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'Hart of Dixie' fan recap: A triple scheme

Season 4 | Episode 5 | “Bar-Be-Q Burritos″ | Aired Feb 6, 2015

The news of Zoe’s pregnancy on Hart of Dixie has caused Dr. Hart to tailspin into a sea of hormone-induced emotional despair. At first I thought her tears were caused by the fact that everyone in Bluebell seems to have redeemed half-off coupons at the local spray-tan booth. Instead, Zoe has reached her current levels of distress for one reason, and one reason alone—Lavon. No more big kitchen. No more spreads of pastries delivered by magical elves. No more plantation house. Okay, maybe that’s three reasons, but Zoe is distraught that a tiny baby means big changes.

Wade understands that these big changes will cost money. The Rammer Jammer has always been in permanent rotation on the dining agendas of most residents, but now there’s a new comfort food in town. Who can resist a pork-butt burrito, quaintly served from a food truck? Apparently, the citizens of this tiny town are metaphorically and physically starving for a little variety.

The only way to pull people away from the food truck and into the Rammer Jammer is to have a live musical event with a big headliner. It’s a good thing Meatball’s cousin is country superstar Pamela Bailey. Wade makes the call, Meatball finishes his burrito, and an introduction is made. Pamela brushes the invitation off at first, but changes her tune when Wade convinces her that Bluebell’s Whippoorwill B&B is the perfect place to find sanctuary during an exhausting tour. Pamela looks Wade up and down (those jeans were nice) and agrees to give the concert.

Hart of DixieWade isn’t the only one working a deal. Brick convinces Lemon to return to the dating scene by attending a singles hoedown in Mobile that night. She switches her flashy mermaid top for a sensible dress, drives two towns over, and attempts to do-si-do through a barrage of clam chowder–eating, alien-abducting, ficus tree–loving weirdos, right into the arms of Mayor Lavon Hayes. Both complain about the lack of potential love matches before hitting the bar to drown their sorrows with a bottomless glass of whiskey. Lemon lets it slip that if she lived in a place like New York City, should wouldn’t have to worry about running into the love of her life all the time. Lavon smiles, telling her that something has to change between the two of them.

AB is ready to make a change too. She wants go back to nursing school, but she doesn’t have the money. Cricket suggests she sell the houseboat to Wally. There’s just one problem—George lives on that houseboat. After a quick pep talk from Cricket, AB marches over to the floating dwelling and firmly asks George to get his affairs in order (and, thanks to the Truitt brothers, clean the place up a bit) because she has an interested buyer coming by later that night. George is confused by this sudden pending eviction. He invites the Truitts back for a rowdy jug band session. When AB walks up with Wally, he informs them that the brothers will be purchasing the houseboat down the way. Say hello to your new neighbors!

Back at the plantation, Zoe tackles her second batch of baked goods for the day when Wade bursts into the kitchen, clearly outraged that Zoe shut down the Whippoorwill because of bed bugs. Where will Pamela Bailey stay when she comes to town? Enter Lavon. The new owner of a fake bread and breakfast.

Zoe: It’s only one day. Do it for Wade, for the Rammer Jammer, for my unborn child.
Wade: Who we are naming Lavon if it’s a boy or girl.

Lavon gives in to the tiny yet adorably dressed pregnant woman, even when she starts spreading nicknacks around his house. When he grumbles at Pamela’s ridiculous demands (sound machine, cashmere clippers, tiny toothpaste), Zoe reminds him that it’s not good to be alone in the big house. Lavon realizes that Zoe and Wade are planning on moving out. He tries not to cry right along with the emotional basket case sitting across from him, even though he wants to.

Meanwhile, Lemon notices George and AB discussing the houseboat situation like normal adults. When they begin laughing at old stories from the past, Lemon crafts a plan to get the two of them together so she can have Lavon to herself. She convinces Sal to buy AB’s houseboat, but then rent it back to George. Problem solved! Also, she wants her two best friends to get dressed up and hurry over to Fancie’s to test her dinner menu. It isn’t long before George and AB assume that Lemon is trying to cultivate a deeper friendship, but it’s the chocolate cake that reveals the true reason for this tryst.

George: What does Lemon always say about two people sharing chocolate cake? It’s the most intimate thing two people can do other than …
AB: Sex.

It takes a moment, but AB quickly figures out that Lemon is playing matchmaker so she can hone in on Lavon. She confronts Lemon with truth that cuts like a knife: Everything is always about Lemon. George and AB head to the Rammer Jammer, leaving Lemon with tears gleaming in her eyes.

Hart of DixieFortunately, the Rammer Jammer concert is in full swing, thanks to Lavon fixing the mistake he made earlier. After Pamela asked him to sprinkle a few roses on the bed, pour glasses of champagne, and locate some condoms for her romp with a Truitt brother, Lavon loses it. But in the end, all it took was an apology and a story about heartache. Country artists eat that up. The sad moment takes a sweeter turn when Wade admits that he doesn’t want to move. Zoe is totally cool with sticking their kid in the attic (read: it will be a nursery), and Lavon’s smile returns.

Lavon: I’m really good with babies. And you know what they say—it takes a village.
Wade: Or a crazy small town.

Wade, Zoe, and Baby Zade living at Lavon’s with the entire town of Bluebell as babysitters? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hart of Dixie airs Fridays at 8/7C on The CW.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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