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Spit shines, 9-irons and 3 more great 'Grey's Anatomy' moments this week

Season 11 | Episode 15 | “I Feel the Earth Move” | Aired Mar 12, 2015

Grey’s Anatomy is fantastic at a good story arc, but it’s kind of nice when it ventures away from the multi-episode stories to whip out some good ol’-fashioned medical cases. That’s where we’re at this week—even though Derek is still gone and Dr. Herman is still blind, we get some Seattle-Grace-Mercy-West-Grey-Sloan-Memorial realness this week. These are the best moments …

No-hitter Grey

Jo, being a totally adorable freak show, has been stalking Meredith. Why? Because Meredith is a bit of a freak show herself—she hasn’t lost a patient since November, which means that you want Meredith in your court. But just as she brings attention to it, Seattle is hit by an earthquake, because why the hell not? Meredith uses her entire body as a shield because she’s an attending now, and that’s just how you do.

Alex and Jo discuss this crazy streak she’s having, and Alex says that she can’t bring it up because if she talks to Jo about it, it’ll jinx her. It was almost enough, because Meredith’s patient coded in his CT scan, but Meredith literally slammed her fist into his chest, and he came back because medicine. But in the middle of the surgery, Jo tells Meredith about the streak and that it started on Nov. 14 … the day Derek left. It’s heavy but, like, go Meredith! Right? Wrong. Because she calls Derek to tell him about her streak and a woman answers the phone and then hangs up. INFIDEL!

Oh, the berries you will razz

How long has it been since we had a nice elevator love scene? Too long. And unfortunately, the latest one is with Dr. Pierce and a nice radiologist named Ethan. The elevator stops in the midst of the earthquake, and there’s some flirting, but Maggie is emotionally hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out. Lady needs some kind of romantic attention because she’s a train wreck. But the real winner in this case is an attractive, spritely woman who is 75 who introduces us to the term “spit-shine his 9-iron.” Just when you think that there’s no way a sweet old lady meant that, you learn that’s exactly what she meant. Bless.

Callie pushes Maggie to talk about her dating life and then about Ethan, and Dr. Pierce essentially mocks his radiology. From what I gather, that’s like being “the help” in hospital terms. I don’t get it either, but it’s how it works. Anyway, Maggie talks about how there’s always been a gap between herself and other people because she’s different and awkward, and I swear, she is one of the most endearing characters this show has ever had. Callie tells her to be a grown-up and not be scared because she needs to have her berries razzed.

The return of the Plastics Posse

Y’all. Plastics Posse is back (RIP Mark Sloan; may your towel never be forgotten). And it’s nice to see Jackson back in action post-baby, because he’s taking Ben around to be an encouraging presence in plastics patients’ lives. What makes this even more interesting is that it was Ben who completely lost his mind when his brother admitted that he’s always identified as a woman, not a man. Ben is not chill with having a sister, and he’s not chill with the Plastics Posse. Sorry, bro.

Jackson breaks it down to Ben. Change is not just a quick decision—a lot of times, it’s the way that someone has seen themselves for some time. Change is a chance, not a choice. In short, Ben needs to be cool about his sister being transgender because it’s hella rude not to be. Ben finally called his sister because, to quote Izzie Stevens circa 2008, “It’s what Jesus would freakin’ do.”

Bee Gees and medicine

Owen picks up the most unfortunate phone call ever. After the earthquake, a little girl calls in after her mom falls over in the mountains. The woman is clearly in distress, but surprisingly, the biggest cliffhanger in the first 15 minutes is whether or not Owen knows how to transfer a call. Not even kidding; super-intense music and pausing to make a decision happened. I’ve worked in an office, and let me tell you … transferring calls is not easy.

But once they get the call transferred, Owen and Amelia decide that the best course of action for this 11-year-old girl taking care of her mother who is suffocating is to coach her through casually inserting a chest tube in her mom because, like, who hasn’t done one of those before? When he tells her to get a knife, she says, “Oh God, you want me to stick this in her, don’t you?” I don’t know if there’s an Emmy Award for voice work, but if there is, this child should be nominated because this whole storyline is absolutely ridiculous. When the chest tube stops working, they decide to have her do CPR to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive.” I’m not even kidding you—I cannot make this up. Then they lose the call.

Notes for the O.R. Board

  • Meredith calls Alex’s relationship with Izzie a “cancer marriage” and says Ava peed on her couch right in front of Alex. Zing.
  • “He’s not going to be the last man to razz my berries.” —No context, just know that a 75-year-old said this.
  • Eventually the girl on the phone and her mom are rescued, and the little girl looks straight up like the little girl from Missy Elliott’s “Work It” video.
  • Who casually answers their married lover’s cell phone? SERIOUSLY?

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. What do you think it all means? There’s no way that Derek is actually cheating on Meredith, right? I don’t like how that all played out—but then again, I don’t like telling an 11-year-old she should chest-tube her mom (insert shrug emoji). You can’t control everything—you just can’t.

May your streak continue and your phone never go dead when you’re giving your mom CPR to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive.” Until next week.

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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