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'Backstrom' fan recap: Some men just want to watch the world burn

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Bella” | Aired Jan 29, 2015

This week, Backstrom battles arsonists, thieves, and How to Get Away With Murder‘s midseason premiere.

Last episode, we met Lt. Everett Backstrom, a jerk with a nose for sniffing out bad guys and a mouth for saying racist stuff. At the end of the show’s premiere, Backstrom was given the all-clear to return to Portland’s Special Cases Unit full time. For his first official job back, he and the rest of his team are tasked with hunting down an arsonist who’s been plaguing Portland’s nicer neighborhoods.

As the episode opens, we see our trusty hero smoking a stogie in front of a smoldering residence. A young boy asks, “Are you gonna catch the bad man who burned down my house?” Backstrom tells the kid to back off, and another urban youth loses his faith in the police. Backstrom’s partner, Gravely, shows up and informs the detective that the crime has been upgraded to attempted murder, because there were people inside the house when it was torched.

They police are in luck, however: An arson investigator from the fire department wants to help. Or just spread the blame around, depending on whether you subscribe to Backstrom’s misanthropic worldview or not. He says the arson expert is suspicious, because of course he does.

Inside the burned remains of the house, he announces that more than one crime has been committed here. (He also finds a bottle of vodka and helps himself.) His theory: Firefighters are setting fires so they can cherry-pick the remains. Did I mention Backstrom hates firefighters?

Backstrom Season 1 Episode 2

Back outside, the two partners run into a couple of firefighters (who look suspiciously like the models who pose as firefighters on sexy calendars, and not actually like real firefighters at all). These guys are the D’Agostino brothers (Eddie McClintock and Matt Battaglia), and they and Backstrom have some beef. Apparently, they all grew up together, and the brothers teased baby Backstrom mercilessly and stole a beloved item from him (more on that later).

At the office, the team is split on whether they should be looking for arsonists or thieves (or arsonist-thieves, in Backstrom’s case). Niedermayer and Gravely stick with the arson idea, while you-know-who continues to let his irrational hatred of firefighters cloud his judgment. Nadia points out that their case fits the pattern of an arsonist known as the “Green Flame” (so named because the chemicals used to start the fires burn green).

Back at Backstrom’s apartment, the detective asks his roommate/interior decorator, Valentine (Thomas Dekker), for help locating items that were reported destroyed on the arson insurance forms. Valentine, who happens to specialize in procuring certain items (aka stealing), says he might know a guy.

Next on Backstrom’s list of unlawful search and seizure techniques: He persuades Nadia to forge a warrant so he can get inside the firehouse. He and Almond check out where the enemy lives, and find a dead canary hanging in a firefighter’s locker. It’s a threat: Dead canaries don’t sing, and Backstrom realizes that one of the firefighters must know who’s been stealing from burned homes. His suspect, Dabkey (David Carzell), confirms the theory.

Meanwhile, Valentine does know a guy! He heard that one of the items supposedly destroyed in the fire, a watch, wound up at an antiques dealer. Valentine doesn’t want to blow his cover as a police informant, so he brings Niedermayer along to the store instead of Backstrom. He also brings Niedermayer because he wants to jump his bones. Niedermayer’s like, “No, thanks,” but he does confiscate the watch and place it into evidence.

At the police station, the arson expert informs Gravely that the Green Flame may also have been active in Seattle, but she can’t tell for sure: The arsonist has switched to a different method of starting the fire, from lighting a flair to botching a fuse (which is the more sophisticated way to commit a felony).

Backstrom Season 1 Episode 2 photo. Backstrom continues to despise firefighters. Liane Hentscher/FOX

Watch in hand, Backstrom heads to the fire station, where he meets the D’Agostino brothers once again. They reminisce cheerfully about that time they threw baby Backstrom off a bridge, and he responds by planting the watch on younger brother Sam (McClintock) and then arresting him. We also learn that the item the brothers stole from Backstrom was something called “Bella,” though the thing is left pretty vague. (I guess someone in the writers’ room has been watching Citizen Kane.) During Sam’s interrogation, the detective brings up the brothers’ old rivalry over a girl to turn them against each other. It seems to work.

Until it doesn’t. The next day (after a brief episode in which some EMTs—who are in league with the firefighters—defibrillate Backstrom while he’s conscious and then dump him on the side of the road), the lieutenant returns to the firehouse, only to find the brothers reconciled. They confess (basically out of nowhere) that they have indeed been stealing from the houses, but they haven’t been setting the fires (they have standards). They also reveal Bella’s location: a shed in Backstrom’s hometown.

Still on the hunt for the arsonist, Backstrom meets Gravely and Moto at a nice suburban house. Who should be parked outside breathing heavily but … the arson expert! Turns out, Nadia realized that she’d been slipping them false information (in fact, all the fires in Seattle and Portland had been started the same way, with flares), and Gravely did the math. She asks if Backstrom wants to make the arrest, but he says it’s all hers. What a sweetheart. Isn’t it a little early in the season to be humanizing this guy?

At the end of the episode, Backstrom and Valentine arrive at the shed where the D’Agostinos hid Bella. And—drumroll please—Bella is a kite! A big kite in the shape of a whale that Backstrom made himself as a kid. The friends frolic with Bella in a park, and it is so corny. Roll credits.

Backstrom airs Thursdays at 9/C on Fox.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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