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Matching tats and 3 more great 'Grey's Anatomy' moments this week

Season 11 | Episode 16 | “Don’t Dream It’s Over” | Aired Mar 19, 2015

Ooh, you thought that after that Geena Davis heartbreak you were going to get a heartbreak-break on Grey’s Anatomy? Nope. You were so wrong. As the episode faded out last week, Meredith tried to make a nice little phone call to Derek, but on the other end, a woman answered the phone and then immediately hung up. Ever since, the phone goes straight to voicemail, and honestly … that’s a good place to jump in. Let’s talk about the best moments of the week.

April and the Technicolor mourning bra

Jackson and April have not had a great season, y’all. Jackson has been back in the doctor saddle for a couple of episodes now, but April has been flying a bit more under the radar. But in her first episode really making a strong appearance, she’s harsh with patients and other doctors and spends about as much time in the closet with her shirt off as she does in the E.R. She doesn’t want to be treated like she’s broken. She yells at Jackson, “I just want to feel like me.” I mean, naked April in the closet isn’t really an April I remember, but whatevs. She screams, “I am your wife,” and then they have sex in the parking lot, which is cool, I guess.

Calzona: Revisited

Callie is on a date with someone with Portia de Rossi Scandal hair. Cheeky. But it doesn’t last long because Callie has surgery, and this woman has to go … somewhere. But not before Arizona sees her kiss Callie. Eventually, Arizona and Callie have a throw-down about the whole situation, but it mostly consists of Callie telling Arizona that she can date and kiss who she wants, and it’s time for her to live her life.

But at the end of the episode, we find out that Arizona has actually dated Portia de Rossi hair. Not only that, but Portia de Rossi hair wanted to get matching tats with Arizona. She wasn’t jealous of Callie—she was concerned. That might mean they care about each other again. Then Ed Sheeran’s “One” started playing, and I built a boat to paddle myself out of the river of tears I cried. WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT CALLIE AND ARIZONA?

Five years later

We cut to the chase pretty quickly when an unruly patient comes into the E.R. swinging. I mean that literally. No, like, Maggie gets knocked out. Legit swinging, y’all. But he’s not unruly. He has Alzheimer’s and it’s revealed by his wife, Mrs. Davis (played by the completely underrated Lily Knight), who arrives with a heartbreaking speech about taking a shower and turning on football and then he was gone.

In a surprising turn of events, Mr. Davis is lucid. He chooses not to have surgery, which could lead to death. He’s letting go of the life he has because the life he’s living isn’t worth ending. The whole situation leads to Webber revealing to Maggie that Ellis had Alzheimer’s. And then Maggie reveals that she knew she is predisposed to Alzheimer’s, but she didn’t want to say anything to Richard because she was scared it came from him and he didn’t know. How much do you love that?

Happy, tall, and a lot of great hair

“She sounded happy and tall, with a lot of great hair.” —Meredith
“I hate voices like that.” —Maggie

When we left off last week, Meredith heard a woman on the other end of Derek’s phone. And then she hung up. In the on-call room, Meredith crashes Alex’s sleeping party, which has apparently already been crashed by Maggie on the top bunk. Worried, she asks if they think Derek is cheating on her. I stand by my opinion that the BEST part of this season has been the Meredith, Alex, Callie, and Maggie quad.

Meredith is literally the strangest character this season, and I love it. She asks Callie if she knew that Arizona cheated on her before she knew it. And George. Yikes. If you do a close study of Callie’s relationships, you realize that she has NOT had a fun road. The gang joins in, and Alex, Callie, Meredith, and Maggie speculate about where Derek’s phone is. But Meredith is all, “He went to a new city, found a girl, fell in love. He did it with me.” Then Alex quips back, “I’ve watched you two suck face for years. You’ve disgusted me for a long, long time.”

And as the episode draws to a close, Derek comes home after taking his flight and leaving his keys behind. He says, “You called me and a woman answered my phone,” and then Meredith says, “I called you and a woman answered your phone,” and then the show is over because Shonda Rhimes hates you. She hates me, too. SHE’S A DEMON.

Notes from the O.R. Board

  • Derek’s “lover” from next week that likes to touch his forearm a lot has a Gracie Bell Taylor forehead from Friday Night Lights. Is that mean? Maybe. Is it allowed because she’s stealing Derek? Sure. Why not.
  • Am I the only one really upset that Callie said “Team MerDer?” It’s like breaking the fourth wall. DON’T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL, CALLIE.
  • We’re getting a lot of early-Grey’s lingo. Last week we got some “seriously” back. This week we got “twisty” back, and that ending door scene? Tell me that wasn’t the WORST #TBT to the postbomb discussion about lavender shampoo. Shoo, girl.
  • Amelia-Owen sex will never be Cristina-Owen sex. Never.

Next week, we have to meet this … new, awful D.C. woman who is trying to steal Derek away. Also, let’s say a quick prayer to Denny Duquette that Derek’s return doesn’t ruin Meredith’s 90-person success streak.

Where’s the last part of this season going, guys? Do you still miss Cristina? What do you think she’s doing in Europe? Probably printing an entire body.

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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