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'The O.C.' nostalgia recap: The Julie Cooper Comeback Tour

Season 1 | Episode 10 | “The Perfect Couple” | Aired Nov 12, 2003

I don’t think a carnival counts as a party, so according to my scorecard, we are well overdue for a good ol’-fashioned, drama-soaked The O.C. shindig. “The Perfect Couple” sees my demands, and raises the stakes. How about staging that party on a boat, where there’s nowhere to run, lots of places to hide, and plenty of opportunities to quietly drown one’s social rivals? I like it.

That’s the climax of this episode, of course, so let’s take it back. Don’t mention the word “climax” to Ryan, because “Mo-om! Can’t a guy make out with his girlfriend in the privacy of his own pool house?” He and Marissa have been on that regular first-base tip since their Ferris wheel kiss, and now spend all their leisure time rolling around fully clothed on Ryan’s bed. Kirsten accidentally interrupts them, which embarrasses her more than either of the kids. “Never happened with Seth,” she rationalizes, sheepishly. In a house full of raging teenage boy hormones, I’d be more concerned with walking in on, ahem, solo activities.

Between tongueless kisses, Ryan and Marissa had decided to force themselves to leave the room and make the weekend their first official date. This concerns Summer. “What does Chino know about a date?” she wonders. “Where he’s from? They don’t even have a P.F. Chang’s.” Well, 10 points from Chino for an inexcusable lack of orange-peel chicken. Ryan feels the pressure. Summer is right: His previous social life involved lots of group hangs and backseat trysts. He knows not of the kind of wining and dining a Newport girl must be used to. When Summer and Marissa join them at lunch, Seth wildly promises “the best date ever,” because he’s helping.

Fresh from her illuminating trip to the pool house, Kirsten asks Sandy to have “the talk” with Ryan. Sandy submits that Ryan seems to be doing just fine in that department, but Kirsten persists. She wants her husband to talk to Ryan about “sex in the house,” but we never really get the Cohens’ position on that. For? Against? Just keep it down? If you’re into weird stuff, we don’t want to know about it? They get sidetracked talking about their own sex life, which is nonexistent since they took up either side of the Balboa Wetlands lawsuit. They set their own date night for Saturday, and blond legal temptress Rachel is not pleased that he’s cutting short their working weekend: “Sandy Cohen, you are cheating on me. With your wife.” Calm down, Hell Woods.

Saturday isn’t shaping up to be romantic for anyone, except for secret couple Caleb Nichol and—le gasp—Julie Cooper. Julie is prepared to body-check her way back into Newport society, and she knows just the man to help her reestablish her dominance. All Kirsten is told at the time is that Caleb has offered up his yacht to the children’s hospital benefit that Julie is chairing. She doesn’t know that the two are very much involved, in the biblical/pool house sense. That reveal is reserved for Ryan, with whom Julie has been making nice.

Since the separation, Julie has been recharging in her dragon-lady lair, plotting her coup and having her talons painted by Baby Shailene Woodley. (I assume.) To win back her social standing, she’ll work both angles. She’ll reopen communication with Jimmy, which will draw Marissa back to her side and make Julie look like a saint. But she’ll also look to the future, and bed the rich old man she should have seduced in the first place. Marissa, meanwhile, thinks that the mercy and compassion that come with Julie Cooper 2.0 will mean a reconciliation of her parents and the mending of her family. Why is it always Ryan who has to deliver the bad news?

The stress is distracting from Ryan’s duties as Captain of the S.S. Seth/Anna, but not so much that he fails to prod Seth into asking his “friend” to the gala. When Summer hears about the date, she is a) wearing teal cowboy boots and b) so flustered that she fashions her own date out of the first guy she sees. (“He’s surprised that the ocean is big.”) Anna’s considerable charms might finally be making it past Seth’s armor of obliviousness. He can be himself around her without fear that that’s the wrong person to be. (“This is where all the magic happens?” “Well, if by magic you’re referring to the card game, then sadly, yes.”)

On Caleb’s yacht, Summer observes their growing closeness with all the sanity of Newport’s moms at a Vineyard Vines sample sale. She can see that they’re about to turn a corner that would mean her being replaced as Seth Cohen’s ideal, so she recklessly tosses up her Hail Mary. While Julie Cooper gathers her minions for her “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” moment, Summer pulls Seth to a deserted deck and kisses him. She pulls back, confused and angry. She does it again. “I like Seth Cohen,” she moans, sliding helplessly down a wall. Seth, reeling: “You what now?” Summer: “Nothing. I wasn’t talking to you. But if you tell anyone what you heard here, I will kill you.”

Meanwhile, the Balboa Wetlands suit seems primed to inspire the kind of white-collar murder that A&E would produce a long-form documentary about. The settlement conference is a disaster. Caleb accuses Sandy of having an affair with his colleague. Sandy vows to take him down. ( “You’ll poison anything: the air, the water, even your daughter’s marriage, as long as you profit.”) Valiantly, the Cohens still plan for Date Night. Unfortunately, Rachel’s got briefs and she’s got takeout, and it’s not just the lo mein that’s making her thirsty. She makes her move, and Sandy realizes that so much of the stress and urgency around their case has been an illusion. He shuts her down (“I got a boat to catch.”) and leaves the office to meet his wife.

Back on the boat, the first thing Ryan must do in the role of Marissa’s “boyfriend” (*wide-eyed Atwood stare*) is to dash all dreams of her family’s happiness. He gives Julie the chance to do it herself, but that’s not part of her plan. So Ryan tells Marissa about the special friendship her mother is cultivating with Seth’s grandpa (and sort of Ryan’s?), conveniently right before Julie shoves a microphone into Marissa’s face. With her dad and sister standing proudly next to her, Marissa asks the room for another round of applause for Julie … and for Caleb: “Aren’t they just the perfect couple?” Ryan looks proud enough to burst.

“Don’t start with me,” Julie cautions to Jimmy. “Okay, after tonight, I’m done with you. You’re Caleb’s problem now,” he answers. Marissa feels the same. She failed as a double agent, but don’t count Julie Cooper out just yet—she still has the CEO of the Newport Group in her pocket.

At Chez Cohen, two couples rejoin their dates, already in progress. Sandy and Kirsten may not have all the time they wish they did, but they always fit in the important stuff. (“What are you doing now?” “You.” “Glad to hear it.”) And Ryan and Marissa try to sleep with each other—just sleep with each other—with little success. (“Suddenly, not so tired.”) So, to recap: that rule about “sex in the house”? Get some.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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