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Just a few times 'Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce' wins at feminism

Season 1 | Episode 11 | “Rule No. 3: Don’t Stand in the Doorway” | Aired Feb 3, 2015

It’s no secret that Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce is all about lady power, but sometimes the feminism can get buried under all the Hermes bags, 27-year-old abs, and Brazilian waxes. It’s still there, but who’s thinking about female empowerment first when you’ve got Will’s cheekbones to consider. (Amirite?!)

Tonight’s episode, while (thankfully) featuring all of those things, made me really see ladies and their friendships, and how they support each other. It made me feel lots of feelings about being in the sisterhood. Marti Nixon is one smart cookie, and is getting it exactly right this week.

This week’s episode is rife with so many feel-good, feminist moments that I felt compelled to bring you the top five, so here you go. In no real order, I present the top five most feminist moments of “Rule No. 3: Don’t Stand in the Doorway.”

Jo puts the mommy mafia in their place

Jo shows the meanie moms what she thinks on Girlfriends

Best line of the night: “If you don’t like it, suck it, ladies,” delivered as Jo raises the double bird to silence the meanie-mom judgment. It was beyond cool for Jo to stand up for Abby when the fundraising committee gang-bullied her. But Jo took it to a whole new level when she turned the shaming back around on them. Jo proclaims that Abby has the right to screw any hot guy she wants to, and I want to make that my new ringtone.

We need more women to stand up to the meanies of the world and refuse to tolerate their judgments about our sexuality. The fear that one person’s sexuality is anybody’s business is a plague among women. Like Jo asked, “What kind of junior-high, mommy-mafia, antifeminist bullsh– is this?” I might need a minute to go look in a mirror.

Phoebe pretty much saves Marco’s organic farming business

Phoebe shows Marco what she

Phoebe is struggling to relate to a man who clearly doesn’t value her hot body and sexy hair flip as much as a little integrity and hard work. She showed him the new Phoebe this week, trotting out Business Barbie to essentially save the farm, showing him she deserves to be taken seriously. Not that you need a pencil skirt to be taken seriously, but Phoebe is trying to evolve, and I think that is an amazing example of female self-awareness.

I have to hand it to Phoebe for taking an awkward kiss and turning it into a moment of real growth. Her character is evolving into a person I’d like to know, not just some silly throwaway who is only good for the weird sex stuff. Good for Phoebe, and good for the GG2D writers for not relying on her sexuality to get her through every encounter with a man.

The slut list

Abby and Jake take Lilly to face her bully, Nate

This made my list not because of its existence (that is decidedly NOT very feminist of those awful girls), but because of all the conversations it sparked. Jake and Abby have a confrontation in which he accuses her of getting all 50 Shades of Abby (in a bad way) and suggests she not take the job at HuffPo (editor at large of “Divorce,” just so you know), because it’s embarrassing for them.

We soon find out, however, that Lilly has put herself on the list, but Jake actually has to the nerve to blame Abby for Lilly’s troubles. Not cool, Jake, and seriously not supportive. The McCarthy gang is summoned to the bully’s house. (By the way, it’s Nate’s daughter, and he and his wife have reunited. More on that later.)

Abby tries to turn it into a teachable moment for the girls, getting all Tina Fey in Mean Girls on them. She tells them to stop calling each other sluts (amen, sister) because it places judgment on another person’s sexuality, and that is wrong in every way. This is sort of the theme of the night, so the takeaway is this: Stop calling other women sluts and hos. It’s destructive.

Delia’s mulling

Delia plays hard to get with Gordon on Girlfriends

I love that Delia forgives Gordon. I think it was the least clichéd thing she could have done in that situation. That decision defied the man-eater persona she’s cultivated all season, and I think it gives her a real heart—and not the tiny, black, Grinch-size one she wants us to imagine.

It is delightfully and appropriately coy when she plays hard to get, and Gordon’s wooing is so charming. But then she ruins it when she refuses to go with him. Essentially, Delia doesn’t go with Gordon because she’s afraid, and that is not what I want from (or for) her. Delia is a female cautionary tale: Sometimes scary things are worth it.

The earthquake party

The girlfriends offer love and support on Girlfriends

Metaphor aside, its always better to suffer natural disasters with a crowd. What started out as a “who’s got it the worst” party turned into the sweetest demonstration of female support and nurturing. It is a moment among the girlfriends that exemplifies what female relationships can be, without all the slut-shaming and critical judgment.

Plus, it also gave us the notion of the “vagine” (pronounced vah-JEEN), not to be confused with the vagina. The vagina is strictly for going to the doctor and having babies, while the the vagine is our magical power, ladies. It is our spirituality, and is pretty much the source of all our awesomeness. It’s sort of the best thing, ever, as you probably already know.

I didn’t get to everything, so here’s a list of things that will probably become much more important later:

  • Frumpkis has another wife: an equestrian from Kentucky. This leads to Jo buying a lacrosse field.

  • Max and Ford’s open arrangement plays out in the most predictable way possible: trust issues.

  • Nate and his wife reconciled, and she apparently knows all about their tragic date and awful sex. And now Jake does too.

  • Jo is a giant Josh Groban fan (okay, that might not become important, but I found it endearing).

  • Will is a good writer, and Abby rewards him with sex.

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce airs Tuesdays at 10/9C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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