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Help me, Obi-Wan: I'm addicted to Star Wars Card Trader

They say the first step in overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem, so I need to come clean. My name is Geek Girl Diva, and I’m a Star Wars Card Trader addict.*

It started simply enough. Topps announced a new online Star Wars card-collecting application. I went to check it out because I like Star Wars and I like collecting. The download was easy, the app was pretty and easy to manage, and they even gave me credits and a pack just for checking it out.

What is it they say? Give them a taste and they’ll come back for more?

On that first day, I got two of the new cards that were created by J.J. Abrams for The Force Awakens to announce the new cast names. Remember those? Those cool cards with Finn in his trooper armor and Rey on her speeder and that awesome shot of the Millennium Falcon? Yep, those. I had wanted them from the moment I saw them, and now I had them!

I didn’t check the app again for a couple of days because life is life, but then, when I did, they gave me 25,000 credits just for showing up! Well, heck, I had credits to spend, right? Far be it for me not to spend them. Besides, now there were all kinds of cool cards. Cards that I had always wanted growing up, but had missed out on the first time because I wasn’t “in the know” about card trading at the right time. By the time I knew what it was, the cards were out of my price range.

So there I am, happily collecting cards with my free credits. Han, and Luke, and OMG, Aurra Sing (I love Aurra Sing), and everything is going great. This is so cool and it’s all on my phone. Sure, it’s not like I’m ever going to be able to have a card collection I can consider an investment opportunity, but I’m getting them for free, so it’s all good.

Star Wars Card Trader Vintage Cards

Then a strange thing started happening. I started buying more packs and needing certain cards to complete sets. Being a die-hard completionist (my World of Warcraft achievements are a testament to this), I needed to get those sets. I mean, they were incomplete, and I can’t have that.

And I started spending my daily allotment of credits faster and faster. Rush of the hit and then … the low of the waiting for more. Oh, the waiting. It killed me. Needed cards …. neeeeeeeeeded.

I despaired—until I realized that completing my sets gave me awards and, with awards, more credits.

Queue the call-out for friends so I could see who else was as addicted playing as well. Eureka! I found some, and the trading began in earnest. Sets were completed, I helped friends, awards were won, and credits were won.

Star Wars Card Trader Splash

More cards were bought. Credits were needed. Early morning rushes to open the app to GET MY CREDITS started becoming more frequent. It began to call to me; Vader’s hand reached out for me.

I had it bad, but I was having so much fun—and that’s what’s been so crazy. It’s been a lot of fun. A lot of the people I know online play, and there’s this new shorthand that’s shown up. Someone gets a rare insert that day and they share the news. The congrats and slightly jealous replies fly in. It’s competitive but always collegial, and in the end, it’s a shared experience to pass the time and be a Star Wars nerd. You’re happy when you get a card you’ve wanted, and when you learn how to trade well enough to finally get a card you’ve wanted forever.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do need to mention that there’s also an in-app purchase opportunity for credits and that, every once in a while, I take advantage of that. But I’ve done most of my collecting and trading for free because I’m also on a budget. That said, if I had the money, I wouldn’t mind spending it. We all enjoy blowing money on entertainment, right?

In the end, I’m learning to deal with my addiction the best way I can. Really, I am.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check the Cantina. There’s going to be a new pack up any minute …

*Disclaimer: Please note that this post is satirical in nature, and in no way is meant to diminish the real issues connected with addiction of any kind.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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