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'Vanderpump Rules' fan recap: Power rankings, wedding edition

Season 3 | Episode 15 | “For Better or Worse” | Aired Feb 9, 2015

Nothing feels better than doing something really cool for a really cool person. —Tom Sandoval

It’s a good thing that Vanderpump Rules was filming during Scheana’s wedding. Scheana was also super-generous in allowing the cameras in on such a personal affair. In the reality show Olympics, weddings bring out the worst drama in everyone. Since so much has happened since the last power ranking, it’s worth seeing where everyone fares at the wedding. In order from worst to best:

Jax Taylor

“Jax will be Jax,” we always say. Scheming to get women, scheming to break up his friends’ relationships, and protecting his own lies at any cost—that, we can handle. Here, he muses that he identifies with George Clooney, in that he was a playboy for several years before he got married. But therein is the problem; Clooney married a human rights lawyer. “A human rights lawyer?” asks Jax incredulously. “What do they even talk about?” Probably not nose jobs, working out, or texting exes, so I think you are safe, Jax. Do you think Amal Clooney will be insulted when she hears what Jax said about her?

Giggy

On the one hand, he gets out of the house; on the other hand, he has to wear a purple leisure suit. He’s two seconds away from drowning himself in the flower-adorned water fountain.

Carmen

She of the no-last-name, ex-girlfriend of Jax who told him, “You’re 35, grow up.” Jax is slowing playing a long con with her to win her back. The joke is on her, because she ended up going to the wedding with Jax. She looked stunning in her dress, however. I hope she used double-sided tape.

Kristen

We’re all familiar with Kristen’s shenanigans in trying to break up Tom and Ariana. No one wants her at the wedding, but of course Scheana “forgot” to bring Shay’s wedding present from her apartment. Luckily Kristen was the only one she could call to bring it to the resort. Kristen, in return for being a savior, weaseled her way into getting her hair and makeup done, which was only supposed to be for the bridal party.

Katie

Katie got invited to Scheana’s pre-wedding slumber party, but still had to sit in the audience like a plebeian. We’re glad she’s out of Stassi’s ass, but she’s still not sure about Tom. If this show were scripted, her stage directions would mostly say “moping.”

Tom Schwartz

Loyal Vanderpumpers, you know it pains me to put Tom Sandoval so low. His floppy hair and puppy-dog eyes won’t get him out of what he did, which was cheat on Katie in Vegas and then insist he didn’t. He should also know that wearing a white T-shirt to a rehearsal dinner is a busted move. Not only that, but he wore a long, floppy tie to the wedding, looking like a cross between Thomas Jefferson and a street urchin.

James

No, you are not imagining it. James, of the dimpled-chin-professional-DJ-and-British-apology-letter-writer fame, has made some strides. He has decided to call a Truce with Tom Sandoval, and they even have a good talk with how Kristen is still texting Tom Sandoval. He shows a bit of a spine when he confronts Kristen about it, who replies that he can’t expect her to not think about Tom once in a while. I also applaud James for trying to bring back low-cut blouses and dog tags as a new trend. I’m not hating his as much anymore. Maybe in comparison to Kristen, he seems okay.

Vanderpump Rules

Scheana

Scheana has taken her new role as queen bee of the group after the fall of Stassi, and she takes her position seriously. However, she is under the ilk of, “It’s my wedding day, I get exactly what I want right now.” Unpopular opinion: I liked her crop-top wedding gown. It was a hint of trashy, but mostly classy. She treated her bridal party like queens, giving her girls presents and attention. There’s some drama where the music started without her cue, and she almost ran away from the wedding. As you may have guessed, it all worked out. And—I swear, don’t tell anyone this, or I’ll lose my cred—I teared up a bit at their wedding vows. I like how they said “I choose you” instead of “I take you.”

A list of things that were included at Scheana’s wedding were: shot glasses, gumballs, free champagne courtesy of Pandora Vanderpump, and more makeup than a Maybelline factory.

Tom Sandoval

Despite some slippage into Kristen’s evil trap, Sandoval is doing all right. As a groomsman (why him and not the other guys?) he pampered Shay, giving him a beauty day at the salon and a tailored white tuxedo jacket. Sandoval kept the groom 10 minutes behind because he, Sandoval, had to take the time to get ready. Endearing or obnoxious? Maybe both. He really does seem to care for Ariana. So much so that he got his face shaved baby-butt clean. “This will feel great on Ariana’s vagina,” he says at the salon. Hey, at least he’s using the anatomically correct word.

Shay

The elusive Michael Shay has made appearances on all three seasons, but what do we really know about him? He seems laid back, avoids drama, and is deeply in love. He is a friend to everyone and gets invited to all the Vanderpump-sponsored vacations, yet doesn’t pay the price of having to humiliate himself for it. Plus, he just married the woman he loves and got a wedding paid for by Bravo. What could top that? Well, perhaps …

Lisa Vanderpump

Vanderpump Rules

Sorry to say she will always end up on top. She finally borrowed Giggy’s balls to fire Kristen after seven years of unprofessionalism and attitude. That, and her formalwear always out-stuns everyone. She shoots Kristen a trademark glare when they arrive at the wedding: “You can put a lipstick on Kristen, but it’s still a Kristen.”

Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9/8C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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