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'Family Guy' fan recap: Chris teaches Peter how to treat a woman

Season 13 | Episode 11 | “Encyclopedia Griffin” | Aired Feb 15, 2015

In the latest episode of Family Guy, Peter and his friends start a detective agency to find lost toys for kids on Spooner Street after they successfully recover Stewie’s stolen bike. Despite the episode name’s tribute to Encyclopedia Brown, the gang names their agency “Big Dicks for Kids.”

Their missions come to a screeching halt when they find the culprit behind most of the neighborhood thievery, thanks to a neighbor’s nanny cam. Turns out, Chris had been sneaking into other people’s homes, stealing materials to make a girlfriend doll. The gang finds the doll in Chris’ closet. She has a volleyball for a head and whiffle-ball bats for legs. “Your kid’s got a walk-in closet?” Cleveland exclaims. “Two of mine need to sleep in the car.”


He names his girlfriend Heather and they become quickly serious. Chris creates an elaborate backstory for their relationship, complete with sexual boundaries and even Heather’s book club.

Concerned, Lois sees the doll as a reflection of her sex life with Peter. “Maybe it’s our fault Chris has such a screwed-up idea of what a relationship is,” she worries. “Let’s be honest, we’re not exactly the model of a healthy marriage.” Lois tells Peter to get rid of it. Peter ignores her, as usual, and Lois gets even angrier when flowers are delivered to the house and they’re for Heather, from Chris, rather than for her.


Lois realizes Chris treats his doll better than Peter treats her. After finding out Heather and Chris have a picnic planned, Lois asks to be invited along so Peter can see what an afternoon romance is like. Peter acts like a child the entire time and drives Lois to her breaking point. That night, she steals the Heather doll out of Chris’s bed in a fit of jealousy.

The next morning, Lois says Heather ended the relationship and encourages Chris to move on. He cries and stuffs his face with Haagen-Dazs under a tree. Brian, Stewie, and Peter could not care less.

Feeling guilty, Lois brings Chris deep into the woods, where she buried the doll after stabbing it, like, 50 times. “I was having a lot of strange feelings.” She apologizes and tells Chris if he treats a real girlfriend like he treated Heather, she’d be very happy. Completely unfazed by his mother’s homicidal tendencies, Chris decides he doesn’t need Heather after all.

In the end, Peter learns his lesson to treat Lois better, and Chris comes home with a dominatrix he met on Craigslist. The dominatrix says hi to Peter, who takes a knee with a football as Lois demands to know how they know each other.

Insult of the week: “Hey, Chris, I see you’re sad and sitting on the remote … sometimes when life’s got you down, you’ve got to stand up for a second, like just for a second.” —Peter to Chris, who is crying after Heather disappears

Cutaway of the day: An apple and an orange talk about how they’re really not all that different. They both cheat in Words With Friends.

Family Guy airs Sundays at 9/8C on Fox.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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