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'Two and a Half Men' fan recap: The foster dads club

Season 12 | Episode 11 | “For Whom the Booty Calls” | Aired Jan 22, 2014

This week’s episode of Two and a Half Men opens with Ms. McMartin (Maggie Lawson) in bed with Alan, which history tells us is usually awkward. Alan is technically cheating on his husband, Walden, to sleep with their social worker, who knows they aren’t really gay. To our surprise, Ms. McMartin admits to liking the time she spends with Alan, even during his uncontrollable, self-deprecating banters.

Alan heads home and clearly tries to seem like he’s playing it cool with Walden, who doesn’t seem to care when Alan mentions he’s wearing the same clothes from the night before. A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, so obviously Alan tells Walden he slept with Ms. McMartin. Walden has a bit of a freak-out, and then the doorbell rings.

It’s Ms. McMartin!”Hey girl, you are social workin’ it!” Alan says. She’s there for a surprise visit, which isn’t really much of a surprise due to Alan’s snooping. She asks how everything is going with Louis, and Walden bombards her with questions about how to best discipline him and asks the age-old question, “How much cheese is too much cheese?” She gives Walden some sage advice about joining a support group for adoptive dads.

With Ms. McMartin’s help, Walden meets up with Rick, Leo, Jack, and Brian for a foster dads’ night away from the spouses. Alan wanted to attend but Walden put the kibosh on it early on. After exchanging some stories about why they chose to adopt, they ask Walden what his deal is and he tells them his wife—his name is Alan—is unable to have kids.

The guys tell Walden the purpose of the group is to support one another and sometimes have some free time away from their significant others. Brian, who just had twins, goes to the meetings just to get some sleep. The foster dads ask Walden what he feels like he needs to get away from and he basically tells them Alan is “all of the wife, none of the sex.” This is nothing new to them; they are married. Walden reveals that he isn’t gay and offers an example of Alan’s constant intrusiveness: He once got a Groupon for two-for-one prostate exams. The guys react with disgust.

Back at the house, Walden can’t hide the fact that he doesn’t want Alan to be a part of his dads’ group. He wants something just for himself, something he doesn’t have to share. He admits to actually having fun with the group—and wants to make sure it’s fun again when the group comes over for a visit.

This starts a yelling match between the two. They are arguing like a truly married couple at this point, and it’s pretty funny given the situation. When the group arrives, they hang out in the living room and Alan walks in slowly. “Don’t worry, I won’t spoil your little party,” he says begrudgingly. While he walks to his room slowly the guys offer him a beer and he bolts right back in—classic Alan. Of course he immediately embarrasses himself by doing the “Wazaaaap!” gag from what feels like centuries ago.

Alan tells the group stories, including about their wedding night and honeymoon, which were spent going nowhere. “The guy has a jet, how hard is it to go to Aruba?” Alan says. “Jamaica!” Jack chimes in, and we’re off to a genuine Beach Boys sing-along! Alan sings the high-pitched parts, “To the Kokomo, we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow!”

All the while, Walden sits, uncomfortable, embarrassed, and not having any fun. He leaves to sulk in the kitchen, where Alan finds him later. They have another yelling match about Alan inserting himself into his group and taking his friends. After overhearing the yelling from the kitchen, the group asks if everything is all right.

Rick says they can help them work through this—that’s what the group is for. He suggests that they role-play as each other, and Walden immediately uses it to attack Alan: “Thank you Walden, for letting me live here rent free. Despite not contributing anything to this household, I ignore even your most basic requests.”

Alan responds by pretending to be Walden and admitting to getting off by making Alan feel bad about himself. Walden gets tired of fighting and asks why they keep doing this. Brian, the sleeper, wakes up from Walden s couch and responds, “‘Cause you love him and he loves you. Also, where am I?” Walden and Alan patch things up and start another Beach Boys a capella with the guys.

Two and a Half Thoughts:

  • It is a bit out of left field that Walden complains about Alan being clingy, especially now that he is spending time with Ms. McMartin. Then again, this is Alan we’re talking about.
  • The foster dads’ group concept was fun to explore, giving Walden a guys’ club sans Alan to relate to was good for his character.
  • Hopefully, there will be fewer Walden freak-outs now that he has more support.

Two and a Half Men airs Thursdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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