more to do than stand behind the bar, wiping down the counter.
Danny and Justin arrive at the bar discussing their annoying neighbor Kevin. Danny is irritated that nice guy Justin offered Kevin the use of their shower and that Justin gave Kevin his coat so he wouldn’t have to walk home in the cold in nothing but his underwear. Justin explains that he offered him the coat to warm his heart—not his body. He chooses to see the good in everybody and there’s nothing Danny can do to change that.
To prove him wrong, Danny shows Justin their separate rent checks. Justin’s is higher because Danny has been taking advantage of him from day one. The good news is that he’s been sneaking money in his pockets for several months. The bad news is that Justin is about to lay the smack down on Danny. Or the equivalent of whatever that looks like in Justin’s world. Instead of explaining, I’ll let Brent Morin and Chris D’Elia’s chemistry speak for itself.
— Brent Morin (@BrentMorin) April 14, 2015
It seems that people take advantage of Justin, because there are no ramifications if they do.
Danny: If I took this knife and stabbed you, what would you do?
Justin: Well, I saw on Dateline that most stabbings are a crime of passion, so to be honest, I’d be quite flattered that you cared that much.
Danny slams the knife down on the bar, deeming Justin hopeless. He really didn’t mean to chop off the tip of his finger! After getting a few stitches, Justin returns to the bar just in time for the cops to arrive (hours later) to check out Candace’s emergency stabbing call. Justin takes great pride in telling the officers it was Danny who passionately wielded a knife in his direction earlier in the day. Book ’em.
After spending 90 minutes in the slammer, Danny saunters into the bar and stares Justin down. He folds like a chair within minutes, apologizing for this uncharacteristic mean streak. Danny encourages him to take that darkness and point it in Kevin’s direction. He needs to get his coat back! Danny rushes out the door to wreak havoc.
Meanwhile, Candace comes in to tell Brett she’s ready to throw all of her convictions out the window. She’s going to lie to get her dog! Brett and Danny are so happy with their good deeds, they recreate the celebratory end of a movie with a freeze frame. I laughed when Danny chastises Leslie for talking over the credits.
But Leslie is right. They should be thankful for Candace’s sweet spirit and Brent’s kindness. In the end, Brett tells Candace that he spent his entire life lying about being gay—that’s why it comes so easy to him. He’d rather their dirtbag friends adopt the dog on Candace’s behalf than make her nose grow.
Later that night, Justin walks into the bar wearing his coat. Danny admits that he doesn’t want Justin to change, but Justin says he’s tasted the bad life and he likes it. Then Danny notices the tag on his coat. Justin is a good guy after all. J-Bone and D-Town, together again. FREEZE FRAME!
Undateable Pickup Lines
Justin: Maybe I just wanted to wear a vest.
Leslie: Is there a Marty McFly lookalike contest somewhere?
Note: Check out the cover photo of this post!
Justin: You’ve read the book, now meet the man. I am Chicken Soup For the Soul.
Drink me in. Let my broth warm your insides.
Danny: Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of man broth.
Brett: Me neither. LIE.
Danny: You’d get your ass kicked on Sesame Street.
Undateable airs on Tuesdays at 9/8C on NBC.