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Your 2015 Daytime Emmy Awards cheat sheet: Who will win?

Soap-opera episodes air five days a week, 52 weeks a year. But the Daytime Emmy Awards—which serve to honor the best of the best actors, writers, directors, and shows—distribute their golden trophies based solely on two self-submitted episodes. (The Bold and the Beautiful, which is a half-hour long, compared to one hour for Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, and The Young and the Restless, may submit four).

Unlike movies, which have a definite beginning, middle, and end, soap operas are almost all middle. It’s difficult to get a sense of a complete performance from only a snippet, but that’s what the Daytime Emmy judges have to work with. As a result, winning comes down less to a great acting moment, and more to the power of the story itself. As I explained once, completely unironically, about an actress’ chances, “She had a great year. She was raped!”

So even before the nominated stars and shows disclose the reels they submitted, we proudly present your 2015 Daytime Emmy Awards Cheat Sheet. Note that this cheat sheet is based not on what the actor actually did, but on which Emmy-bait card they played.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

PEGGY MCCAY as Caroline Brady (Days of Our Lives): Alzheimer’s.

ALISON SWEENEY as Sami Brady DiMera (Days of Our Lives): Grew up on the show (see: Heroines who grew up on soaps). For her last year, found out husband was cheating on her (see: Sex & Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome), vowed to destroy him, almost did, fell back in love with him, and sobbed as he was killed.

GINA TOGNONI as Phyllis Newman (The Young and the Restless): Woke up from a coma, found out fiance had moved on, vowed revenge.

MAURA WEST as Ava Jerome (General Hospital): Mafia princess who slept with a mobster—and his son, then didn’t know who the father of her baby was. It didn’t matter, as the mobster announced he planned to kill her soon as his daughter (or granddaughter) was born.

LAURA WRIGHT as Carly Corinthos (General Hospital): Fell back in love with mobster referenced above (see: Soap couples who can’t stay together—or apart). How could she not? What’s more sexy than a man threatening to kill a pregnant woman?

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

ANTHONY GEARY as Luke Spencer (General Hospital): Split personality! Jackpot! Plus a busload of previous wins, prompting voters to think that if he was good before, he was probably good again.

CHRISTIAN LEBLANC as Michael Baldwin (The Young and the Restless): Cancer! Almost as good as a split personality!

BILLY MILLER as Billy Abbott (The Young and the Restless): His daughter died, so he held the guy responsible hostage. And cheated on his wife. Both are logical reactions.

JASON THOMPSON as Dr Patrick Drake (General Hospital): His wife died, then came back to life, then left town. Also, his baby with another woman died.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

LINSEY GODFREY as Caroline Spencer Forrester (The Bold and the Beautiful): Fell in love with the guy who used her as a muse for his fashion sketches. (This is not a euphemism.) Plus, she recently got hit by a car in real life. Sympathy vote!

AMELIA HEINLE as Victoria Newman (The Young and the Restless): Wasn’t sure if her estranged husband or her current boyfriend fathered her baby.

ELIZABETH HENDRICKSON as Chloe Fisher (The Young and the Restless): Her daughter died too.

FINOLA HUGHES as Anna Devane (General Hospital): Police chief whose long-lost love returned from the dead and resumed his mobster career.

LISA LOCICERO as Olivia Falconeri (General Hospital): Slept with a mobster. And had psychic visions.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

SCOTT CLIFTON as Liam Spencer (The Bold and the Beautiful): Coveted his brother’s wife.

CHAD DUELL as Michael Corinthos (General Hospital): Found out his adoptive dad killed his biological dad. And that his mother had fallen back in love with him. (See Carly Corinthos, above.)

KRISTOFF ST. JOHN as Neil Winters (The Young and the Restless): Went blind. And his son had an affair with his wife.

JACOB YOUNG as Rick Forrester (The Bold and the Beautiful): Lost his wife to the fashion sketcher. Decided to become a real dick as a result.

Outstanding Younger Actress in a Drama Series

KRISTEN ALDERSON as Kiki Jerome (General Hospital): Had to answer to the name “Kiki.”

CAMILA BANUS as Gabi Hernandez (Days of Our Lives): Had a baby with a guy who preferred other guys. Went to prison.

HUNTER KING as Summer Newman (The Young and the Restless): Married a criminal just before her mom came out of a coma. Found out the guy she thought was her dad really was her dad, as opposed to the guy whom she’d recently been told really was her dad.

HALEY PULLOS as Molly Lansing Davis (General Hospital): Got in a car crash with a boy who had a crush on her. He died. She cried.

Outstanding Younger Actor in a Drama Series

BRYAN CRAIG as Morgan Corinthos (General Hospital): Wondered if his girlfriend’s baby was his—or his mobster dad’s.

MAX EHRICH as Fenmore Baldwin (The Young and the Restless): Dad had cancer. Almost as good as having cancer yourself. Almost.

TEQUAN RICHMOND as TJ Ashford (General Hospital): Learned more than he ever wanted to know about both his parents. Studied for the SATs.

FREDDIE SMITH as Sonny Kiriakis (Days of Our Lives): Pretended he didn’t notice his boyfriend got recast just a few months before their wedding day.

Outstanding Special Guest Performer in a Drama Series

MEREDITH BAXTER as Maureen (The Young and the Restless): Drunk mom.

SALLY KELLERMAN as Constance (The Young and the Restless): Vengeful, dying grandma.

DONNA MILLS as Madeline Reeves (General Hospital): Poisoned her pregnant daughter and put her in a coma—for her own good.

LINDA ELENA TOVAR as Rosalie Martinez (General Hospital): She’s funny.

FRED WILLARD as John Forrester (The Bold and the Beautiful): Same character he plays in Christopher Guest movies. Only now he’s from Australia. And sans accent.

RAY WISE as Ian Ward (The Young and the Restless): Evil cult leader. Not named Bob.

As for which shows are nominated for Outstanding Daytime Drama: There are four soaps left on the air. And four slots to fill. You do the math.

Whom do you expect to bring home a Daytime Emmy this year? Tell us!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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