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'The Last Man on Earth' fan recap: Poop jokes

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “Sweet Melissa” | Aired Mar 15, 2015

“You can always tell me about the diarrhea.”

Carol, the last married woman on Earth, taught us yet another lesson about marriage on this week’s The Last Man on Earth. If the marriage door is broken, fix it with random pieces of scrap love or something romantic.

However, not even the Bible had rules for marriage when only one man and two women are left on Earth—and one of those women is very horny and attractive, and not the man’s wife. By the way, someone else (probably a man) is almost definitely showing up in the upcoming episodes, as was telegraphed by the most obvious “next week on” preview ever.

But “hold your breasts,” or breath, or whatever keeps you from dying, as I overanalyze what should be a half-hour of carefree comedy once again.

We pick up right where we left off, with Phil sprinting toward the second-to-last woman on Earth. It’s January Jones, an actress with a wonderfully alliterative name and decent resume. It appears she’s not a guest star, which is good for a number of reasons. One, if she was only temporary, that would mean she would have to be murdered off the show. Two, she’s another flawless casting choice, and I would be as sad as Phil to see her go.

Melissa reacts to Carol

Jones is “Melissa Shart”—the first of several poop jokes this episode. She’s also a timely breath of fresh air in a sitcom that for three episodes only had two actors and a variety of balls with faces on them. Melissa appears to be the straight character, which allows Phil and Carol to be even weirder. From the beginning, she’s taking care of the eccentric Carol and judging the horny, goofy Phil. Her reaction to seeing them at first is actually pretty underwhelming. No matter how weird Tucson’s original two seem, it would be entirely unrealistic that she would want to go move into a house moments after meeting them. It’s been at least two years since whatever vague virus wiped out humanity, and she’s more interested in claiming an abandoned Bluth model home.

Then again, Phil and Carol are super-strange. Which brings us to their first dinner together.

Predictably, Phil is over the top in trying to charm Melissa. After realizing that Ms. Shart had been in Tucson for a full two weeks, Phil is driven even crazier by the rushed once-necessary marriage to Carol. Oh yeah…and he shaves.

The reaction to Phil’s clean shaven face, specifically comparing him to Quentin Tarantino, made it immediately clear that Phil will pretty much always be the odd one out, and things will never go his way.

The further attempts to woo Melissa at dinner are fairly predictable. Because I am an 11-year-old living in a 24-year-old’s body, I laughed far more at the diarrhea storyline. This was mostly due to Kristen Schaal’s delivery, and the all-important comedy Rule of Threes.

I couldn’t tell you where the Rule of Threes came from. I’m sure a quick Google Search would clear that up right away but this is my recap, my rules. Basically, everything is funnier in threes. Even some jokes that weren’t funny initially can become funny by the third iteration. Back to the diarrhea trifecta:

  1. Phil fakes sickness to avoid having sex with Carol. She says he can tell her if he has diarrhea.
  2. Carol ruins Phil’s fantasy dream sequence by appearing on a toilet, experiencing diarrhea.
  3. Phil tells her he has diarrhea at the end of the episode.

There you have it. Poop. Is. Funny. And seriously, if you’re still reading at this point, after the balls-heavy recap in the first week, you are something special (or terrible).

Kristen Schaal on the can

After that second diarrhea joke in the dream sequence, Melissa catches Phil lifting weights.

So far, this is the only moment in a four-episode run that I absolutely hated. Did it feel familiar to you? That’s because the “I didn’t know you would be here” occurred in pretty much every Frat Pack movie of the early 2000s, most notably Anchorman and Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

An overused cliché

It’s lazy writing, which is uncharacteristic of this show. To Will Forte’s credit, he milks it pretty well, but he still uses virtually the same lines both Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell used.

All is forgiven after the final third of this episode. First, a good bonding moment between Carol and Melissa makes up for Melissa’s initially underwhelmed reaction to seeing other humans. She does miss people. She likes her name misspelled at Starbucks. She is human.

Even better than Carol’s wedding photo album made up entirely of sketches is how much this scene misdirected me. While it is a bonding moment, it turns out to work in Phil’s favor. Phil once again forces a one-on-one situation with Melissa, and it turns out that’s exactly what she wanted. She confesses she misjudged him, is super-horny, and other stuff that Phil didn’t hear because he was already unbuttoning his shirt.

Another sweet moment between Phil and Carol (Why do these keep happening? And why do I like them so much?) takes place when Phil begins to ask for a divorce, but Carol once again kills him with kindness—and arts and crafts. And, of course, we get our final poop joke.

We don’t get to see all of Phil’s sporting-ball friends this episode, but I’ll still be using Kevin to score this one. Except for a minor misstep with some predictable jokes, this episode had me both laughing and gearing up for next week. Therefore, 8.5 out of 10 Kevins.

episode 4 rating

See you next week for another rousing The Last Man on Earth!

The Last Man on Earth airs Sundays at 9:30/8:30C on Fox.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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