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'Hawaii Five-0' recap: Grand theft auto

Season 5 | Episode 12 | “Poina ‘Ole” | Aired Jan 16, 2015

Tonight’s Hawaii Five-0 was full of daddy-daughter moments, sociopaths, McDanno gold, and actually some pretty emotional moments for almost everyone on the team. The episode opens with a family getting ready for their day. Mom is leaving for work, while Dad gets the kids ready for school. On another part of the island, a grandpa (Gregory Itzin) is dropping his grandson off at the bus stop.

Then we see Mom pulling into the parking garage at work. She’s a brain surgeon and is headed in for an emergency surgery—that is, until GRANDPA COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND SHOOTS HER IN THE FACE. WTF.

When the team arrives at the crime scene, they realize the murder of Dr. DuPont was an organized hit. And it doesn’t seem like a coincidence when they find out who her patient was: Paul Delano (Daniel Baldwin), the man who kidnapped Chin and whose brother murdered Chin’s wife, Malia. They think someone didn’t want Delano to survive (besides them).

Daniel Baldwin as Paul DelanoWhen Chin and Steve go to speak to Delano, he is literally laughing about Malia’s murder. The doctor says Delano needs surgery immediately, but seeing as Delano is a terrible human being, they delay him a little.

Delano admits that he’s been playing up his reputation in prison. He’s broke and his empire has crumbled. The only thing keeping him alive is the rumors. Anyone could want him dead. Before he’s carted off to surgery, Delano makes some veiled threats toward Chin, and says he knows where to find him. (Okay, not so veiled.) Bad news: Delano makes a full recovery.

Meanwhile, Lou is interviewing the victim’s husband, Mark (Scandal‘s Brian Letscher). He said his wife has stayed late a few nights working on something for a patient, but he doesn’t know who would want her dead.

Danny and Kono head to the morgue to speak to Max. He tells them that DuPont recently treated another patient from Halawa Correctional, a man who had an inoperable brain tumor. But the man didn’t die of cancer; he was smothered.

The second victim, Mana Tahni, spent most of his life in prison, beginning with a reform school for juvenile offenders when he was 15. Tahni had given DuPont some names to look up, and one of them was the old warden, Walter Russell.

When the team arrives at Russell’s house, they find booby traps everywhere. Lou also finds Russell himself, who manages to get a gun on Lou and take him hostage. He says the lady doctor ruined his life. Lou manages to get the gun from Russell, but when Russell runs, he trips one of his own fatal booby traps. The case would be closed, but Wallace was off his meds and wouldn’t have been capable of the murders. (Also the episode is only half over.)

Kono recovers a recorded conversation between DuPont and Tahni about four boys he went to reform school with. Tahni thought they were murdered. Everyone said the boys escaped, but Tahni saw a guard lead them shackled to the solitary confinement area, and he later overheard a conversation with Wallace about covering up their disappearances.

And that guard was none other than Grandpa from the beginning of the episode, a man named Alex Mackey. Steve thinks the bodies must still be on the grounds, so he organizes a search. Meanwhile, Steve and Danny pick up Mackey at the bus stop. He’s pretty confident until Steve announces the bodies have been found. Mackey left the boys in the closed, solitary confinement area during a heat wave, and he killed Tahni and DuPont to keep the deaths covered up.

On the home front, Lou’s daughter, Samantha, is having nightmares about the time that Nick Jonas kidnapped her. Lou feels helpless, but he tells Samantha that things will get easier eventually. In the meantime, they’ll get through it together.

Uncle Steve and GraceThis episode also brings us our first Uncle Steve/Gracie moment in far too long. Uncle Steve is helping her train for the President’s Physical Fitness Medal. (SPOILER: She gets the medal.) They run and commiserate about Danny together. But then Steve happens to see someone stealing his car. He tells Grace to stay put, and he runs after the perp, but he gets away.

Later, Danny is furious that Steve left Grace alone on a street corner, and he doesn’t feel badly about Steve’s deathtrap of a car, either. Steve gets angry at Danny; he knows what the car means to him. Their bickering continues. Chin wants to know if they’re still going to therapy; I want to know when they’re getting married.

Duke and Pua find Steve’s car, nearly stripped, and Steve is livid. The parts were factory originals and can’t be replaced. But the guy left his tools behind, so he’s probably coming back. Steve orders round-the-clock surveillance until they catch the person responsible. In the best cargument in a while, the boys are bringing out the claws. “Don’t trivialize my suffering,” Steve snaps at Danny.

Steve’s plan works. Duke finds the thief, but it’s just a kid. His mom’s dead, his dad’s in prison, and he’s been living on the street. Steve gets the kid, Nahale, some food and fresh clothes, and he makes a deal with him: If he stays out of trouble and helps Steve get his parts back to rebuild his car, he won’t file charges. Steve, the big softie, even gets Nahale a job with Kamekona. Danny tells Steve, “That’s why I love you, babe.”

If you need me, I’ll be rolling in my shipper feels until our next episode in a couple weeks.

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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