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'Undateable' fan recap: It's great to see you

Season 2 | Episode 3 | “An Imaginary Torch Walks into a Bar” | Aired Mar 31, 2015

What do you do when your ex unexpectedly walks into the bar you own? Luckily for us, Undateable provides step-by-step instructions on how to handle the situation. First, have your best friend tell her that you are dating a hot Italian model. Second, invite her to pop in at any time. Follow this invitation with an eccentric display of finger guns. Be sure to accentuate the moment with popping sounds, as if you are shooting her in the face. This way, she’ll file you under the crazy category and vow to never come near you again. You’re welcome.

Poor Justin. This is exactly how he handled seeing Nicki. His mood was further dashed when Danny told him that Nicki is engaged. Justin is frustrated that he didn’t handle the situation as he had always imagined—in summertime, running into Nicki while holding his biracial baby, Spencer. Danny suggests he invite Nicki back for a do-over. Clearly it couldn’t get any worse.

When Nicki arrives, Danny is proud that his little buddy is handling the situation beautifully. He pretends to fly a plane (improv is where Chris D’Elia shines), claiming clear skies for miles. When Justin hugs Nicki goodbye, Danny prepares for a smooth landing. Suddenly, Nicki mentions the fact that her engagement-party venue canceled on her (TURBULENCE). Justin offers the bar (LOST AN ENGINE) and makes plans to throw her a nice party. Danny parachutes to the ground, completely annoyed with his protégé.

The next night, Nicki introduces the gang to her fiancé, Parker. Danny passes an imaginary torch between the Filipino tech millionaire and pokes fun at him for grabbing the invisible fire. Everyone agrees that Parker is a total tool bag. With that said, it looks like he and Nicki will have the biracial child. Sorry, Spencer!

Parker approaches Justin to thank him for not giving it a go with Nicki when she moved away. He admits that he has always been scared that Justin would show up one day as a grand gesture. This revelation sparks an idea.

Justin: If romantic comedies have taught me anything, it’s that wedding settings are the perfect time to tell someone how you feel!
Danny: I can’t keep saying this to you. Your life is not a romantic comedy.
Shelly: That’s just what the best friend would say!

Justin claims that this moment is his rom-com. He’s the blue-collar guy who will steal the girl from the rich dude. He runs to the microphone and Danny sounds a verbal alarm. This is what they’ve been practicing! This is not a drill! Friends come from all four corners of the bar and confiscate Justin along with his microphone, stuffing him into his office. Crisis averted. For now.

While Danny is manhandling Justin, Leslie is giving Burski the silent treatment. When asked to choose between their friendship or hooking up with Leslie once and never seeing her again, Burski chooses the booty call. Leslie was completely offended. And since revenge is a dish best served smokin’ hot, she wears a dress that includes Burski’s favorite colors (short and tight) to make him squirm. Then she invites everyone to grab her butt in front of him so he can know what he’s missing. It’s life-changing for several of the bar patrons.

Undateable Season 2Back in the office, Justin suggests that Danny has no idea what he’s going through because Danny has never been in love. Danny claims that this is untrue. He is in love with himself. Justin agrees, but still tries to escape. Danny is forced to put him in a choke hold. Justin quits struggling and starts snuggling with Danny. The physical comedy on this show is hilarious. And these two actors have amazing chemistry. Why is no one watching this show? Am I the only one who loves Undateable?

Danny asks Justin to explain his plan. Justin ticks off the details without missing a beat. He will give a perfect speech, Nicki will cry, they will hug, someone will play the perfect pop song, and they will live happily ever after and sell the movie rights. The end. Danny begs Justin to reconsider. He knows that Justin stayed in Detroit because he never wanted to be with Nicki. If he did want to be with her, he would have fought for her. That’s Romantic Comedy 101.

Undateable Season 2On the other side of the door, Leslie speaks to Burski through Brett. Almost immediately, Brett ditches Leslie and defends her using his own words. He wants Burkski to “treat us” with respect. Burski admits that he was scared and lonely. All he wants is a dance. Leslie gives in, allowing Burski to make a grand entrance onto the dance floor. Just as he runs and slides on his knees, Justin cuts the music to make an announcement. So close, Burski. So close.

Justin addresses the audience with an all-knowing smile. He tells the crowd that the person he’s been looking for his whole life has been there all along. He calls Nicki’s name, waits a beat, then asks her to move out of the way. Because his person is behind her, and his name is Danny.

Danny and Justin cry, hug it out, and continue the bromance we all know and love. Nicki leaves with Parker. Burski dances with Leslie, as Candace sings a song about how they aren’t made for each other and it will never work. She’s accompanied by Justin on the keyboard. Although we don’t get a pop-culture song or a musical arrangement from the ’80s, Justin does join in the harmony with Candace. Leslie leans in for a kiss. Just as her lips meet Burski’s, she pulls back and smiles. PSYCHE!

Pickup Lines

Leslie: What do you do when a dog makes a mistake on the carpet? You rub his nose in it.
Burski: I would love to rub my nose in your carpet.

Candace: All I have is a scrawny little white-girl butt. There are people out there who like those too, right?
Shelly: Oh, sweetie. No.

Undateable airs on Tuesdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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