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'Law & Order: SVU' fan recap: Say uncle

Season 16 | Episode 13 | “Decaying Morality” | Aired Feb 4, 2015

The last couple episodes of SVU have been especially traumatic for our brave heroes. Rollins revealed that she was raped. We learned that Amaro’s father was abusive. Perhaps tonight’s episode will be sort of a break for everyone?

Nope. Well, no one is personally affected. But a 16-year-old being drugged and raped by her uncle isn’t exactly “Carisi rescues a puppy.” The most we can hope for is that sweet coffee-shop scene between Liv and Rollins in the very beginning. Hey, on SVU that’s pretty much the end of Frozen.

Rollins is in a better place than when we last saw her. Liv is glad. Less glad is the stoned-to-the-gills teenage girl running shrieking out of the pizza parlor down the street. She’s being followed by an employee yelling at her. Liv and Rollins roll up because they’re superheroines, and the girl (Jenna) screams rape. And away we go.

Jenna’s bloodwork comes back positive for a tranquilizing drug. Her parents are rightfully distraught, and dad looks like he wants to kill something. Jenna says that she had a dentist appointment with her Uncle Neil (who is also a dental consultant for the po-po), and afterward went to a friend’s house. She doesn’t know how the clorazepam got in her system, but she does know she was raped in the bathroom of SARS Pizza.

The worker from SARS (I swear that’s what they keep calling it, and I’m never eating there) is being interrogated about the rape. I note, with admiration for SVU’s casting director, that Carisi is just tall enough to loom over the interrogation table like some menacing willow. That’s really going to speed along the confessions.

The suspect, Jerome Jones, says that he was merely trying to help the incapacitated girl in his pizza parlor’s restroom and the police are trying to railroad him again. Again? Yeah, he’s one of the “Prospect Park 3. ” Three young men were accused of gang rape but the case was thrown out due to DNA evidence disintegrating or something. They’re currently suing the NYPD for millions of dollars. This probably has something to do with a tuxedoed Barba (“Barba, Rafael Barba.”) telling Liv and Co. to let Jerome go for lack of evidence. It’s also an unspoken measure to attempt Jerome from adding 0s to his lawsuit.

Jenna’s dad, Phil, doesn’t take the news that his daughter’s alleged rapist was let loose well. His displeasure takes the form of a nail gun and some zip ties. Phil’s attempt to elicit a confession from Jerome goes awry when his captive has an asthma attack and dies. The detectives watch the tape that Phil made of his inadvertent manslaughter, and we learn that he did try to resuscitate Jerome. Didn’t work, doesn’t matter. Phil goes to jail, and there’s still the matter of whether or not Jerome had raped Jenna. Through the magic of CCTV, the detectives realize that Jerome couldn’t have raped her. So who did?

The detectives question Jenna about the rape one more time, and her statement this time is a little different. She recalls that she was sitting down and suddenly leaned back. There was a bright light, and the clanking of a belt buckle and a class ring off the arms of her chair. It’s okay if you just decided to forgo any sort of sedation or pain relief during your next dentist visit just in case he’s a rapist. I did. Yeah, it looks like Uncle Neil drugged and raped his niece. As if the dental profession didn’t have enough of a stigma with that drill thingy.

In further “My uncle the dentist is all kinds of wrong and I’m just going to get false teeth” news, they are able to match Uncle Neil’s DNA to some semen that was found on the inside of Jenna’s sweater. When questioned, he blames that on his dental hygienist, aka Mrs. Uncle Neil. He claims that they had a quickie in the chair right before Jenna’s appointment. This still wouldn’t explain the whole “semen INSIDE her sweater” deal.

An off-screen Alec Baldwin runs a “Demon Dentist” story in his faux New York Post as a favor to Liv. Her hunch pays off and several other victims of Uncle Neil, Demon Dentist, come forward with their own allegations. Despite this, the case isn’t going anywhere unless they can get a confession. A brave Jenna meets with Demon Dentist at an NYC restaurant. The other Mr. Harvey and I ate there once so we totally squeed over a place we’d eaten at being an SVU location shoot. What? Some people golf, we do … whatever squeeing over that sort of thing is called. Yeah, I know: “fangirling.”

Jenna wears a wire and a cleverly hidden GoPro while trying to trick her uncle into admitting he’s the worst. And let me tell you, the GoPro adds 25 pounds, ’cause that is not a pleasant fish-eye lens angle for Uncle Neil, Demon Dentist. He almost slithers out of the trap, but Jenna is smart enough to claim she’s pregnant. Uncle Neil is dumb enough to insist he had a vasectomy. CASE CLOSED, DUMMY.

This isn’t a happy ending. Barba tries to get Jerome’s mom to back Jenna’s dad up on getting off on the murder charge. It’s one of those “SVU leaving you in limbo ’cause they don’t give you her answer” stories. Those drive me crazy.

It’s not a pleasant ending for the Demon Dentist either. Carisi manually crushes his delicate dental fingers while taking his prints. He might need those when he gets out, he thinks. Because I’m sure his practice will be full of patients lining up to be drugged and raped in the next century when he gets out. Rapists are stupid.

Law & Order: SVU airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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