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'Two and a Half Men' recap: The five cats are out of the bag

Season 12 | Episode 10 | “Here I Come, Pants!” | Aired Jan 15, 2014

This week’s episode of Two and a Half Men is a bit heavier than usual. It seemingly starts off where we last left Walden and Laurel: in bed. However, they are not in the hotel anymore. Instead, they are back at Walden’s house, suggesting that they’ve been seeing each other since.

Not only has Walden been seeing a lot of Laurel, but Walden has been “hearing” a lot of them, too. Walden comes downstairs to see Alan, who applauds Walden’s bedroom efforts. Then the doorbell rings. It’s Ms. McMartin!

She explains to the guys that it’s a surprise visit to see how Louis’ home life is holding up. Walden, in his underwear, rushes to try to notify Laurel, who is still upstairs. Before he can get there, Laurel walks downstairs, also not wearing pants—only Walden’s shirt. “You’re cheating on me?! I want half!” Alan futilely tries to continue the act, but the jig is indeed up.

Ms. McMartin, clearly devastated by the lie, says she may have to take Louis away as a result. Walden and Alan try to put up a good fight. They insist that they are great parents, still legally married, love each other, and are best friends. They are just not gay. They say the only thing they are really guilty of is putting on a little show. She mentions that her job is to do what is in the best interest of Louis and leaves angrily.

Later, Louis shows the guys a drawing he made of them as the Justice League. Walden is Batman, Louis is Superman and Alan is Wonder Woman. “I drew it ’cause we’re a team now,” Louis says.

They decide to go to the park, and while Louis is running upstairs to put on shoes, he tells Walden he’s the best dad ever. This hits Walden pretty hard. Berta has a side talk with Alan, telling him that he has to find a way to help Walden keep Louis after everything Walden has done for him.

Alan is able to find Ms. McMartin at a bar because she posted a picture of her bruschetta. A creeped-out Ms. McMartin says this is highly inappropriate but allows him five minutes of her time after he actually offers to pay for her dinner.

Yes, Alan is actually offering to pay for something. He means serious business here, folks. He gushes about what a good guy Walden is, saying he tried everything to adopt a child before marrying Alan as a last resort.

Ms. McMartin explains that she is upset with herself because she gave up everything to devote herself to her career, and that she somehow still screwed up and gave a kid to a fake gay couple. She also mentions that she could lose her job over this, and that would not bode well for the five cats she has to support. As happy hour goes on, she and Alan decide to drown their grief in alcohol. The drunken duo end up at her place about to have sex, but Alan can’t perform.

Back at the house, Alan tells Walden what happened, and Walden freaks out. The next day, Ms. McMartin drops by to reveal her decision. She doesn’t have the heart to say it out loud, but it’s clear to Walden and Alan. They beg her not to do this and reiterate that they are still married, love each other, and are good parents. Walden is very fired up about the fact that the only reason they are not able to keep Louis is that they don’t have sex.

Louis walks into the living room, bags in tow. “I’m ready,” he says, while Walden and Alan look at him in confusion. “Whenever Ms. McMartin comes and the grown-ups start yelling, I get taken away,” he explains. Walden makes sure Louis knows that none of this is his fault—he did nothing wrong, and he’s a great kid. Walden is left crying on the floor as Ms. McMartin and Louis leave.

The door then swings back open. Ms. McMartin says she can’t do it—the whole reason she took this job was to help kids, and no matter how they got to where they are now, this is the best place for Louis. An ecstatic Walden embraces Louis, picks him up, and asks, “Did you grow while you were gone?!”

While Walden and Louis go to unpack his things, Ms. McMartin cries tears of joy. This turns Alan on again, and they end up in bed together—and really having sex this time around.


  • It was great to finally get some backstory on Ms. McMartin, who has been more of a quirky side character until now.
  • Ms. McMartin and Alan getting together caught me by surprise. I thought she would be more of a love interest for Walden.

Two and a Half Men airs Thursdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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