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'The Musketeers' fan recap: Rochefort + Eye patch = Bad things

Season 2 | Episode 9 | “The Accused” | Aired March 14, 2015

I need to take back everything I’ve said about how The Musketeers this season has been not as exciting as last year. After tonight’s episode where ALL THE THINGS HAPPENED, everyone who watched had their stress level go completely through the roof.

If you thought Rochefort had gone crazy with power last week after his attack on the queen, that was nothing compared to what went down this week. Putting on the eye patch to cover up his injuries only makes him even more sinister as he orders that no one, even the Queen, is allowed to see the King without his permission. Despite this, Constance tells the Musketeers what has happened, and they go to escort the Queen to see the King, who is furious that she wrote a letter to her brother asking for his help. Even though she tells him it was when he had been kidnapped, the King, egged on by Rochefort, accuses her of treason. Since she spurned him, Rochefort refuses to show any sign of respect toward her. It’s so baffling how he gets away with this and how incredibly stupid the King is being at this point.

Aramis is now aware that Rochefort knows of his relationship with the Queen. He tells Athos of this, looking for advice.

Athos: If Rochefort’s advances toward the Queen is treason, what does that make yours?
Aramis: Love?
Athos: I’m sure the King will appreciate the difference.

Knowing that they have to reveal this information, Athos calls in the other Musketeers plus Treville and very bluntly tells them Aramis slept with the Queen, and the Dauphin may be his son. Understandably, everyone is angry, upset, and shocked, as this puts everyone involved in danger.

Now in seclusion, the King has been suffering from headaches, so the doctor is called in to give him medicine to mix with his wine. He wants to forgive Anne and bring her back, but Rochefort convinces him that she must still be punished. The baby is taken away from the Queen, with only Marguerite to take care of him. This is not a good thing, because Marguirete has sold her soul to the devil, aka Rochefort. She’s probably really regretting her decision to let Rochefort blackmail her about her relationship with Aramis, because now if Rochefort goes down, he’s going to take her down with him. She sees him switch the medicine with poison, and there’s nothing she can do about it.

Milady is willing to help take down Rochefort after she experienced his craziness firsthand by him choking her. Athos and D’Artagnan are both suspicious of her, but at this point, it seems she is actually being sincere. She tells him that he is still a Spanish spy, and will show them where he keeps documents so they can have proof.

The Queen must be removed for her safety, so the group sneaks into the palace to escort her. Constance stays behind to be with the Dauphin—but alas, she’s put her trust also in Marguerite. The baby’s crying annoys the King, but does he offer to hold him himself? No, of course not. He still wants the Queen to come back to him, but Rochefort insists he waits until morning, and has him finish off the tainted wine.

On their way to find those papers, Athos asks Milady if his brother really did rape her. He tells her it’s hard for him to believe her because she lies about everything. Once they get inside his office, they’re able to get what they need, but Rochefort begins to approach. They are able to hide away just in the nick of time, but Rochefort is aware that someone has been there. However, he’s distracted by screaming coming from the King’s quarters. Right after he leaves, the tension between Athos and Milady finally gives in and the two kiss. This, I fear, can only be bad for Athos, because now she knows that she still holds power over him and will most likely use this against him in the future.

The screaming comes from Marguerite, for the King has collapsed and is foaming at the mouth. Rochefort is quick to blame the doctor and Constance, saying they were doing it on behalf of the Queen, and locks them in prison. Remember how we were feeling sorry for the doctor because he was really nice and Constance still turned him down? Well, now things just go from bad to the worst because Rochefort does a power play on Constance, sentences the doctor to death, then BEHEADS HIM immediately, forcing Constance to watch.

Meanwhile, the Queen is safe at the monastery of those fighting nuns from last season. They let her know about Rochefort’s true alliances, and realizes that if she is blamed for the King’s death, he will be in a position to make decisions with Spain to take over France. The Queen is insistent on returning to Paris so she can fulfill her duty and help save France. The plan is to write to Rochfort’s Spanish contact as him and get him to come to France, outing Rochefort. One of the nuns offers to help forge the letter, which shows how unconventional these nuns are. Porthos goes off to deliver it.

Everyone else escorts the Queen back to Paris, where Marguerite takes them to what they think will be the King—though she warns Aramis that he needs to run away. Inside the room, the Red Guard are there to arrest everyone. Rochefort tells the Queen about Aramis’ relationship with Marguerite. As this was not known to her previously, it puts some doubt in her trust toward him. Aramis is then arrested, Constance is sentenced to death, and the Queen has no power, as the King will still not see her. It seems that Rochefort has won.

I honestly have no idea how on earth this is going to wrap up next week. Either the season is going to end on a cliffhanger, or Rochefort has to die somehow. There is so much at stake here, from the King’s poisoning to Aramis being held for treason—not to mention the Milady/Athos storyline. There’s a small bit with Catherine returning and trying to kill Milady, but Athos steps in to rescue her, thus showing his affections are still there. Tonight’s episode was so crazy; next week’s season finale is building up to be an intense showdown.

The Musketeers airs Saturdays at 9/8C on BBC America.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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