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7 ways divorce is delightful, according to 'Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce'

Season 1 | Episode 9 | “Rule #32: F- You, Rob Frumpkis!” | Aired Jan 27, 2015

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce makes divorce seem awesome. In fact, to use Abby’s words, “It’s delightful.” In the real world, we all know divorce is awful, but it sure is fun to let GG2D convince me otherwise. This week seems particularly persuasive, and the ladies seem to be having more fun the more divorced they get.

Here are just a few reasons tonight’s episode of Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce makes divorce seem really hard to resist.

The Freedom


Abby says it over and over: Freedom is the best part of divorce. Apparently divorce frees you up from all of life’s responsibilities. For one, you never have to know where your children are, or even worry about what they’re up to, for that matter. Phoebe loses her children in the farmers’ market, and it’s just no big. She looks for them briefly, finds them consuming nightshade vegetables (whatever they are) under the tent of the hunky—and incredulous—farmer, Marco, and they are off again. Don’t call Child Protective Services, folks. It’s okay … she’s divorced.

The Anger


Anger, in the GG2D universe, is sexy and makes you say all sorts of clever and biting things with very little repercussion. Jo has been creeping up toward favorite-girlfriend status since last week, but her expletive-filled exchange with Frumpkis cemented her No. 1 spot. It’s funny because it’s mean, and they deserve it, and we’re too chicken to really say those things to our husbands. Jo’s exchange with the horrible-sounding Frumpkis reads quirky and unrestrained, and makes getting divorced seem like just the thing my sense of humor needs.

The Sexthesex

Oh so much sex, people. Being divorced is like a sonic wave that Abby emits into the universe, which calls to her all the hunky men looking for a rebound. Will covets Abby like she’s the last piece of chicken in the bucket, and that sex scene tonight gave me some tingly feelings. However, it bears mentioning that the sex with Will might not be entirely free, since he is essentially trading it for notes on his book. Hot sex is hot sex, even if there are strings, I guess.

The Dating

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Which, in this episode at least, is far different from the aforementioned sex. Abby’s disaster date roundup was charming, and legitimately made me miss first dates. Call me crazy, but all that uncertainty and weirdness looked endearing and interesting. Even Jo got to reap the rewards with Doug, who wasn’t as terrible-seeming as Abby and Jo made out.

Married People Suck

As our only example of a still-together couple, Ford and Max are doing a terrible job repping all the married folks. If staying married looks anything like what these two dolts are doing, then I need to stop here and Google divorce attorneys immediately. Ford wants them to swing, Max wants them to settle down, and I just want them to go away. The most interesting moment of their whole bit is when Max is doing his own thing with the young cutie at the bar. Get divorced, already.

The Extended Friend Time


Just like the divorced ladies of GG2D don’t have to really worry their pretty little heads about who’s watching their children, they don’t have to worry about actually going to their jobs. Divorce frees you up for so many daytime activities with the ladies. Abby’s dating disasters mostly all took place during the day, and all the coffee dates, waxing dates, wine lunches, and organic marketing doesn’t leave much time to do any real work. This seems slightly counterintuitive to the show’s overarching premise that the women do all the work while the men sit around and wait for their alimony check, but it would be a really boring show if we had to watch Abby stare at her computer screen for an hour.

The Self-Discovery


There is a lot of personal growth happening tonight. Whether it is Jo finding the courage to finally leave Frumpkis, or Phoebe transcending her spoiled-housewife schtick, or even Delia realizing she loves Gordon, divorce is a really cathartic and insightful process. It provides you with a lot of self-awareness, and I, for one, could save a lot in therapy bills if I would just take GG2D‘s advice and get divorced.

Other Benefits

A few more benefits of note about the divorced girlfriends:

  • They always look great. Divorce is excellent for your skin.anigif_mobile_ffe7212b15b2e2bd8bcc81fe5431769a-32

  • The ex-husbands get more charming and attractive the more distance they get from the divorce. Jake was really bringing the dreamy tonight.

  • They are excellent friends. Abby was doling out life advice left and right this week, and some of it was pretty smart.

  • Bitchiness is not really a deal breaker. Abby and Jo’s fight gets brutal, and those ladies don’t pull any punches, but they make up in the sweetest way imaginable.

  • Abby didn’t mind kissing a ferret during her disaster date, and this makes her really cool.

What’s so great about being divorced? What do you think Abby’s article, “Why Aren’t You Divorced Yet?,” is going to say?

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce airs Tuesdays at 10/9C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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