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'General Hospital' fan recap: Take a closer look

Season 52 | Episodes 230-234 | Aired Mar 2-6, 2015

The custody battle that consumed General Hospital continues this week into its rather underwhelming conclusion. But that doesn’t mean the path it takes isn’t somewhat enjoyable in its ludicrous representation of the American judicial system.

Putting aside the whole “Sonny has jeopardized the safety of all of his scions” idea, it’s comical that the Quartermaine clan is being held up as a beacon of safety. While Monica hasn’t caused the death of any of her offspring, the sheer number of Quartermaine fatalities, as well as Luke’s recent residence in the mansion, doesn’t exactly paint the household as much safer than the Corinthos lair.

But none of that, nor Michael’s own violent past, matters in the long run. While Judge Heller appeared to listen to both sides, the custody battle takes a bizarre turn when Judge Walters assumes control of the proceedings. Alexis raises an eyebrow at the new judge, while Michael remains decidedly calm. Sonny takes the stand and Alexis questions him about Morgan being sent to military school under an assumed name for his protection. Sonny preaches to the court that the danger is in the past; he will do better now, and will make his kids’ safety the truth. Michael seems momentarily swayed, but Judge Walters announces he is ready to review testimony and make a decision.

During recess, Carly realizes Walters is Monica’s boyfriend. Ric confronts Alexis, and when Walters returns, Ric proposes that his involvement is a conflict of interest. Walters, who points out that Ric is Sonny’s brother and Alexis has children with both the defendant and Ric, says the case is full of conflicts. Pretty sure that has no bearing on judicial conflicts, but … Walters makes his decision, awarding Michael custody of Avery. Ric vows to appeal, but Sonny pledges that Michael will never take Avery. Sonny calls Morgan in New York City, ordering him to take Kiki and Avery to his private island. Sonny tells Carly he is protecting Avery, and Carly wonders: From whom? It’s not like Michael actually poses a threat to Avery; he only bruises Sonny’s ego and pride. Nonetheless, when Michael arrives with a court marshal and social worker to pick up Avery, she is not at Sonny’s home.

Unbeknownst to Michael, Avery has spent the day in New York City, joining her half-sister and half-brother at Delia’s memorial service for an undead Ava. Over Silas’ objections, Ava sneaks out of her hospital bed to listen as Delia, Kiki, Morgan, and Silas eulogize her. Kiki and Morgan leave for a walk, while Silas heads back to the hospital to find Ava’s bed empty. In a sweet tribute to Maeve Ryan (of Ryan’s Hope), Delia sings Danny Boy to a delighted Avery. As Delia finishes singing, Ava makes her presence known to her mother. Delia, while elated that her daughter is alive, is angered that Ava let her loved ones grieve. Silas arrives and clues Delia in to his role in the deception. Ava tries to leave with Avery, but both Silas and Delia point out that a life on the run isn’t best for her daughter. Kiki and Morgan narrowly miss Ava at the bar, but when Kiki learns of Sonny’s island plans, she too wonders what is in Avery’s best interests. Silas returns Ava to the hospital, and while Ava believes she must return to Port Charles to be near her family, Silas advises that none of that matters because Ava is dying. Wait … what?

Spinelli, while searching super-secret databases for any sign of Patricia Spencer, takes another shot at pledging his love to his Maxonista. Maxie continues to not exactly deny feelings for Spinelli, but still insist that she is with Nathan. Spinelli pushes the issue, going in for a kiss, which Nathan naturally arrives in time to witness. Maxie swears that Spinelli’s kiss was uninvited (although clearly reciprocated), which infuriates Nathan. Spinelli is saved from a beating by his computer alerting him to a lead on Patricia’s whereabouts, so he takes leave to visit Tracy with his new intel.

Tracy is distracted, first by news of Olivia’s pregnancy and Ned’s obsession with “fish wives from Bensonhurst,” then by Michael’s court case, and finally by the events at Luke’s arraignment hearing. Taking a page from the Mike Tyson playbook, Luke dared baiting Scott Baldwin to come closer at the courthouse, then proceeded to take a bite out of his nemesis’ ear. Bobbie sits at Scott’s hospital bedside, trying to convince her ex-beau that Luke needs psychological help, not Pentonville. Luke is transported to Shadybrook Sanitarium in full Hannibal Lecter attire.

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Who else is at Shadybrook? Why, none other than resident crazy fakers Nina and Franco! Of course, during their run-in with Heather it was at Ferncliff, but somewhere along the line they were apparently transferred. Nina is initially aghast at Franco’s LSD fake-out, but softens when she realizes the entire ruse was to ensure they were still together. With some Three’s Company references and Nina barking like a dog, they convince the staff and fellow residents that their sanity is in doubt. Franco nearly slips when he hears of Scott’s attack, but covers by calling Scott his favorite of the Baldwin brothers. Franco slips into Luke’s room and tries to smother the restrained assailant with a pillow. Nina puts a stop to it, which indebts Luke to her. As payback, Luke proposes that the three of them bust out of Shadybrook together.

Sam visits Nikolas in Boston, wondering if Helena clued him in to Jakeson’s actual identity. Nikolas is poised to tell Sam the truth, but is called away to be at Spencer’s bedside. Nikolas has another chance, but Sam tells him that whatever he wants to tell her can wait. Would she be so accommodating if she actually knew the truth?

Finally, Jakeson opts to take Sloan up on his offer of being a Jerome undercover operative in exchange for all charges being dropped against him. The way Jakeson has Sloan detail the entire arrangement makes one wonder if there could be some audio recording going on, but all Jakeson wants to know is how he can explain willingly entering organized crime. That, according to Sloan, is Jakeson’s problem.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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