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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: Stakeout shenanigans

Season 5 | Episode 17 | “Kuka’awale” | Aired Feb 27, 201

Tonight’s Hawaii Five-0 marks Daniel Dae Kim’s directorial debut, and boy, did he pick a doozy of an episode. The case of the week consisted of Steve and Danny on a three-day stakeout to find a cop killer. Also, McDanno returned to therapy and there were lots of big-name guest stars. So, first we’ll get the case out of the way, and then we can all fangirl together over the jam-packed McDanno subplot. (It deserves its own section. It was that glorious.)

Case of the week

The episode opens with a thief returning to his getaway car. He shows off the huge diamonds he just stole to his partner-in-crime/girlfriend, and they enjoy a quick makeout sesh before she shoots him in the gut and takes off with the diamonds.

The owner of the jewelry store, Mia Price (Arden Cho, Teen Wolf), says the thief got away with $3 million in diamonds that had just been delivered last week. And the security guard, an ex-cop, had been killed in the process. Around the corner from the crime scene, Kono finds a pool of blood, but no bad guy. The thief got away.

The thieves are Jacob Anders and Emma Mills. Five-0 tracks Emma to her apartment, but Anders—the cop killer—is the priority. Anders will find Emma to enact his revenge, so they just have to be waiting for him when he does. Steve and Danny head to an apartment across the street, whose owner is conveniently out of town, to wait. (We’ll get into more detail about their stakeout shenanigans later.)

The boys hear Emma make a phone call to another partner who says their deal is still on. Danny recognizes the voice from an infomercial: It’s Barry Burns (Jon Lovitz), who runs a gold-for-cash business. He’s the fence.

Chin and Lou pick up Barry, and warn him that if Emma will shoot her own boyfriend, she will definitely shoot him. They force him to reschedule their meet-up to give the team more time. Barry is surprised Emma was willing to mess with Ivanovich.

Jon Lovitz on Hawaii Five-0

It turns out Anders is actually Radomir Ivanovich, ex-Serbian special forces and all-around bad guy. And he’s currently performing surgery on himself and thinking of vengeance. Later, he robs a gun store (the one from “Hookman”) and takes enough for a small army.

After Barry postpones the meet-up with Emma again, Emma calls her other partner—Mia from the jewelry store. Oh, they’re lovers, too.

The next day, McDanno hears screaming in another apartment. They rush to help but realize they’ve been played. By the time they make it to Emma’s apartment, the diamonds are gone and she’s dead. But Anders isn’t done yet.

When Kono goes to the jewelry store to pick up Mia, Anders, decked out in full SWAT gear, starts blowing up police cars and shooting cops. Luckily, Kono and Mia hide in the safe, and Kono takes Anders out.

McDanno subplot

Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams on Hawaii Five-0

In a CBS interview, DDK called this “an episode-long version of a cargument in an apartment,” and he wasn’t wrong. Steve and Danny are back in therapy (YES!), since they haven’t made much progress. Their therapist gives them boyfriend relationship homework to complete before their next session (!).

When they get to the stakeout, the bickering continues. Danny gets jumpy at the apartment owner’s cat, Mr. Pickles. They argue about whether cats are devil spawn or “adorable ninjas,” in the words of one Steven McGarrett.

Then the neighbor, Ruth Tennenbaum (eight-time Emmy winner Cloris Leachman) stops by with cookies. Steve and Danny explain that they are partners, and ask her not to tell anyone; they don’t want the whole building finding out. Ruth says not to worry; SHE SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE.

Cloris Leachman on Hawaii Five-0

Steve panics. Oh no, they’re not gay, they’re cops. Ooooookay, say Ruth. Steve appeases Ruth by promising to send someone to help find her missing fern. And after she leaves, Danny says, “I would have gone with the gay thing, to keep our cover.” ME TOO, DANNY, ME TOO. (You have to understand, as a shipper, this is like crack to us. We THRIVE on situations like these. The fact that this entire section isn’t in capslock is a testament to my restraint.)

Anyway, Danny is very invested in their therapy homework. He tells Steve he shows signs of relationship dominance (and terrible table manners). Then the boys have another visitor: Ricky from downstairs. He’s there to feed the cat, and also to get the HUGE bag of weed he stored in the cupboard. He’s a drug dealer and offers to sell the boys a variety of illegal substances, which they politely decline.

The next day, Danny and Steve are dozing on the couch together (seriously, guys, this happened), and Danny says he’s upset Steve won’t work on their homework and talk about his feelings. Steve admits that he used to really love playing the guitar. He was supposed to perform in the 10th-grade talent show, but he couldn’t do it. It was more than stage fright; he felt too vulnerable, and he never played again. In Steve’s family, showing emotion was like showing weakness. Danny hoped that after everything they’ve been through together, Steve could at least open up to him.

But during all of this sharing, Steve realizes that Mr. Pickles escaped out the window. The solution? Call the drug dealer. (“You called the drug dealer to find Mr. Pickles?” is potentially one of the best lines ever uttered on this show.) Ricky finds Mr. Pickles, but the boys tells him they’re cops. They force him to give up all of his suppliers to avoid jail time.

During all of this, Jerry made friends with Ruth when he tried to find her fern. She was just lonely and needed someone. She has lunch with the gang, and she’s still confused about McDanno (SAME).

Before the boys head off to therapy, Danny got Steve a gift: a guitar. (He wants Steve to serenade him.) And this time, Steve lets Danny drive. Progress, people.

What did you think about the DDK-directed episode? Were other McDanno shippers as happy as I was? Anyone planning on catching up on Netflix this weekend?

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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