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Spit shines, 9-irons and 3 more great 'Grey's Anatomy' moments this week

Season 11 | Episode 15 | “I Feel the Earth Move” | Aired Mar 12, 2015

Grey’s Anatomy is fantastic at a good story arc, but it’s kind of nice when it ventures away from the multi-episode stories to whip out some good ol’-fashioned medical cases. That’s where we’re at this week—even though Derek is still gone and Dr. Herman is still blind, we get some Seattle-Grace-Mercy-West-Grey-Sloan-Memorial realness this week. These are the best moments …

No-hitter Grey

Jo, being a totally adorable freak show, has been stalking Meredith. Why? Because Meredith is a bit of a freak show herself—she hasn’t lost a patient since November, which means that you want Meredith in your court. But just as she brings attention to it, Seattle is hit by an earthquake, because why the hell not? Meredith uses her entire body as a shield because she’s an attending now, and that’s just how you do.

Alex and Jo discuss this crazy streak she’s having, and Alex says that she can’t bring it up because if she talks to Jo about it, it’ll jinx her. It was almost enough, because Meredith’s patient coded in his CT scan, but Meredith literally slammed her fist into his chest, and he came back because medicine. But in the middle of the surgery, Jo tells Meredith about the streak and that it started on Nov. 14 … the day Derek left. It’s heavy but, like, go Meredith! Right? Wrong. Because she calls Derek to tell him about her streak and a woman answers the phone and then hangs up. INFIDEL!

Oh, the berries you will razz

How long has it been since we had a nice elevator love scene? Too long. And unfortunately, the latest one is with Dr. Pierce and a nice radiologist named Ethan. The elevator stops in the midst of the earthquake, and there’s some flirting, but Maggie is emotionally hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out. Lady needs some kind of romantic attention because she’s a train wreck. But the real winner in this case is an attractive, spritely woman who is 75 who introduces us to the term “spit-shine his 9-iron.” Just when you think that there’s no way a sweet old lady meant that, you learn that’s exactly what she meant. Bless.

Callie pushes Maggie to talk about her dating life and then about Ethan, and Dr. Pierce essentially mocks his radiology. From what I gather, that’s like being “the help” in hospital terms. I don’t get it either, but it’s how it works. Anyway, Maggie talks about how there’s always been a gap between herself and other people because she’s different and awkward, and I swear, she is one of the most endearing characters this show has ever had. Callie tells her to be a grown-up and not be scared because she needs to have her berries razzed.

The return of the Plastics Posse

Y’all. Plastics Posse is back (RIP Mark Sloan; may your towel never be forgotten). And it’s nice to see Jackson back in action post-baby, because he’s taking Ben around to be an encouraging presence in plastics patients’ lives. What makes this even more interesting is that it was Ben who completely lost his mind when his brother admitted that he’s always identified as a woman, not a man. Ben is not chill with having a sister, and he’s not chill with the Plastics Posse. Sorry, bro.

Jackson breaks it down to Ben. Change is not just a quick decision—a lot of times, it’s the way that someone has seen themselves for some time. Change is a chance, not a choice. In short, Ben needs to be cool about his sister being transgender because it’s hella rude not to be. Ben finally called his sister because, to quote Izzie Stevens circa 2008, “It’s what Jesus would freakin’ do.”

Bee Gees and medicine

Owen picks up the most unfortunate phone call ever. After the earthquake, a little girl calls in after her mom falls over in the mountains. The woman is clearly in distress, but surprisingly, the biggest cliffhanger in the first 15 minutes is whether or not Owen knows how to transfer a call. Not even kidding; super-intense music and pausing to make a decision happened. I’ve worked in an office, and let me tell you … transferring calls is not easy.

But once they get the call transferred, Owen and Amelia decide that the best course of action for this 11-year-old girl taking care of her mother who is suffocating is to coach her through casually inserting a chest tube in her mom because, like, who hasn’t done one of those before? When he tells her to get a knife, she says, “Oh God, you want me to stick this in her, don’t you?” I don’t know if there’s an Emmy Award for voice work, but if there is, this child should be nominated because this whole storyline is absolutely ridiculous. When the chest tube stops working, they decide to have her do CPR to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive.” I’m not even kidding you—I cannot make this up. Then they lose the call.

Notes for the O.R. Board

  • Meredith calls Alex’s relationship with Izzie a “cancer marriage” and says Ava peed on her couch right in front of Alex. Zing.
  • “He’s not going to be the last man to razz my berries.” —No context, just know that a 75-year-old said this.
  • Eventually the girl on the phone and her mom are rescued, and the little girl looks straight up like the little girl from Missy Elliott’s “Work It” video.
  • Who casually answers their married lover’s cell phone? SERIOUSLY?

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. What do you think it all means? There’s no way that Derek is actually cheating on Meredith, right? I don’t like how that all played out—but then again, I don’t like telling an 11-year-old she should chest-tube her mom (insert shrug emoji). You can’t control everything—you just can’t.

May your streak continue and your phone never go dead when you’re giving your mom CPR to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive.” Until next week.

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 8/7C on ABC.