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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: The return of Joe White

Season 5 | Episode 13 | “La Po’ino” | Aired Jan 30, 2015

Joe White is back on Hawaii Five-0! Joe (Terry O’Quinn) is transporting a man in medical quarantine, and Steve meets them at the airport. The patient is Mitch Lange, the first American to contract a new strain of bird flu with an 85 percent mortality rate. Steve is helping Joe and his team transport Lange to receive treatment.

In the car, Joe and Steve catch up. Joe asks about Mary and the team, and they awkwardly skirt around the Wo Fat-shaped elephant in the room. Finally Joe offers to answer all of Steve’s questions. He admits he knew about Doris’ relationship with Wo Fat, but he promised her he would never tell Steve. But now Steve deserves answers. (Side note: Joe seems to know none of the drama from the 100th episode. I feel like that warrants at least an email or something.)

Joe White on Hawaii Five-0Steve asks Joe where Doris is hiding, but despite the answers Joe promised all of six seconds ago, he doesn’t want to tell. Is Steve going to arrest his own mother? But before Steve can answer, Miley Cyrus swings in on a wrecking ball, T-boning the car. (Just kidding, it’s terrorists.)

Men storm out, killing Joe’s team and taking the van with Lange inside. Steve and Joe are trapped in their wrecked car, but Steve manages to free them. He calls Chin to get GPS on the stolen van and takes off on a police motorcycle after the bad guys. Steve finds the van parked in a lot, but it’s empty. The men and Lange are already gone. The only reason they would have taken Lange is to weaponize the virus.

Steve and Joe get stitched up at the hospital, and after Danny rips his husband partner a new one for getting injured again, he gives them an update. Such a well-organized hit must be an act of terrorism. All of the ways off the island are being monitored.

Hawaii Five-0 Back at HQ, Dr. Dyer from the CDC tells Five-0 that their servers were breached and confidential emails were stolen. That’s how the terrorists discovered how and when Lange would be transported. Dr. Dyer explains that the virus is very contagious and spread through direct human contact. Once contracted, the virus kills patients within five days. If Lange doesn’t receive his treatment by the next day, he’ll die.

The best way for terrorists to weaponize Lange’s blood would require a specialized lab, and since there isn’t one nearby, they would have to build their own. But Chin says this is good: Now they can track the purchases of specialized equipment to locate the lab.

And track them they do! A professor from the University of Oahu, Dr. Howard Rennick, just purchased thousands of dollars of medical equipment—and he hasn’t shown up for work in a few days. Lou, Steve, and Joe go to the doctor’s house, and we immediately jump into a shootout. Joe sneaks in through the back and clears the house. Rennick isn’t there, but his wife is. The guys find her tied up in the closet. She tells them six armed gunmen stormed their house three days ago and took her husband.

Background checks show that all the dead shooters are mercenaries, and they all used to be CIA assets for a man named Michael Carson. Joe knows him—he’s dirty and spent time in prison. Before that, he was in charge of a bioware committee. Convenient.

Kono and Danny interview Rennick’s colleague to get a better idea of how the virus could be weaponized. She explains that the easiest way would be to turn the virus into a powder; they would just need a delivery system. But she warns them that this strain of bird flu would decimate the world’s population. Finding out the distribution system is the only way to stop the virus from spreading.

Meanwhile, our bad guy Carson is taking the virus out for a test drive. He’s “interviewing” a man, but instead locks him in a room with bees pouring out of the vents. He’s stung all over and immediately starts gasping for air. Looks like we just found our delivery system.

Hawaii Five-0Luckily, the team isn’t far behind. They figure out about the bees, too, because of science and stuff. And since bee sales are monitored on the island, Five-0 is able to quickly find out where the bees are—and therefore where our bad guys are, too. They arrive at the makeshift lab armed with guns and gas masks. There’s another shootout (a particularly long one). All of the mercenaries are killed except for Carson and another man, who get away with the truck full of infected bees.

Joe goes after them, and he and Carson fight in the back of the moving truck before Joe finally takes out the driver. Unfortunately, a box of bees got loose in the van in the process. Joe has to neutralize the threat, so he drives the truck directly into the ocean.

Don’t worry! He’s fine! (He’s a SEAL, duh.) Joe pops out of the water a split second before Steve jumps in to rescue him. Lange is rescued and given a cure, and Joe is ordered into quarantine for three weeks for his troubles.

When Steve stops by to visit Joe, he learns that Doris missed her last check-in with her handlers. Steve says someone (*cough* Joe! *cough*) probably tipped her off so she could go into hiding. Joe is upset that Steve still doesn’t seem to trust him, and he promises that once his quarantine is over, they are going to find Doris—together.

Does Steve trust him? Steve begrudgingly says yes, but when he goes outside to meet Danny, his partner has tapped into the camera in Joe’s room. Turns out Steve lied.

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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