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'General Hospital' fan recap: Corpse of confusion

Season 51 | Episodes 205-209 | Aired Jan 26-30, 2015

It’s probably fair to say that at the end of Friday’s episodes, General Hospital viewers across the country let out a collective “What the … ?” As we all sit back, scratch our heads, and try to piece together the Fluke saga of the past year, there seems to be a looming question that we are all asking. Is it possible that Fluke is Luke?

It’s without question that Luke and Scott Baldwin were both in Miscavige. After their rescue is when Luke began to act Fluke-y. Is it possible that Fluke has been Luke all along under some sort of Helena Cassadine mind control? Friday’s reveal clearly put the nail in the “empty coffin of Bill Eckert” theory, didn’t it? And nobody has ever seen Fluke and Luke in the same location besides Fluke and Luke. So is Fluke just a figment of an altered Luke’s imagination?

The story unraveled as the Spencer family paid respect to the late Ruby Anderson. Dante is at the cemetery with Jordan, being clued in and learning of Bill Eckert’s empty grave. Dante pieces the locked basement pieces together and heads to Elm Street to see if it’s possible his father-in-law is being imprisoned there. Naturally, he tells nobody of his destination. Dante comes across Fluke and handcuffs him to an old (easily broken) wooden railing. As Dante goes to investigate, Fluke sends Officer Falconeri sailing down the basement stairs, rendering him unconscious. A crowbar love tap to the head further keeps Dante from waking.

Fluke rants at Luke about his plans to blow the Haunted Star sky-high with all of his loved ones aboard. Fluke drops an additional bomb in Luke’s lap, planning to also take down his lookalike, Dante, and the Elm Street abode. A bloody Dante finally rouses and groggily makes his way to the chair we’ve all seen Luke tied to for weeks. But Dante does not find Luke. Instead, he finds a comically mummified corpse with a tuft of white hair … presumably Bill Eckert’s missing, 20 years decayed corpse. Has Bill been there the whole time? Is everyone’s head exploding right now?

Speaking of the Haunted Star blowing sky-high … Jakeson skips out on his Kevin Collins appointment when Helena activates him (by saying “You’re active”). Carly meets with not-Kevin (played by stand-in actor Anthony Stark, not actually Iron Man) and learns that despite Jakeson’s memories and claims, the first appointment with Kevin never took place. Sadly, Carly realizes that Jakeson most likely was involved in Faison’s escape and takes his duffel bag of guilt to the PCPD. Ballistics tests confirm that the gun was the one used to shoot Nathan, and Jakeson is arrested at the Haunted Star, where no one is aware that he has planted a bomb, acting on Helena’s orders. As the bomb ticks down toward detonation, Maxie and Lulu are going to have more to worry about than losing their eye candy for the evening.

Sam continues to be the most intuitive private investigator ever. She encounters the missing phoenix figurine at Brad’s and learns it was found on the docks. Upon learning that Jakeson was also discovered on the same dock, she immediately and correctly deduces that Jakeson broke into her apartment and stole it. If only she could see her presumed-dead husband for whom he really is.

At Pentonville, the league of unlikely allies formulates their escape plan. Franco joins the group to make his way to Ferncliff (not Miscavige, as previously assumed) to rescue Nina from Heather. Sonny and Julian take down some guards and steal their uniforms. The twosome rescue Ava from the menacing guard threatening her, and with Franco in tow—but Madeline left behind—they drive off in the prison van under a hail of gunfire. Using the stolen cell phone, Julian places a frantic call to Lucas to warn him of Fluke’s evil intentions, but the phone battery dies before he can get the warning out. Fluke overhears Lucas on the phone and informs Johnny. Johnny and Carlos somehow track the GPS on the dead cell phone and head off to intercept the escaped criminals. On the road to the Haunted Star, headlights appear behind the van and they are run off the road.

Helena spies Nikolas and his New Year’s date Ivy en route to the Haunted Star. Helena delays her grandson, telling him he can absolutely not board the boat. However, in harm’s way of the bomb are Lulu, Maxie, Patrick, Michael, Tracy, Bobbie, Sabrina, Fluke, and the recently cohabitating Lucas and Brad. Historically, the seldom-seen Sabrina and Brad are the most likely casualties should an explosion actually take place.

But … are any viewers focused on anything other than unraveling the convoluted Fluke saga? Do we have our answer? Our will we still find out that it’s Frank Smith-Damian Smith-Anthony Zacharra-Trevor Lansing-etc.—with a lot of plastic surgery?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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