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'Undateable' season premiere fan recap: Catch and release

Season 2 | Episode 1 | “A Japanese Businessman Walks Into a Bar” | Aired Mar 17, 2015

It’s been nine months since we last checked in on the relationship status of our favorite Undateable band of misfits. All appear to be in the same boat where we last left them. Danny is a self-proclaimed date meister. Burski is a perv. Brett is too afraid to ask a guy out. Shelly is crushing on any girl in the bar, including newbie waitress Candace, and Leslie is trying to turn heads with her buns of steel. The only one actually dating is my pop culture-loving, freestyle-performing Justin. Unfortunately, his sort of girlfriend Nicki is dating other people too. Enter Mr. Date Meister.

Since Justin (Brent Morin) has no idea if he and Nicki are exclusive, Danny (Chris D’Elia) convinces him that this is the perfect opportunity to participate in a one-night-stand. Danny’s friend Erica is enamored with Justin’s cardio hip-hop workout routine. This makes her the ideal candidate for Justin’s first catch and release.

Justin laughs at the suggestion, assuming that Erica only wants to hang out. Danny prompts that Erica just got out of a relationship. Plus, she offered to meet Justin after work. What else would they be doing at two in the morning? Just plays along, admitting that he’s no stranger to one-night stands. When he begins his text message with, “My dearest Erica,” Shelly (Ron Funches) intervenes.

Shelly: “You get six words. Three of which must be “slap that ass.”

The next morning, Danny preps Justin for the inevitable goodbye moment. He must be strong and just let Erica walk out the door without saying anything to lead her on. Erica enters the living room and Justin simply acknowledges their night together as a good time. He’s completely smooth and—wait, she’s back! Erica searches the house for her keys. Justin can’t stand the tension that builds inside his chest, no matter how many times Danny encourages him to channel Braveheart and just HOLD. Justin doesn’t want to be rude. He asks her out on a real date and she says yes. He is rewarded with a hearty slap from Danny.

UndateableMeanwhile, Leslie (Bianca Kajlich) discovers that her very own butt is the poster child for her gym’s workout regime. Sadly, the manager claims that the butt belongs to a professional model. Outraged, Leslie enlists Burski (Rick Glassman), Brett (David Fynn), and Shelly to prove him wrong. Get ready for Operation Booty Call.

Shelly poses as a Japanese businessman (of course he does) to create a diversion. Burski lifts weights to draw attention away from the side of the gym where Brett will remove the poster of Leslie’s butt. Naturally, he replaces the picture with a poster of his own butt. Leslie gets her dignity back. Brett gets some “free advertising.” Burski uses the discarded poster as new “artwork” for his apartment. Everyone wins!

Later at the bar, Danny busts in to tell everyone that Justin totally bombed his one-night stand, and now he’s dating a girl he doesn’t even like. Justin doesn’t understand why this is a problem. All he has to do is wait for her to meet someone else before she lets him down easy. Who cares?

Danny cares. He cares enough to break up with Erica on Justin’s behalf. Justin bestows Danny with the overbearing “bad guy” title. Danny counters. When it comes to letting down women, Justin is much worse than Danny. And he can prove it. Will the fake court come to order?

Danny calls the new waitress Candace (Bridgit Mendler) to the stand. He asks if she realizes she’s a horrible waitress. (Mendler speaking “I do” into a beer bottle as if it were a microphone was hilarious.) Danny asks if Justin recently hinted that her shifts would be reduced in the future and that money is tight. Candace admits that Justin had mentioned those things. Everyone assumes that Justin was trying to get Candace to quit so he wouldn’t have to fire her.

The defense calls a surprise witness to the stand: Erica! The bar (literally and comically) murmurs with anticipation. Erica wishes that Justin had just been real with her instead of trying to protect her feelings. Justin apologizes and the defense rests. It would appear that Justin is so desperate to be liked, he strings women along. Danny gets real for a moment, forcing Justin to realize that this is exactly what Nicki is doing to him.

Justin has a conversation with Nicki. She apologizes for stringing him along. She releases Justin back into the wild with a dagger in his heart. Danny convinces him that once he gets rid of the khakis, the world is his oyster. Then they bro-hug it out.

Although we didn’t hear the signature vocal stylings of Brent Morin this episode, I can say with complete enthusiasm that I’m glad Justin is back in the single circuit. He’s at his best when Danny mentors him through the treacherous waters of dating. Their chemistry is undeniable. Welcome back, Undateable!

Pickup Lines

Leslie: One-night-stands are like fast food. Sure you feel guilty the next day, but sometimes you just need something cheap you can enjoy in your car.

Brett: We’re going to get your ass back.
Shelly: When we do, you’re going to have to return it to whatever black girl you stole it from.

Danny: If you won’t listen to me, then maybe you’ll listen to the voice of our generation.
Justin: Don’t you dare use Taylor Swift against me.
Danny: You and Nicki are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like ever.

Undateable airs on Tuesdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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