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'black-ish' fan recap: Andre is NOT the father!

Season 1 | Episode 18 | “Sex, Lies and Vasectomies” | Aired Apr 1, 2015

On its best day, black-ish is one of the funniest comedies on television right now. But if it’s a day that gives us an episode like “Sex, Lies and Vasectomies,” black-ish also proves that it can get dark. How’d this happen from such a hijinks-filled scenario of Rainbow tricking Andre for the whole episode? And why is Rainbow tricking Andre? Here are the deets.

Andre is supposed to have gotten a vasectomy after they both agreed that four kids were enough. But Andre, like a lot of men (at least, according to television), didn’t want to get that part of him worked on. In short, Andre has been lying since 2008 about his non-vasectomy. Now, when Rainbow finds out she’s late (as in late), Andre’s lie is coming home to roost. Especially when Rainbow finds out from her artificially inseminated colleague (played by Mindy Sterling) that Andre never came in to get the procedure he was expected to.

To get back at Andre, Rainbow decides to play up the pregnancy angle, first by getting a pregnancy test and seeing if he’ll tell the truth. This doesn’t work since Andre does his best to hide the box of test sticks; then, when he can’t take the anticipation anymore, tries to get Rainbow to pee in her sleep (and on the stick) by putting her fingers in warm water. Of course, that doesn’t work, resulting in Andre just throwing the water in her face and telling her she was having night sweats. When she wakes up and finds the torn-open box of test sticks, Andre blames a rat (which also ate a whole plate of pork, according to him).

The mind games get even worse when Andre’s work buddies give him some real Steve Harvey advice: to “ride the lie out.” As you’d expect, in Andre’s case, riding the lie out doesn’t work. What also isn’t working is how the work dudes are treating the sole woman in their group like a Mad Men secretary. Come on, guys! It’s 2015! You’re doggone right she’s going to call Gloria Allred and get her case on television!

Rainbow’s bluffing gets to expert level when she brings home another woman’s ultrasound scans showing a small fetus, then states that she’s going to sue the hospital. Andre’s still trying to ride the lie, saying that they should sue, leading Rainbow to ask if he was sure, since it’s only one of the top cancer centers in America and has a glowing reputation. When Andre gives a shaky “okay,” Rainbow gets to calling around to find a lawyer, only for Andre to (expectedly) chicken out and say they can forgive the hospital instead of suing them. The last straw is when Rainbow compares Andre to Jesus in terms of forgiveness. He finally caves and says he didn’t get the vasectomy. Of course, we know that Rainbow knew the whole time, and Rainbow rightfully lets him have it. Andre’s rat traps also give it to him, snapping four of his toes in half.

The parents might be mad at each other, but their kids are happy that there’s no new kid joining the family. Well, everyone is happy except for Andre Jr., who wanted someone to look up to him and idolize him. I know Andre Jr. is still an awkward teen trying to find himself, but it seems like Andre Jr. is going to grow up with the same acceptance and daddy issues Andre Sr. has when it comes to his relationship with Pops. That’s actually really sad. But Andre Jr. quickly turns scary when he says he fantasizes about his family dying in a house fire, leaving him and his jacket the only survivors and headed toward an orphanage, where the younger kids will look up to him. Was I supposed to laugh or feel frightened? I didn’t expect to be looking in on the teenage years of The Following‘s Theo with that soliloquy.

All of the Johnsons have freaky fantasies, although I have to say Andre Jr.’s is the most elaborate and (as his parents said) “vivid.” Andre has a fantasy of Rainbow choking to death so he can remarry the girl at their local Chipotle so the kids can have extra guacamole (and so his lack of a vasectomy can mean something). Meanwhile, as Andre and Rainbow are at the hospital seeing to Andre’s broken toes, Rainbow divulges her fantasy of the kids going off to college, leaving her free to traipse around the world and meet a poetry-loving Egyptologist.

However, there is a reason to all of this madness—the tremendous fantasies are due to emotions and feelings left unsaid. In many ways, the Johnsons are a functional family, but in a lot of minute ways, there’s an undercurrent of dysfunction. Rainbow and Andre realize they need to communicate more, which leads Rainbow to divulge that she actually wants to scale back her healthcare work in order to see more of their kids’ milestones. That could really help Andre Jr. out, since he feels disturbingly undervalued as a person.

What did you think of this episode? Let us know your opinion!

black-ish airs Wednesdays at 9:30/8:30C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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