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Here's what just happened at the MTV Movie Awards

Welcome to the 2015 MTV Movie Awards … or should I say The Fault in Our Stars/John Green night? Here’s the blow-by-blow recap, as it happened!

I am as super-psyched that Amy Schumer is hosting! I’ve been a fan of hers since she appeared on Last Comic Standing in the early 2000s, before she was well known. And the only way that statement could have made me sound any more like an obnoxious hipster would be if Amy Schumer were an obscure band.

Starting the night off in the most awesome way imaginable, Vin Diesel presents Shailene Woodley, who is also the Trailblazer Award recipient, with the Best Female Performance Award. Yes! Yes! Yes! Emma and JLaw are amazing ladies too, but how can you compete with Shawoo (thank me later for the awesome nickname, Shailene) and her Fault in Our Stars tear-inducing performance. Amiright? And she thanks John Green, who is quite possibly the greatest human alive right now. I mean, from his books to his movies to his YouTube, I am happy to live in a world of Green. Okay? Okay. I have been waiting for A Fault in Our Stars to win for the Best Movie of the Year all year. Okay? Okay. Okay, I’ll stop saying that.

The Magic Mike XXL cast confirms that women are taking over the world. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. We’ll take it from here. You’ve got the dancing covered, though, right?

And then Magic Mike himself, Channing Tatum, wins Best Comedic Performance. Well deserved for his very nice Borat impression.

So Fall Out Boy and my fellow Jerseyite Fettiwap perform together. Yeah, seriously. How is it possible that Fall Out Boy is still as cool as they were when I was in middle school?

There’s a big A on the stage, which only means one thing: The Avengers are here! All of them! And then the cast of The Fantastic Four show up. This is the coolest thing I’ve seen since Comic Con. Women may be taking over the world, but nerds are ruling it. High five!

Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley win Best Kiss, which is great and all, but I really wanted to see the awkwardness if Emma and Andrew won. Don’t pretend like I’m evil—you were all thinking it!

Charlie XCX plays a giant blow-up zebra-striped guitar, because why not? And then girls dressed as pink kitty cats dance. Uh, hello? Maybe you guys should be at Coachella right now?

Then comedic genius Kevin Hart wins the Comedic Genius Award, with his über-adorable kids joining him on stage.

And just when I thought he couldn’t get any cooler, Dwayne Johnson comes to the stage in a blaze of fire. Literally, there is fire on the stage around him. I wonder if fire just follows him everywhere?

He presents movie of the year to The Fault in our Stars, proving that there is justice in our world! Yes! Yes! Yes!

And on that note, the 2015 MTV Movie Awards are a wrap. Now to update my Netflix queue …

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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