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'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' fan recap: The next 10 seconds

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Kimmy Gets a Job” | Aired Mar 6, 2015

It is day two in New York City for Kimmy Schmidt. Still rocking hot pink pants, a bright-as-hell yellow sweater, and light-up Skechers, Kimmy heads back to the Voorhees’ to get her job back. After very little convincing because Jacqueline Voorhees just has too much on her plate, Kimmy is giving another chance to prove herself. Kimmy’s mission is to pull off superhero-themed birthday party for Buckley and 20 of his friends. The party has to be sheer perfection because Jacqueline’s husband, Julian, will be flying in from London to attend.

Kimmy accepts her mission and heads to Times Square, because that is where New Yorkers shop, to get party supplies. While in Times Square, Kimmy runs into Titus, who is still working the streets as a knock-off Iron Man. Kimmy convinces Titus to turn in his costume and focus on his dream of stardom—after she offers to pay the rent for a couple months. Titus heads back to the shop where he is renting the costume from to turn the costume and collect his security deposit. But the shop owner refuses to gives Titus back is deposit.

Titus will not let this shop owner break him; he rallies all the other Times Square knock-off characters to stand up to the shop owner. Since all the costumes are knock-offs of licensed characters, Titus threatens legal action. Titus and his band of knock-off characters get their security deposits back.

Back at the Voorhees’, Kimmy is baking when she is greeted by Xanthippe Voorhees (Dylan Gelula) and her very drunk friend. It would seem that Jacqueline Voorhees forgot to mention that she has a 15-year-old stepdaughter who is a scary pain in the ass. Kimmy informs Jacqueline that Xanthippe was underage-drinking and needs to be grounded. Jacqueline is terrified of her stepdaughter and orders Kimmy to ground Xanthippe, which of course does not go over well with the teenage girl.

Buckley’s party is in full swing and seems to be going great. However, it would not take a rocket scientist to realize that Jacqueline could care less about Buckley, and is more focused on Julian. When Jacqueline finds out that Julian will not be attending the party, the whole day falls apart.

Kimmy retreats back to her apartment, deflated. She loves to help people, but she just doesn’t know how to help the Voorhees. Jacqueline is nuts, Xanthippe is a bully, and Buckley wants to be a supervillain, not a hero. Have the Voorhees broken Kimmy Schmidt?

Hell to the no! Kimmy, who really has only read two books, realizes that Xanthippe has been lying to her friends about her summer and is using the plot of a Baby-Sitters Club book to make herself seem cool. Kimmy confronts a puzzled Xanthippe and grounds the teen. But watch your back, Kimmy, because Xanthippe means business.

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With Xanthippe handled, Kimmy turns her attention to Jacqueline. Kimmy finds Jacqueline in her room, crying due to the fact that she believes her marriage is falling apart. Kimmy has a little motto: Take everything 10 seconds at a time. If you can make it through the next 10 seconds, just start another 10 seconds.

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Jacqueline loves this motto and actually states that Kimmy is her best friend. After some awkward spooning, it would seem Kimmy still has her job.

Kimmy heads downstairs to start cleaning up, and watches over Buckley, who is currently beating up Titus as a knock-off Iron Man. All in all, Kimmy Schmidt had a good day.

Season one of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is now streaming on Netflix.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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