On Wednesday, in all her pop-country glory, Shania Twain sashayed onto the Good Morning America stage, announced that for the first time in 11 years she’s going on tour, then announced it would be her last. At 49 years old, Shania Twain has released six albums that have sold more than 75 million copies. “It’s the after-party tour. That’s how I see it. It’s a celebration tour for me.”
Clearly, for Shania lovers, it was an emotional roller coaster. Twain’s last three studio albums went to Diamond status in the United States, an almost unheard-of accomplishment for any recording artist. Needless to say, Twain’s accomplishments are a little more than unbelievable: I mean, who else can release the exact same song with both Billy Currington and Mark McGrath, and no one asks a single question about it? Shania Twain, that’s who.
Naturally, when an announcement of this magnitude is dropped, there are a lot of feelings to deal with. The important thing is to process them in an organized and sensible fashion that makes sense to you. We’ve worked to identify those feelings and lay them out in a manner that will help you deal with the rise and fall of Shania’s farewell tour:
1. You initially find out Shania’s going on tour.
You don’t have all the words put together yet. It was pretty unexpected for a casual Wednesday morning, but you let a little smile out, just like Shania would do herself.
2. Immediately, she announces that it will also serve as her FAREWELL TOUR.
Wait, what? This was not discussed. This was not part of the plan. This was supposed to be the day we all partied together, whether that be a “Come On Over!” party or a “Party for Two” kind of party. If we weren’t ready for a surprise tour announcement, then we definitely weren’t ready for a farewell tour announcement.
3. You let yourself grieve.
You step to the bathroom or an alleyway or maybe just to your room and you let our your cry breaths—those choppy whisper-shouts that make you sound like you’re choking on a piece of apple. Shania can’t really be done, right? RIGHT?
4. Pull it together.
Shania wouldn’t let this rattle her, and neither will you. You have a trip to plan. You need to go to wherever Shania is, because if she’s really only performing one last time, she’d better believe that you’re going to be there.
5. The planning stage
You check to see which of the 48 cities she’ll be touring in, and of course, she chose yours. Why wouldn’t she choose yours? You and Shania are close. Like … super-close. Like, “braid each other’s hair and gab about American Idol” close. You wonder if you have the money for front-row seats, but worst-case, you’ll take out a loan or something because you know where you need to be.
6. A poser tries to empathize.
Another one of your friend hears about your excitement and lovingly, yet stupidly, offers to go along to the concert with you. What they don’t understand is that this is not a moment for amateurs. If you’re not “Shania-ready,” you’re not going to be Shania-ready by the time the concert gets here. Sorry.
7. You have your own Shania-readiness tested.
Offended, your friend calls your own Shania Twain fandom into question, and for a minute … you doubt yourself. You have been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift lately. But then you remember the last time “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” came on at your favorite country-infused bar, and how you remembered every dance move. You also remembered the stylized exclamation point in the title. You’re good.
8. You can’t find the words to describe what this farewell tour means to you.
Yes, it’s been a while since you jammed out to the entire Come On Over album, but it doesn’t change your love for Shania. Just thinking about the tour and the music and all the craziness that she’s going to have on set—it’s pretty overwhelming.
9. You Riverdance through the haters.
So instead of putting it into words, you Riverdance your way through an inch of water, past all the haters, to your nearest Internet-accessible device, and refresh the tickets page until the presale opens on March 10. It’s going to be a pretty incredible Year of Shania.
Shania Twain’s “Rock This Country” tour kicks off on June 5 in Seattle. Gavin DeGraw, will accompany and open for her on most dates, with the tour ending on August 23 in Fresno, California. Presale begins March 10, with the public sale following on March 13.
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<p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p>
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