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'The Librarians' recap: Something wicked this way comes

Season 1 | Episode 7 | “And the Rule of Three” | Aired Jan 11, 2015

Tonight, the Librarians go back to high school, where science and magic mix to killing effect. Jenkins’ ancient past returns, and the mysteries of the Library deepen.

It’s the Librarians’ day off, so naturally, they’re all at the Annex pursuing personal projects. Fun times are canceled, though, when the Clippings Book freaks out in a spectacular new way. Something apocalyptic is going on at the Chicago STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics) Fair, also known as Comic Con for science brainiacs. Or, possibly, RAW.

The setup: Magic has infiltrated the science fair, systematically eliminating the top-tier competition and leaving the Librarians to search for the magical among the empirical—like when a baking-soda volcano explodes with real fire and magma.

Cassandra is giddy to be back among her people. More than any of the other Librarians, she understands these kids and their parental pressures. The fair’s sponsor, Lucinda McCabe (Alicia Witt), awkwardly mistakes the crew for the county librarians judging the competition, leaving them free to wander the fair. There’s a short montage of exhibits, from complicated physics equations to detailed models of molecular cloning, where a hands-on Science Mom dominates her embarrassed daughter, Amy’s, exhibit.

JENKINS HAS LEFT THE ANNEX AGAIN. Doesn’t he have to wait, what, an hour or so after his tea? He joins Ezekiel and Cassandra, who have discovered a Newton’s Cradle exhibit that, when activated, harms fair participants. Jenkins posits that magic is bending the laws of physics locally, and advises they look for a coven of magic users in a pattern of three. Cassandra zones in on the trio of Goth hecklers harassing the fair attendees, but they’re more interested in (unsuccessfully) helping Dashiell get a date with brainiac Amy. Meanwhile, down on the fair floor, Amy’s competition just became Lord of the Flies, as a swarm of insects erupts from his mouth.

The Jenkins infodump: Someone has cursed the brainiacs to lose, a bad idea given the Rule of Three, which returns a spell’s karmic debt threefold on the curser. Since the STEM fair curse has multiple victims, its conjurer is due for some major karmic comeuppance. Jenkins tinkers up a device that will locate the focus being used to channel the curse’s magic. First, the Librarians have to cull a suspect pool with the help of someone easily absolved of involvement. Jake taps Dashiell, the thwarted Goth Romeo.

Dashiell despairs over his attempt to cross high school class lines to win the girl of his dreams. In a touching heart-to-heart, Jake quotes the original Goth badass, Lord Byron (I’m gonna need a moment here. Maybe two) to help Dashiell understand that the cliques and personae in high school are just costumes we wear to protect our inner selves. “Don’t let your costume, yours or Amy’s, stop you.” Aw. Christian Kane, you done gone and made me all sniffly.

Dashiell gives Jake the rundown on the soapy science shenanigans—broken relationships, stolen research—the one common denominator being that everyone hates overachieving Amy. Using Jenkin’s doohickey (that’s the scientific term), Jones locates the magic focus in Amy’s cell phone, where a wish-fulfillment spell has been disguised as a brain-trainer app. Jenkins: “Constructionally, it’s witchcraft without all the ‘eye of newt’ nonsense.” Bet it doesn’t work on Android.

Cassandra stages an intervention with Amy, whose mom downloaded the app from a proactive parents’ website. Amy never used it; her wishes aren’t about being smart, they’re about being normal. Sensing a kindred spirit, Amy asks if Cassandra’s parents ever got better about it. Cassandra has to admit they didn’t: “I think the dream they had in their heads was too big for me to carry. I think they loved it more.” Why is everyone on this show determined to make me teary tonight?!

The real culprit: When Lucinda McCabe accidentally stumbles into the Annex, Jenkins is horrified to recognize her. Eve rushes back at his call. Jenkins introduces her to Morgan le Fay, sister of King Arthur and destroyer of Camelot. Morgan calls Jenkins “Galeighus” (Galahad?!). They have history. Eve objects when Jenkins orders her to shoot Morgan because Jenkins doesn’t get to order her to shoot anyone. I like that distinction a lot. When Morgan attacks Jenkins, Eve does shoot her, but to no avail. “Please,” Morgan scoffs. “If shooting me was an option, how do you think I would’ve survived the 19th century? When Tennyson became popular, it was a nightmare.” Ha! Morgan returns to the fair to brag to the Librarians about how she gives magic to mortals to watch them destroy each other, and feeds off the backlash from the Rule of Three.

The plan: Ezekiel has found 27 active users of the app in the website’s code, the Rule of Three, three times over, which means a giant karmic feedback loop is building at the STEM fair. Morgan constructed Amy’s table as a pentagram so the hostility aimed at her would charge the spell. That means The Librarians can use its inscribed legs to form a Faraday Cage around the fair, a container from which energy can’t get in or out, and dissipate the feedback. Using the app, they focus the spell to supercharge the cage. Eve also uses the app to level the field with Morgan and beat the crap out of her. The cage works, but Eve gets blown into the space between seconds, where Morgan is jonesing her biggest power boost ever—which will allow her to hide in any alternate reality and avoid the coming end. Morgan sends Eve back with a message for Jenkins: Noli timere scelerate timeo heros.

The fallout: With Amy disqualified for the dangerous Faraday Cage experiment, the “county librarians” pronounce Leonard of the baking soda volcano the winner of the STEM fair. Back at the Annex, Jenkins is drinking and it’s not tea. He rages at Eve for not killing Morgan. “I am a Guardian,” Eve shouts, “I am not here to kill.” She passes on Morgan’s “love note,” which Jenkins translates: Do not fear the villain, fear the hero. He warns that Eve the end is coming. If she doesn’t learn to fight the war rather than win the battles, none of the Librarians will survive.

Fin.

Quippy Goodness

Jenkins: It’s a brain jar. What else would I put in there?

Jake: I have access to every art portfolio in history. Where else would I be?

Ezekiel: These guys takes science very seriously.
Cassandra: God, yes. Blood on the floor; best mind wins.

Ezekiel: High school is like prison: You find a crew to run with and kick all the other crews down.

Jenkins: I was going to stand around all day waiting for you to call, and then I remembered: I have free will.

Jake: Did she say where they went?
Eve: She said they passed the dynamic something project and then turned behind the blobbity-blah-blah math theory thingie.
Jake: Two lefts, then a right.

Morgan le Fay: You’re a Librarian? Oh, Guardian, sorry. I’ll talk slower.

Cassandra: You wanted another adjective.

Jenkins: She’s the most powerful witch on the planet!
Morgan le Fay: I prefer “sorceress.” “Witch” has too much gender baggage.

The Librarians airs Sunday nights at 8/7C on TNT.

TV Families

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad_223x92']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad_223x92 --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" 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[]; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] = window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] || {}; window.time_dfp.push( function() { time_dfp.defineSlot(window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250'])}); if ( 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] || 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] ) { window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] = {}; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> </div> <div class="article-single__content"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type:</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status:</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--footer articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " 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