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'Two and a Half Men' recap: Rip Van Walden

Season 12 | Episode 9 | “Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey” | Aired Jan 8, 2015

After a nice little break, we’re back with a post-holiday episode of Two and a Half Men! Even though the last episode was great, what with Christmas and the return of Rose, this episode really picks up where Walden left off with Laurel in episode 7. It opens with Walden, Alan, and Louis at the fun zone, where Walden and Laurel first met. Walden is going over the basic safety ground rules with Louis, and the basic “don’t be a creep” rules with Alan, which include not standing at the rock wall looking at women’s butts while they scale it.

Walden panics when he sees Laurel at the corn-dog stand and contemplates avoiding so he doesn’t have to endure an awkward reintroduction after falling asleep instead of sleeping with her. Alan says he can probably help with that and then yells at her, “Laurel! Look who’s here, and awake!” Walden profusely apologizes to her about the incident, and Laurel says shes not mad about it, although she now has him on her phone as “Rip Van Walden.” Their chemistry immediately kicks in, and Walden suggests another play date for Louis and Lilly, which, of course, is an excuse for them to have a “play date” of their own.

The next morning, Alan walks into breakfast wearing a neck brace due to staring at women while standing under the rock wall. Walden then asks Louis if he’s excited for his play date with Lilly. Louis doesn’t seem too thrilled about it and is worried that he will have to share his Legos with her. Walden, like a good dad, is quick to teach Louis that sharing is a good thing and that Louis should do more of it. Louis agrees and shares with them that he has to poop, and also takes one of Alan’s sausage links. “That’s taking! That’s my job in this house!” Alan says.

Alan goes to Herb for help with his neck. Herb gives him an official diagnosis of old age. Herb suggests that Alan exercise more and invites him for a workout at his new gym. Alan says okay and then pulls his pants down for a prostate exam.

Back at the house, Lilly and Louis are passed out on the couch after their play date and Walden is left to continue where he left off with Laurel. While chatting in the living room and chowing down on a tray of Lunchables, Laurel basically asks Walden what’s wrong with him since he’s rich, successful, good looking, yet unattached. Walden admits that he tends to screw up relationships when they start to go well. Either way, the two end up flirting up a storm and end up going upstairs to fool around.

Meanwhile, at a 24-hour gym, Alan and Herb are ogling beautiful women who are just trying to work out. Alan ends up inadvertently creeping on Lyndsey, who actually is sober again and has exchanged booze for exercise. Good for you, Lyndsey! Herb is surprised that he didn’t recognize her and realizes that start looking at faces at the gym. Herb later asks Alan if it would be all right if he asks Lyndsey out since they aren’t together anymore, to which Alan vehemently shuts down after bringing up that Herb married his ex-wife, moved into his house, and just hours earlier gave him a prostate exam. They obviously share way too much already.

In Walden’s room, he and Laurel are getting hot and heavy, but Walden is becoming increasingly worried that the kids will wake up and find them going at it. Laurel, who is obviously more experienced with parenting, says, “If you can’t stop worrying all the time, you’re never going to have sex again.” Walden freaks out and says, “Oh my God. I’m never going to have sex again.” Laurel tells him he’s too used to “single-person sex,” which she compares to having a luxurious meal at a fine restaurant, whereas “parent sex” is like a drive-through: You get in and out and hope you don’t get anything on your shirt. Before they could go any further, Louis wakes up and calls out Walden’s name, putting the kibosh on their night.

The next day, Alan walks into breakfast wearing a Fitbit and doing lame “the beach is that way” jokes. Walden tells him about his night, and Alan suggests that he take Laurel out for a lovely night at a nice hotel so they don’t have to worry about the kids. Alan goes back to the gym and sees Lyndsey again. He tells her about Herb’s crazy idea to ask Lyndsey out, which really angers Lyndsey because he has no right to control who she goes out with. She freaks out on Alan in the middle of the gym and Alan is left embarrassed, as per usual.

Walden and Laurel check into their hotel as Mr. and Mrs. “Aredoingit.” They walk into the room and are excited to be able to walk around without stepping on Legos. Cut to Alan, who is visiting Lyndsey at her house to apologize, but is surprised to find Herb there wearing Alan’s robe. Apparently, in her anger, Lyndsey invited Herb for dinner and Herb couldn’t resist her advances. Back at the hotel, Laurel surprises Walden with a sexy new nighty, and they start making out in bed.

Walden suggests a brilliant plan for next time Louis and Lilly have a play date so Walden and Laurel can end up sleeping together again, but Laurel is kind of “meh” about it. She explains that it’s not about them; it’s about the kids having differences. Walden can’t let it go, while Laurel is clearly trying to leave the subject behind and focus on what’s happening in bed. Laurel tells Walden that Lilly said Louis has a sharing problem, which causes Walden to go on the defense and basically call Lilly a liar and a biter. Apparently, the other parents call her Lillygoat. An angry Laurel mocks Walden’s bed talk and threatens to leave, but they end up having angry sex with each other instead.

Episode Thoughts

  • It’s great to see Laurel back. I was hoping she wouldn’t just be a single-episode fling. She and Walden have great chemistry together.
  • Even though it’s a bit shrouded by Walden and Laurel’s eagerness to have sex, it was great to have them dive into talking about their kids having differences, not to mention how unwaivering they both are about defending their children and how they fail to see their flaws.

Two and a Half Men airs Thursdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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