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'Episodes' fan recap: Abe Lincoln and some guys from the Bible

Season 4 | Episode 8 | “Episode 8” | Aired Mar 8, 2015

The penultimate episode of Episodes‘ fourth season kicks off as Helen tells Sean that she got a call from Matt’s agent saying that the Lincolns offered him a role in The Opposite of Us, glaring pointedly at Beverly. She then tries to run Beverly over with her golf cart—”Almost got me again!” says Beverly after the second attempt; “I know!” says Helen—and Beverly can’t figure out why Helen seems to be angry with her, especially since this is only directed toward her, not Sean. “I’ve always had a way with the lesbians,” says Sean.

Helen isn’t the only one upset with at least one of the Lincolns; still bitter that Sean and Beverly don’t want him to be in their new show, Matt ignores them as he walks into the studio, and later has the cars he bought them taken away. He may be in luck, though; Helen is fond of him and wants to ensure that he finds work again. Her solution is to put him up for Merc’s game show, though Merc won’t have it and accuses Helen of suggesting Matt as payback for the comments he made to Carol about their one-night stand. “I swear on my little swastika tattoo, this is nothing personal,” says Helen.

Matt refuses when his agent proposes the same to him, deciding that he’ll sell his beach house before he works with Merc again. His realtor, Britta (Beth Crosby), lines up a potential buyer, but she won’t tell him who it is and asks that he make himself scarce when this person comes by to check it out.

Elsewhere, Beverly calls Carol’s work line, but Carol fearfully instructs her assistant to stop announcing when Beverly is on the phone, lest Helen grow suspicious of their friendship. Beverly asks Carol if Helen has an issue with her; Carol hastily hangs up when Helen walks in.

Matt, curious to see who is interested in his beach house, lingers when the buyer arrives. (“Oh, well,” he says to an irritated Britta when the doorbell rings.) As it turns out, it’s Stoke (Sam Palladio), one of Matt’s younger Pucks costars, visiting with his realtor (Michael Hyland). Stoke is in complete awe of the house and all that comes with it, including the huge photo of Friends-era Matt: “It’s like a f–king nineties museum! It’s like time stopped in here! My parents had these chairs!” He goads Matt further by wondering about who he would have partied with way back in the day. “Me, Abe Lincoln, and some guys from the Bible!” says Matt, nearly losing it. When the other three mention that Matt had to sell the house and wasn’t simply doing so by choice, he throws them out, effectively sealing his fate with Merc.

Matt and Merc take lunch together, the latter greeting the former with a snarky “How you doin’?” Maintaining fake smiles throughout the whole meal, Matt and Merc mock each other about both getting dumped by Merc’s ex-wife, Jamie (Genevieve O’Reilly), but agree to forge ahead with the show despite the fact that they clearly still hate each other.

Back at the studio, Beverly calls Carol and proposes a hike or a drink; Carol proposes that they meet behind the stage, “where the Dumpsters are.” Here, Carol tells Beverly that Helen thinks she’s in love with her, which Beverly dismisses with a laugh. “Well, you don’t have to say it like that,” says Carol. This dissolves into a debate over whether Carol could be in love with Beverly, which Helen hasn’t even considered (“That’s a bit rude,” says Beverly). Carol argues that this could never be true, and that it’s only plausible that Beverly would have a crush on her and not vice versa. “You’re the one with the lesbian haircut,” says Carol. “You’re the one with the lesbian girlfriend,” says Beverly.

At home that night, Beverly tells Sean that she wants to go clear everything up with Helen, but Sean doesn’t want to risk the well-being of the show: “The last thing you want to do is get between two lesbians, or one and a half lesbians, or whatever Carol is right now.” In the midst of this discussion, a drunken Matt comes by to take the bed he bought them back before bursting into tears over having to work with Merc again: “It’s like going to work for Hitler, except he lives at the end.”

Matt promises to bring the cars back, and the Lincolns reluctantly console him as he sobs onto Beverly’s shoulder (and feels her up). If the preview for next week’s finale is any indication, Matt’s arrangement with Merc will be pretty short-lived.

Stray Observations

  • Merc’s list of potential hosts has improved, as all of them are at least alive this time (except for Gene Rayburn).
  • Matt’s guesses as to who is buying his beach house: Miley Cyrus, Jim Carrey, the Bee Gee who’s still alive, someone who has been back to the future, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Benedict Cumberbatch.
  • Stoke hasn’t read any of the books on which his next three movies are based “’cause there’s, like, three.”
  • Sean, on Carol: “You want her to be in love with you?” Beverly: “It would just be polite!”
  • With the finale next week, I’m most looking forward to finding out what’s up with Myra’s weird pregnancy (or whatever it is).

Episodes airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. ET on Showtime.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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