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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: I'm the warlord now

Season 5 | Episode 15 | “E’Imi pono” | Aired Feb 13, 2015

On tonight’s Hawaii Five-0, romance is in the air—well, depending on whom you ask, anyway. We open on A.J. Buckley (CSI: NY, Supernatural)—who is too famous to die in the first five minutes in my opinion—walking sketchily down an alley during Chinese New Year celebrations. When he gets to his car (parked in another dark, sketchy alley), he checks underneath it before getting in. But it turns out he should have checked the backseat instead. He is strangled by someone who was already hiding in his car. (Rookie mistake.)

The next morning, Steve “Too Fancy for a Keurig” McGarrett is French pressing his coffee when Danny storms in, threatening violence and demanding caffeine. A mix-up in the cloud has caused Danny to receive all of Grace’s text messages, and she is texting a boy—a lot. (See, friends, this is why I don’t trust the cloud.)

Danny is looking for subtext in 12-year-olds’ texts about candy. Steve calmly reminds him that it’s Valentine’s Day, but offers to help Danny take the kid out anyway. McDanno does coparenting right, and my inner shipper will need some time to recover. But first, there’s a case to get to.

Steve and Danny

The team heads to the crime scene of our opening murder. The victim is Julius Brennan from California. He was an award-winning documentarian, journalist, and war correspondent. In 2010, he was seriously injured when reporting from the Congo during the genocide, but he hadn’t published anything in the last several years.

At the morgue, Max and Shaw are debating the merits of Valentine’s Day—Max is for, Shaw against—when they find something on the body. Brennan wrote all over his chest. When Steve and Danny come by, Shaw explains that Brennan likely suffered from typographia, an intense compulsion to write. Brennan’s writings don’t make sense, so they could be in some sort of code. And when Kono calls from Brennan’s apartment, he says the walls are covered in writing, too. The team calls in Jerry to try and decipher the writing. (Who needs labs? Five-0 has Jerry!)

The team discovers that Brennan, who had flown to the island on the spur of the moment, had had dinner with a man named Ben Hamilton right before he died. Hamilton worked in the State Department, and they knew each other from their shared time in the Congo.

Chin and Grover go to interview Hamilton on his boat. He tells them Brennan said he was in Hawaii on vacation. Over dinner they caught up, but Brennan was like a different guy. He was distracted, paranoid, and seemed on the verge of a breakdown. But Chin and Grover don’t trust him.

When Jerry reports back about the writing, he tells the team he found a name: Patrice Thomas, a Congolese refugee who appeared in one of Brennan’s documentaries. His family was murdered in the genocide, and he was forced into the army ran by warlord Roko Makoni (Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips). Five-0 tries to talk to Patrice, but they find him OD’d in his apartment, and the scene looks staged.

Patrice sent Brennan images a few days before of a cab belonging to a man who looks exactly like Roko, even though Roko was supposedly killed in an airstrike years ago.

Five-0 figures out that Hamilton’s “State Department” job was a cover for the CIA. Hamilton faked Roko’s death and got him into the U.S. in exchange for blood diamonds. When Kono and Grover confront Hamilton at the pier, he warns them against Roko and then shoots his gas tank, blowing up his boat and himself.

Meanwhile, Steve, Danny, and Chin take a team to find Roko, but after a brief shootout, he steals a car and disappears. They know Roko must have a backup plan to get away, and he does. He drives a cab with C4 in the back to take a family hostage. After shooting the dad, he calls Steve.

Hawaii Five-0

Roko wants a helicopter off the island, but Steve wants to send a doctor to check on the injured man first. Roko says Steve can come check on him himself. When Steve comes to the car, Roko forces him to kneel and tries to explain his reasoning, but Steve knows the truth. Roko is seconds from shooting Steve when he’s shot by Sniper Kono instead. The bomb is defused, and Roko will be sent back to the Congo to pay for his crimes.

As they wrap things up, Danny gets another of Grace’s texts. She’s supposed to be studying with a friend, but instead she’s getting ice cream with the boy from school. The next day, at Steve’s Valentine’s Day barbecue, Grace is bummed. She confesses everything to Danny and feels super guilty. Danny confesses about reading her texts, too, and all is well. Also, Jerry puts the moves on Shaw, after they had a moment at the morgue together in the midst of the case.

Overall, this was a pretty great episode with a solid case and subplot. Hawaii Five-0 has such a problem balancing its characters, but everyone was well represented tonight. We had McDanno moments and Danny and Grace moments; Shaw and Kamekona made appearances as well as the rest of our series regulars, and every member of the team felt relevant and important to the story. So Happy Valentine’s Day—may all your ships become canon!

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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