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'The Last Man on Earth' fan react: Milking for more jokes

Season 1 | Episodes 7 & 8 | “She Drives Me Crazy” & “Mooovin’ In” | Aired Mar 29, 2015

“Just seeing the three of you happy is my milk.”

And so Phil went down the never-ending rabbit hole of lies, fabricating story after story on The Last Man on Earth, only to scrape by with a good deed.

Perhaps I’ve just come to expect more from the creators of The Lego Movie and the rebooted Jump Street movies, but the similar storyline and formula that this show follows every week has become so painfully predictable. It’s quickly losing some of that glossy, new-car shine we first experienced in the pilot. But fear not: There were shining moments accompanied with little nuggets of hope for what’s to come.

Another dream sequence kicks off this episode, as Phil AGAIN pouts over not having sex with Melissa. It’s well done, and even had me convinced for a moment, but I was glad when Phil stopped waking up. The main takeaway from this scene is that the music from real-life, not-a-dream Melissa’s house is keeping Phil up all night. The song just so happens to be the romantic force behind Todd and Melissa’s long sex sessions, which becomes a focal point of the first episode.

One particularly wonderful thing about this episode was the amount of callbacks. The toilet pool miraculously returns in the most logical way: It smelled like “stinky city.” The creators of The Last Man on Earth have consistently done a good job of thinking through actual logical issues the last humans on earth would have, and inserting these most basic issues into hilarious scenarios. Yes, indoor plumbing probably wouldn’t exist after an apocalpyse. Yes, a man might use a pool to poo in. Yes, that pool would eventually smell terrible.

Phil’s Poop Pool (patent pending) would eventually get cleaned—and earn several immature laughs from me as I watched and later wondered how we can even exist in this society as adults. But first, Phil had to obsess over Melissa and Todd’s sex life.

Phil questions Todd.

Todd again shines as the most intensely nice and genuine person on the planet (literally, the most genuine person left on Earth). As Phil questions him, even using his authority as president of the United States, Todd can’t stop smiling. And why shouldn’t he? He survived the apocalypse, lives in a city with moderately warm weather year round, and has consistent intercourse with the sexy, telepathic mutant from X-Men: First Class.

On the other hand, the writers again disappointed me by taking Phil to predictably high levels of must-have-sex hijinks. This episode was really only saved by Will Forte’s halfway-insane-person act, and Mel Rodriguez’s Todd’s persistent ability to stay happy and not realize Phil was about to pull a Doug on House of Cards. (If this reference goes over your head, I once again stress that you watch House of Cards, even though it is the complete opposite of the show you came here to read about).

As per my formula established last week, everyone is mad at Phil, until he once again pulls through at the last minute—this time by cleaning poop out of a pool.

Poop pool cleanse.

But make yourself a peanut butter and jelly Pop-Tart sandwich, because this react is only half over, and this week’s second episode was a big improvement.

Besides the terrible pun, “Mooovin’ In” features some clever writing and more great callbacks (the return of Diego the birdie! Yes, I’m still obsessed with Phil’s balls!). But first, let’s talk about Carol.

Carol Pilbasian, played hilariously week after week by Kristen Schaal, is quickly becoming a one-note character. From the beginning, she was obnoxious, a bit clueless, OCD, very PC, and overall a major pain in Phil’s “goll dang” behind. I wrote a couple weeks back that I hoped we would start to see different sides of Carol. Yes, this show is a comedy. Yes, there should be zero expectations for major character development. However, shows like The Office and Parks and Rec hit their stride when the ridiculous, often stupid characters had a touching human moment. We see those occasionally with Phil, Todd, and Melissa, but never with Carol. She gets sad, sure, but she still is completely one-dimensional in her motives and goals. Her scam at the end of tonight’s episode to live in the same place as Phil is hysterical, but while Schaal continues to sling out hilarious lines (“Was that someone named Todd? Did Todd get that for you? Was it Todd?”), I think both the viewers and Phil deserve to see something a little more grounded out of her.

However, I am but a humble EW Community Contributor, with odd opinions and random references. Still, I love Kristen Schaal, and would not want her character to completely lose my interest. Yes, this is a passive-aggressive threat to the writers.

But you didn’t come here to talk about Carol; you came here to hear about a cow—a cow that Phil finds and talks up as a big “game-changer.” For once, he is right. The cow can provide milk for their cereal. Phil becomes so focused on impressing Melissa (surprise, surprise) by killing the cow for the steak she so dearly misses that he invents an aversion to milk.

Todd knows how to milk a cow and tie a clove hitch, and other various skills one could expect to find in the Boy Scout Handbook. This makes him the hero and Phil the deserving loser.


So again, Phil comes up with a massive plan to look good in Melissa’s eyes. After taking generous late-night sips from the cow, Phil steals the animal and hides it away in his bar with Darby, Kevin, and the boys. The next morning features a not-so-believable act by Phil, who pretends he has no idea what happened to the cow. While Phil doesn’t exactly give a Robert Durst bathroom confession, it’s pretty clear to Melissa what has happened.

As luck would have it, the cow escapes the bar, trouncing dear Gary the Volleyball on her way out.

The shining moment for both of these episodes comes when Phil has a moment with Todd that could possibly, maybe, hopefully mean he will stop trying to have sex with Melissa. We can only hope.

I can only hope you don’t get too upset with my ratings for this pair of episodes. Despite taking another simple concept (a cow) and milking it (get it?), the predictability and mostly one-dimensional sides of Phil and Melissa in these episodes was just too much. These episodes unfortunately earn my lowest rating yet.

6.2 out of 10 kevin

We’ve got a break next week, but you’d better believe I’ll be back in full force in two weeks to cover all things—good and bad—in Tucson, Arizona.

The Last Man on Earth airs Sundays at 9:30/8:30C on FOX.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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