Season 4 | Episode 3 | “Episode Three” | Aired Jan 25, 2015
This week’s Episodes opens with Sean and Beverly at the top of their game: Their pilot has been picked up straight to series, which earned them a spot on the front page of Variety , and Beverly is off to the Golden Globes gifting suite with Matt, as he promised her in exchange for meeting with Andrew Lesley. In typical Episodes fashion, of course, the Lincolns are quickly stripped of this temporary glory by the episode’s end.
Sean tells Beverly that his old writing partner, Tim Whittick (Bruce Mackinnon), wants to have lunch with them—but really just Sean, unless he was using the plural “you” in his email invitation to him. But Beverly has no qualms about missing this meal for her free shopping trip with Matt. Tim, she argues, thinks of her as the Yoko to his and Sean’s Paul and John. He even sneaks “Ono” into his conversations with her, if only masked as “oh, no.”
Up in the executive offices, Helen announces to Carol that Merc wants to pitch a show to the network, which she feels obligated to pick up since Merc got her into the industry in the first place and was hit hard by the Penzel scandal. Asked how awkward it would be to have Merc in for the meeting, Carol tries to brush it off as nothing. Asked how honest she’s being, on a scale of one to 10? “Let’s say two,” says Carol.
Matt’s onset behavior, meanwhile, has somehow gotten worse since his drunken escapades in the season premiere. He can’t remember the six lines he has in the scene he shoots with Morning, and he won’t bother trying to learn them. Beverly, too, has checked out, though Sean suspects that this has something to do with Beverly’s impending visit to the Golden Globes suite. “I have to get there before the good stuff’s gone!” she explains.
Tim drops by the set to pick up Matt for lunch, giving Beverly a phony “oh, no, ” as predicted, upon hearing that she can’t join them. As it turns out, Tim reached out to passive-aggressively accuse the Lincolns of stealing the show he and Sean had cooked up together—We’re Not Them , which bears a striking resemblance to The Opposite of Us —and he has the notes and legal team to back up his claim.
While Sean suffers through lunch, Beverly goes crazy at the Golden Globes gifting suite: “It’s like when the Wizard of Oz turns to color!” she exclaims. She snags every gift offered to her, all for the low, low price of Matt’s endorsement.
Matt brings a few bags’ worth of goodies to Diane, who isn’t pleased that he taught their sons to draw vaginas. Matt, on the other hand, is pretty impressed with his kid’s artwork. “It’s got perspective, it’s got detail … he’s talented!” he says. “I am so putting it on my fridge.”
After working their way through a (free!) bottle of tequila, Matt and the newly single Diane—in a red rubber dress, also courtesy of Matt’s shopping trip—reconnect. They spend a kid-free night together; this is, perhaps, Matt’s most appropriate romantic match of the series thus far (previous conquests include his stalker, Labia; Jamie Lapidus, Merc’s wife; and Dawn, Morning’s “sister”). As for Diane, Matt might be an improvement over her verbally abusive ex-fiancé, but not by much.
Back at the network offices, Merc arrives with a Dutch TV executive (Barry Atsma) whose name he can’t remember, introducing him to Carol and Helen by claiming that he invented them. “Mmm, okay,” they respond, skeptical.
The show they pitch has the potential to be much, much worse than Pucks . The title translates from Dutch to “This is Me and the Box I Am In,” and Merc describes it as Survivor meets Big Brother meets Millionaire meets Survivor again. The rules of the game show are even more confusing than those of Joey Tribbiani’s failed Bamboozled : Contestants start in chairs, are lowered into boxes (“like cells, but with nothing in them”), and get points (“not points , but like points”) with which they can buy basic necessities (toilet paper is already supplied; food comes later) or torment other contestants by subjecting them to bugs or extreme temperatures. Mindful of the box they are in, Helen and Carol pick it up.
Post-pitch meeting, Helen and Carol share a joint and gossip about Carol’s flings with approximately all of her previous employers. Carol flips the conversation around on Helen, asking about her exes; Helen’s type, as it turns out, is Carol. With that, Carol embarks on yet another affair with one of her bosses.
Stray Observations
“Are you dying?” asks Eileen, after Sean and Beverly’s big deal hits the front page of the trades. “A little bit every day,” says Beverly.
Beverly’s unbridled joy at the gifting suite is endlessly funny: “This is very similar to things I’ve made up in my head … suddenly, all the crap you’ve put us through is totally worth it.”
Sean asks Beverly if she can see out of the scratched designer sunglasses she snagged: “Not really, but you’re totally missing the point!” she protests. “Of glasses?” he asks.
·Helen thinks that Myra—who is looking forward to seeing the new exhibit at the Holocaust museum—looks like she smelled the pot she and Carol tried to conceal. “She always looks like she smelled it,” says Carol.
Episodes airs Sunday nights 10:30 p.m. ET on Showtime.
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<p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p>
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