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'The Musketeers' fan recap: Joan of Arc 2.0

Season 2 | Episode 4 | “Emilie” | Aired Feb 7, 2015

The Musketeers thought all their troubles would be over now that the Cardinal has died. But they quickly learn they probably should have just killed Rochefort while they had the chance.

The Musketeers approach a crowd of people listening to a woman preaching and calling King Phillip of Spain the Antichrist. She says they must attack Spain and take him down in the name of God, but she suddenly collapses during her sermon. The people then notice the Musketeers and start to approach them with their pitchforks and other weapons. The Musketeers explain they are there on the King’s business as they are looking for Emilie of Duras (Emma Lowndes), who turns out to be the preaching woman. She knows that it’s an act of treason to raise any army without the King’s authority, and as she has thousands of supporters across the country, she is seen as a threat. However, Emilie states that God spoke to her again when she fainted. As he is the most pious of the group, Treville decides to send Aramis undercover to investigate this reborn Joan of Arc.

The people are listening to her as unrest against Spain grows. The Spanish ambassador’s men are slaughtered in the streets and he himself is afraid for his own safety. He goes to Rochefort for help, but in typical Rochefort fashion, he’s more concerned about how he can attain the throne with the Queen at his side. The Spanish ambassador knows he must take Rochefort out of the picture in order to guarantee his own safety. He visits the prostitute that Rochefort asks to dress and pretend to be the Queen and pays her to take him out. Unfortunately for her, the next time Rochefort visits her, he figures out this plan and kills her instead.

Back in the palace, we have to put up with the gag-inducing antics of the King and Milady, as she now has full control of the King’s heart. He showers her with gifts, but she won’t give up the necklace that covers those noose marks given to her by Athos all those years ago.

Upon reaching Emilie’s camp, Aramis says to her that he’s deserted the Musketeers. She believes him and tells him that she wants an audience with the King and for Aramis to join her when they march into Madrid. The King has refused to see Emilie despite her threat to the country. (This is slightly contradictory to events in the first season, when Ninon de Larroque was almost burned at the stake simply for having higher learning for women. Either the King is too busy with Milady in his pants, or there seems to be some disconnect here with the writing between seasons.) The Queen decides to take things into her own hands even though her Spanish heritage will make her appear to be a threat. She confides her plan to Constance, and expresses her worry that the King sees her more as a friend than a wife and lover. She is also concerned because Milady knows all sorts of tricks in the bedroom to keep him entertained.

Once at Emilie’s camp, Constance and the Queen fail to stay undercover and are taken to Emilie. Her council (which includes her mother) discusses how to kill the Queen, as Louis needs a proper French wife instead, but Aramis quickly jumps in to defend Anne. The group is given food, drink, and a chance to rest. Later that night, Constance wakes up screaming from dreams of death, very similar to the ones Emilie had. The next day, Emilie decides to release the Queen, as long as she is able to grant her an audience with the King.

Orders are sent to the Spanish ambassador to send him back to Spain with Treville to escort him. However, once he reaches the market, he soon realizes that there’s no carriage waiting for him.

It

D’Artagnan frantically rushes to relay the news, but it’s too late. Milady delivers a deadly blow to the Spanish ambassador (on orders from Rochefort, who tries to blackmail her with her past deeds), but the Musketeers are unaware that she’s the murderer. This is not going to be good for them to have a death like this on their watch.

Under the pretense that she’s allowed to have an audience with the King, Emilie is brought to the palace and immediately arrested for treason and the ambassador’s murder. However, once in her cell, the Musketeers and Constance reveal that they know she’s innocent.

Blunt Athos gets right to the point: “Your visions are from the soup. Not God.” The soup has been laced with drugs placed by Emilie’s own mother. What follows is a long night of drug withdrawals for Emilie. Once she awakens, free from the drug, she feels alone, but Aramis convinces her that she can now redeem herself by taking the true path toward God. When she returns to her people, she tells them that her visions were based on deceit and that they should go home. Her mother, though, wants the glory for herself and is dead set on continuing the charade. However, she is brought down with a stoning.

Rochefort blames Treville for letting Emilie go, and as he is now the King’s right-hand confidant, his influence has become overwhelming. Treville is sent orders that he has been relieved from his command and is no longer the Musketeers’ captain.

I usually don’t endorse marital infidelity, but if the King is going to publicly flaunt Milady as his mistress, then Anne needs to find some happiness too. She doesn’t need to be falling into Rochefort’s hands either, so who better to cheat with than the real father of her own child? We’ve been waiting four episodes for Anne and Aramis to at least acknowledge each other, and they finally give us a kiss!

Is it harder to hate Rochefort or Milady more? Unlike her relationship with the Cardinal, the two don’t want to work together even though they have the same goals in mind. They’re both slimy, deceitful folks who want to take the Musketeers down. Unless something happens soon, each week this pair keeps on winning while the Musketeers keep losing.

The Musketeers airs on Saturdays 9/8C on BBC America.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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