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'Modern Family' fan recap: Technological trouble

Season 6 | Episode 16 | “Connection Lost” | Aired Feb 25, 2015

Modern Family took on uncharted territory this week, paying homage to the technological world with an episode that was shot entirely from the perspective of Claire’s laptop.

The episode starts out with Claire sending Haley an iMessage telling her that she is trapped in the airport in Chicago and dropped her cell phone in the toilet, and she hopes that Haley is not still mad at her. She then FaceTimes with Phil, who answers with one of his usual classic lines: “What’s the best first-person shooter about genetically modified space marines? Halo!” Phil doesn’t know where Luke or Alex are, even though Alex is right behind him in the kitchen. Alex asks Claire to read her college application essay, and they hang up.

Claire rewatches the video she recorded of her fight with Haley, who left pickles and ice cream in the kitchen and didn’t take out the garbage because the smell made her nauseous.

She then calls Jay, who still doesn’t know how to use technology, and she sees that Luke is there getting his hair cut by Gloria. Claire then realizes that she forgot Mitch’s birthday, and she FaceTimes him. He shows her the black wide-brimmed hat that Cam got him. He secretly iMessages Claire, “I look like Yentl, don’t I?” Cam reveals that Haley borrowed Mitch’s powder blue suit for a friend’s wedding, but then gets distracted by the realization that he needs Claire to buy him some sweet-and-salty cheese-and-caramel popcorn. Claire hangs up, saying “Happy birthday, Babs” to Mitch, to which Cam asks what she means.

Claire logs into her fake Facebook profile, complete with a profile picture of Chachi, and sees that Haley changed her status to “got married.” Claire, being who she is, calls everyone and finds out that Haley was with Dylan (Reid Ewing) yesterday, whom she also FaceTimes. She realizes that he’s not the groom—he got a new job holding the “Ca$h for Gold” sign in the streets.

Claire then tries to sign into Haley’s iCloud. She tries the password “password,” but that doesn’t work, so Phil suggests she try Haley’s favorite character from literature, since that’s what he recommended to Haley. It’s “Snoopy,” and Claire is in. She tracks Haley’s phone to Vegas, where she searches the exact location and finds that Haley is outside of a wedding chapel.

Commence the official freak-out.

Phil wants to alert his magician friends in Vegas, “although they are better at making girls disappear than they are at finding them.”

Claire calls back Gloria, who has given Luke a Mohawk that he said “a parent knew about,” so Claire calls Phil again. Phil says that Luke lost a bet, so he made him get a Mohawk. Claire learns that Andy is also in Vegas and that he borrowed Jay’s cufflinks for a wedding.

In the background, the doorbell rings. Phil answers the door and finds a package for Haley—it’s a copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Phil is still skeptical, but Claire wants him to think about everything that happened: “Let’s review: She’s been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous, she left in the middle of the night for a wedding chapel in Vegas, and most suspicious of all, she bought a book.” Phil says Andy’s full name, and Claire realizes that if she got married, Haley is going to be “Haley Bailey.”

Claire looks up Andy Bailey’s arrest record and finds a photo of an arsonist, which she sends to Phil, asking if he thinks it’s the same person. He says not to freak out and reminds her that Gloria is very protective of who she would hire to watch Joe. So Claire calls her, and Gloria reveals that she found Andy at the park chasing some children. Jay enters the call and compares the Haley situation to Claire eloping with “some doofus,” a.k.a. Phil.

Claire needs to listen to some music to match her feelings, so she opens her iTunes Top 25 Most Played, which includes some gems like “Thunder Road,” “Bad Romance,” “Single Ladies,” “Fireball,” and “Break Ya Neck” (bless you, Claire Dunphy).

She calls Mitch, who has since talked himself into liking the hat because he keeps seeing himself on FaceTime and thinking, “Who is that handsome Yentlman?” Before Claire can finish rolling her eyes, Phil sends her a photo that Andy just posted of him and Haley eating a doughnut. This makes Claire call Jay and apologize for eloping. But Jay says that the best thing that could have happened was Claire winding up with Phil, who happened to be in on the call the whole time. Poor Jay.

Finally, with the 22 minutes running out, the girl of the hour calls. Half-asleep, Haley wonders why Claire is frantic. Before she can even answer, everyone sees that Haley is walking into the kitchen in view behind Phil and Alex. Haley has been home all day sleeping. She didn’t get married; she had a Cronut with Andy last night and loved it so much that she joked she wished she could marry it, posting it on Facebook as a joke. Then she left her phone in Andy’s car, and he drove to Vegas with it. And the book was for her boss, who is designing a maternity line and wanted to get inside the mind of pregnant women.

When Haley questions Claire for knowing so much, she pretends that the call is breaking up, then hangs up. Then she opens up Alex’s college essay to read it, gets distracted, sends her a message that she loves the essay, and then, in classic Claire fashion, opens up her Pinterest page.

The episode was witty, snappy, and filled with some of the best one-liners of the season—and possibly the series as a whole. Modern Family, a show known for taking on anything and being groundbreaking while doing so, did it again.

And the show was filled with fun Easter eggs on Claire’s laptop, again proving why Modern Family is one of the most smartly written comedies on television.

Some other amazing one-liners:

“I love cutting boys’ hair. Claire, you should let me cut yours one day.” —Gloria

“I can sense that she’s okay. It’s like we share the same brain.” —Dylan
“Who has it now?” —Alex

“Even if Haley was attracted to him, I would know she would have the decency and the self-control to … oh my God, oh my God, she married Andy.” —Claire

“He’s a man, he’s breathing … maybe this is why she doesn’t talk to me about things.” —Alex

Modern Family airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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