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'Two and a Half Men' fan recap: Alan gets divorced ... and engaged

Season 12 | Episode 14 | “Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun” | Aired Feb 12, 2015

After last week’s Bolton-graced episode of Two and a Half Men, the series’ penultimate episode was not without a few surprises. With the adoption of Louis finalized, the show is seemingly shifting focus to shape Walden and Alan’s characters and prepare them for some major changes heading into the series finale.

The episode begins with Lyndsey walking into breakfast with Walden and Ms. McMartin, the happy new couple. Ms. McMartin finally officially meets Lyndsey instead of just recognizing her as the “whore” whom Alan went to see when she went psycho and followed him. Alan walks in and notices that he’s about to have breakfast with his current lover, former lover, and husband. This reminds Walden that, now that Louis’ adoption is official, he and Alan can finally get a divorce—much to Alan’s dismay.

While signing the divorce papers, Walden says he wants to give Alan a gift for being such a good friend and basically gives him a wish. Instead of a genie, he has a billionaire. Alan has some trouble deciding what to wish for and asks for Lyndsey’s help. Most of the options he comes up with are surprisingly not over-the-top, and Lyndsey just suggests that he make sure to remain practical.

Sure enough, the next day Lyndsey walks into the garage with Alan and Walden to find a brand-new red Ferrari. Super practical, right? Lyndsey can’t believe Alan had one wish and wasted it on a Ferrari. I’m not sure I would call it a waste, but it sure isn’t practical!

After Lyndsey leaves angrily, Ms. McMartin wisely observes that Alan had the chance to do something for the both of them but instead chose to get something for himself. Ms. McMartin asks Alan to guess what she would want if she had one wish. “To be married to him,” he says, pointing at Walden.

Ms. McMartin laughs it off, but tells Alan that she actually may be looking for a commitment. Alan mulls over proposing to Lyndsey; he’s felt like he should marry her for a few years, and maybe now is the right time.

Walden and Alan make their way to an expensive jewelry store in search of an engagement ring. Walden finally realizes that Alan may be moving out. Walden envisions the year 2030 on his 50th birthday. Everyone is there, including a grown-up Louis, who’s apparently in moon college. Ms. McMartin looks gorgeous, Berta looks like she hasn’t aged a bit, but Alan reminds me of Biff from Back to the Future with his outfit and hairpiece. But soon they all leave, even Louis, who was really just a hologram because he’s calling in from the moon.

Walden wakes from his vision in the jewelry store and begs Alan not to leave. He even offers to give him the house, believing he will die alone, and basically has a panic attack. Back at the house, Alan reassures him that he is Walden’s one constant (Lost reference, anyone?) and that they’ll still always see each other after he gets married. It’s a very sweet brotherly moment between the two.

Walden and Ms. McMartin take Lyndsey out to dinner at a fancy restaurant to cheer her up after the whole Ferrari thing. Much to her surprise, Alan shows up in a fancy suit and bow tie and brings in a violinist to play proposal music. He gets down on one knee and gives a touching speech about how Lyndsey is too good for him.

In the end, he does “the right thing for once” and proposes to Lyndsey Ruth-Ann McElroy. She squeals, “I’m a princess! A pretty, pretty princess!” after seeing the ring. Needless to say, she says yes. After witnessing the beautiful proposal, Walden feigns a proposal to Ms. McMartin, who stops him in his tracks before it gets awkward. Good call!

Afterward, Alan and Walden hang out in the living room talking about the last four years it has been since Charlie died. “It’s been a pretty wacky last four years, huh?” Walden asks. “Yeah, there have been a lot of laughs,” Alan responds. “Imagine how weird it would be without the laughs,” Walden says.

Two and a Half Thoughts:

  1. It looks like the character of Alan Harper has finally grown and is okay with eventually moving out of the house. That being said, it’s finally sinking in that the end is near.
  2. The last scene was very meta, with Alan noting he thought they “were done” after they “lost Charlie” and how awkward it would be without the laugh track. Clever.
  3. I wonder if we’ll see Charlie Sheen in the series finale.

The Two and a Half Men one-hour series finale airs Thursday, Feb. 19, at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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