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'The Musketeers' fan recap: Everything is blowing up

Season 2 | Episode 3 | “The Good Traitor” | Aired Jan 31, 2015

Despite having all the Musketeers present, this is almost a Musketeer-lite episode, as the focus seems to be on everyone else. A hooded man takes out palace guards, but the story then shifts to Rochefort acting out on his role-playing fantasies.

He gets a prostitute to dress up in clothing similar to the Queen, complete with a crown. Then he tells her to talk to him as the Queen saying that she wants him, which he gladly responds. It’s a little weird and disturbing, and is easily one of the creepiest scenes yet on the show. It gives insight to the character and shows how the writers have made him a completely different type of villain from Capaldi’s Cardinal. No more cape-twirling here!

Several plots are happening simultaneously throughout the episode. The main plot involves Tariq Alaman, (Colin Salmon), formerly a general of the Spanish army and also a Moor. He is now being persecuted by his country and has fled to France. After asking Treville by force for an audience with the King, he reveals that he has a weapon that will be of much interest. Early the next morning, the King is brought out to see Alaman lighting some gunpowder. Everyone seems to be unimpressed until he makes an entire statue blow up. The King immediately wants it as a weapon for France. Alaman will offer the formula and the cipher machine that can translate it—but only if they can rescue his daughter, Samara (Antonia Thomas), who has been kidnapped by the Spanish.

The Spanish ambassador, who once again shows his superb skills at lying, acts as if he has no idea what is going on, even though we see that he’s clearly in on the kidnapping. He tells the King that if he gives Alaman back to the Spanish, it will be seen as a good act of friendship. The thing is, he thinks the French are already in possession of the cipher.

Meanwhile, the Dauphin is sick and cannot breathe properly; not even the physician knows what to do. Medicine doesn’t appear to work, so the last resort is to use leeches. Since he’s just a baby, this probably would lead to death. The Queen is extremely worried, as is Constance, who finds that nobody will listen to her about other methods that could be used. Rochefort is told about the cipher, but he’s concerned more with the baby because he needs to show affection toward the Queen. Aramis is worried as well, but there’s nothing he can do besides make brief eye contact with Anne and pray.

This proves to be a problem, because when a trade for the cipher and Alaman’s daughter is to be made in the market, Aramis gets distracted by a baby’s cry and doesn’t shoot their target as per the original plan. This throws everything out of whack, as an all-out battle happens in the marketplace. Bystanders get killed, D’Artagnan breaks some necks, Samara gets re-kidnapped, and Porthos gets shot AND taken as a hostage. Plus, it turns out that Alaman didn’t even have the cipher to begin with.

Rochefort’s dreams appear to be coming true as he gets to comfort the Queen. He tells her that she needs to be brave, and that just like he was beside her when she came from Spain, he’ll be by her side now. The Queen tells him in confidence that she is worried that King will blame her if the Dauphin dies. The two sit alone together, with Rochefort giving his hand to the Queen for comfort, breaking protocol. He decides to make his move and tells the Queen he loves her. Her startled reaction causes him to add, “… as any subject would love you.” Good save?

It turns out that the cipher has been with Samara this whole time. The Musketeers are furious with Alaman for deceiving them, but since Porthos is being held hostage, they have no choice but to continue to go along with his plan. He’ll turn himself in to the Spanish in hopes that they will give back the pair. Porthos and Samara find themselves talking about racial issues despite the fact that there is an arrow embedded in Porthos’ leg. She reads him poetry from a book that contains the cipher.

The King find himself distracted from all of this by Milady, who worms her way into the palace after she kills a noblewoman for her dress. Her first attempt to gain an audience with the King fails, so she hides in his private chambers until he gives in to her persistence and asks her to dine with him. He casually ignores the fact that his son, the heir to his throne, may be dying. After all, there’s a woman who has his ring down her dress in front of him. He decides to forget about everything else, and the two go for a romp under the table. They are eventually discovered by the Queen herself.

Constance decides to take the baby’s matters in her own hands and takes him to the laundry, where the steam will hopefully clear his lungs. Unfortunately for her, this is seen as kidnapping and she’s arrested. The King sentences her to death until it’s revealed that her actions have saved the baby. Everyone is thrilled—including Aramis, who thanks God for saving HIS son.

Meanwhile, the Musketeers are able to trade Alaman and get back Samara and Porthos, though the cipher remains with the Spanish. They are about to execute one last rescue attempt when Alaman, seeing that all is about to be lost, tricks his captor and blows up everything, causing himself to be killed and the formula destroyed. However, this means that the Spanish do not have it either, so it should be seen as a positive thing. Not according to the King who feels that the Musketeers have now failed him yet again … while Rochefort’s loyalty continues to win him over.

The King is just a spoiled brat who needs to be slapped, and I’m sure Anne/Aramis shippers will be rooting for them instead. Rochefort and Milady need to get together, as their scheming ways would suit each other well. There wasn’t much humor in this week’s episode±so here’s hoping it returns next week.

The Musketeers airs on Saturdays 9/8C on BBC America.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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