EW Community TV Show Episode Guides and Recaps from EW's Community


'New Girl' fan recap: Itsy, bitsy spider

Season 4 | Episode 17 | “Spiderhunt” | Aired Feb 24, 2015

I hope New Girl explores Schmidt’s other phobias, because his fear of spiders resulted in a plethora of one-liners that had me choking on my smelly movie theater popcorn. Who knew arachnophobia could be so funny? Couple that with Nick and Jess’ lost in translation moment, and you’ve got yourself a hilarious sitcom. Well done, Liz Meriwether. Well done.

Before Schmidt loses it over an eight-legged nuisance, he enlists Nick to make his special sauce for dinner. It’s the one thing Miller men know how to cook—and has nothing to do with the fact that the entire recipe probably reads, “Empty contents of refrigerator and cupboard into a large pot. Use the special wooden spoon and never stop stirring.” Schmidt really wants to impress Fawn, and Nick’s sauce is a legit win.

Sadly, Cece will not be joining the party, because she’s in love with Schmidt and can’t stand to see him with Fawn. Winston is the only one who knows, and she has sworn him to secrecy. He promises to do his best, but we all know that “smooth” is not an adjective you would choose to describe our cat-loving friend. When he hears that Jess has guilt-tripped Cece into coming over, he folds like a sweater. Using blatant context clues from Winston’s stuttering explanations, Jess correctly assumes that Cece likes someone in the loft.

While Schmidt sets the table for fondue, Jess swats a spider away and all hell breaks loose. He becomes a nervous wreck, convinced that spiders are crawling all over him. Knowing Fawn would not consider this an attractive trait, Jess appoints three spider-hunting teams.

Jess: Our strategy is to find the spider, kill the spider, and mount its head on the roof so all the other spiders know.

Nick mentions to Winston that Cece has been obsessed with installing a popcorn machine at the bar. Schmidt helps Coach compose an email to the pub-crawl girl. And Jess uses best-friend persuasions to make Cece spill her guts about her crush. Cece swears it isn’t Schmidt and asks Jess to let it go. As if that will ever happen. NEW TEAMS!

Jess trades Cece in for Winston, reminding him that teammates can’t keep secrets. Winston grins and tells Jess that Cece in is love with him. That lie lasts about three seconds before both bust out laughing. When Jess looks over at Cece, who is crying from tasting Nick’s special sauce, she assumes that Cece’s crush is Nick. Jess reels in this disturbing information. Her ex-boyfriend and her best friend? NEW TEAMS!

While Nick continues to stir the abominable contents of his pot, Jess begins to question him about his choices. She genuinely cares for her friend, and therefore attempts to give her blessing. Unfortunately, Nick thinks that Jess is trying to convince him to buy the popcorn machine. A very vulgar conversation ensues. Here are some of Nick’s more horrific statements:

  • My biggest concern is the smell.
  • It’s highly manageable with solvents. I’ve looked into it.
  • The daily wear and tear with all the oil and grease, just cooking in there? You have to really get in and scrub it.
  • It’s enough to make me want to barf. It gets really hot.
  • You have to remind her to clean it if it becomes a problem.
  • I don’t want you sneaking around and cleaning it yourself.

Zooey Deschanel’s facial expressions are priceless. The one thing that kept running through my mind was this article. Thank you for that, Gwyneth Paltrow. NEW TEAMS!

Jess shoves Nick and Cece into her bedroom, piping in music under the door from her “get frisky” playlist. She encourages them to talk it out. An annoyed Nick comes out of the room, wooden spoon in hand, in an act of surrender. He will let Cece bring in a popcorn machine on a trial basis. A sheepish Jess looks at Cece, who finally admits that Schmidt is her crush.

New GirlMeanwhile, in the kitchen, Schmidt spots the spider and attacks it with a frying pan, slamming everything in sight, including Coach’s computer. All 15 email drafts have just been sent to May. Whoopsie! The boys try to console Coach, and when Schmidt chimes in that he needs to go for it, everyone notices that the spider is on Schmidt’s face. He screams through the entire commercial break.

Naturally, Fawn arrives and saves the day by smacking Schmidt in the cheek, rendering the spider useless. After trash-talking his foe, Schmidt toasts Fawn for liking him not in spite of but because of his flaws. Jess grabs Cece’s hand under the table. I laughed when Winston got in on that action. Nick’s special fondue for everyone! (Fawn thinks it tastes like the inside of a bear. And that’s a compliment.)

I love when the whole gang is in a lovey-dovey mood. To quote Schmidt, “In the spider hunt of life, I sure am glad we are a team of six.”

New Girl Notables

Nick: Why did you do that? You know how he gets with spiders. He turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.

Schmidt: This comes from a very real place. It was 1999. American Pie was sweeping the nation. Everyone was doing it with pies. And when I awoke, the granny apple filling had attracted all the spiders.
Jess: Everyone was doing it with pies?
Coach: Y2K was an uncertain time.

Schmidt: I can hear it building its sticky, deadly house. With its ass.

Coach: Do not ask to get on my shoulders. That’s a one time a year thing, and you already used it on Halloween when we were 10-foot tall Ralph Macchio.

Jess: My ex and my best friend? I feel like Brenda when Kelly dated Dylan. Or the other way around.

Nick: It was headed straight for the sauce. Can you imagine how powerful that spider would have become had he entered my sauce?

New Girl airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Fox.

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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