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'Resurrection' midseason premiere: Don't hold back, Mags!

Season 2 | Episode 10 | “Prophecy” | Aired Jan 4, 2014

Resurrection returned (sorry, we will never get over how awesome that pun is) tonight from its midseason hiatus. Can we all just collectively jump in the air and clap like lunatics because the first wave of shows in a midseason hiatus have returned? Yay!

In last night’s Resurrection, we pick up right where we left off: Jacob leaving with Margaret, Bellamy still sort of sick, and Lucille on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Let’s get to the dirty deets of this episode.

Jacob, where art thou? Henry and Lucille are crapping bricks looking for Jacob, while Fred and Maggie warn Bellamy that Jacob and Mags are missing. Bellamy and crew go out to find Jacob and Mags, and they get a lead about a mysterious wanderer in the woods. This wanderer happened to stop in the bar where Elaine works, disoriented and clearly in need of medical attention. He had a huge tattoo of a tree on his back—right where the audience saw him get struck by lightning in an earlier scene. He kept rambling on about needing to find a little boy, whom we at first believed to be Jacob. Bellamy, Fred, and Henry run into the mysterious man, but they let him go, thinking he is no help to their cause. Fred remembers that there’s a cabin nearby where their mother grew up, and the three musketeers head out to find it. Don’t worry—we were confused too.

Mags’ memories. We finally learn about Margaret’s role in the terrifying flashbacks of Returned being murdered over and over again when she was a child. Her father worked for the Langston family, and he was the unfortunate one tasked with “getting rid” of the Returned factory folk back in the day. There was a haunting flashback where Margaret was in her wedding dress, crying and hiding in her father’s bar, begging to not have to marry one of the young Langston men. Her father wanted a better life for her, so of course he made her do it. Man, that must have been a healthy marriage.

pandawhale.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bellamy and crew catch up to her and Jacob, take an unwilling Jacob away, and confront Margaret about her actions. Mags then goes on to talk about how terrible her marriage was, how she never loved her husband, and—gasp!—how she hates her children. Dang, girl—let it all out! Obviously her emotions had gotten the best of her. She even admitted this later when Fred was about to ship her off to wherever the government sends all the Returned without family or loved ones. How depressing is that, by the way? Not only do the Returned come back from the dead, but if all of their loved ones are gon,e they have to be schlepped off to who knows where to either be put to sleep or become the next secret government experiment (we think).

Anyways, Mags confesses to Fred that when she was a little girl, she discovered how the Returned disappear for good. She saw one of the factory workers console another while they were waiting to be killed for the fourth time. The man told the other to just “let go” and not think about anything. Mags tells Fred that this is what she told Barbara to do, and that’s why she disappeared. She says she couldn’t make herself or Jacob do that, because she loves him too much. Fred feels bad and wants to hide Mags in some cabin in the woods (we just can’t get off this whole horror thing), but she refuses. She is so stubborn!

Jenny. She came back to live with Bellamy, and she knows he’s her brother (remember, Bellamy’s real name is Robert). She went out to lunch with Maggie and Bellamy, where they ran into the mysterious wanderer, who is revealed to be a man named Pastor James. He is Returned from the time when Jenny was alive, and they seem to know each other well. Can we bring Janine back into the picture, please?

Pastor who? The most intriguing storyline (in our opinion) of the series saw no light last night, and we’re going to be honest—it hurt. The show is trying to build the mythology around Bellamy and the crescent moon (is it just us, or does that sound like a children’s fable?), but the audience is loving the unexpectedly delicious drama of Pastor Tom and his psychopathic wife, Janine. Everybody loves a good crazy bitch, and Janine is the Queen B of Arcadia. The highlight of the midseason finale was Janine holding Rachael hostage and getting bashed in the head while Rachael escaped—only to stop at a train track debating whether to kill herself (again). Let’s be honest: There’s no way Rachael killed herself. It’s too good of a story to have Janine go über-crazy with revenge on Rachael, rather than just having Rachael up and die again. Ugh—we could go on and on about this storyline, but we’ll just have to wait until the next episode in hopes that it satisfies our predictions.

Breaking point. Even though Jacob has come back home, Lucy has lost it. Jacob admits to Lucy that he wanted to leave because he didn’t want to cause anyone any more pain. After thinking about his mother, though, he decided he wanted to stay. This breaks Lucy’s heart, as her young son shouldn’t have to be concerned with worries like that. Keeping with the flashback trend, it was revealed that when Jacob was alive (the first time), Lucy was studying to get her master’s degree in biology. She stayed up late studying, then the next day—the day Jacob died—she fell asleep on the couch reading a book. During her midday nap is when Jacob wandered in to the woods and drowned. If this isn’t a platform for having a complete meltdown, we don’t know what is.

Henry comes home and is all good and fine now that Jacob is back from his escapade with Mags, and he doesn’t understand why Lucy is still upset. She tells Henry that having Mags back and his negligence of her manipulative ways has caused all of this drama. Henry gets pissed off and tells Lucy that she shouldn’t blame him for this, since he never blamed her for Jacob drowning all those years ago.

Oprah GIF

Lucy kicks Henry out, then starts to bawl her eyes out. Can a girl catch a break here?

Howl at the moon. The episode ends with Bellamy waking up in the middle of the night and walking to same place where we saw Preacher James get struck by lightning. There’s a shape of a crescent moon burnt into the ground, and when Bellamy looks at it, a vision of hundreds of locusts comes shooting out of the ground and into the sky. The vision disappears, and Preacher James shows up. He knows that Bellamy saw the vision of the locusts and tells him that they both will “heal this sick town,” and that he tried to save Bellamy when he was a baby back in the day. Um, what?

A lot happened in this episode, but it looks like a lot happens in next week’s episode too, considering the trailer reveals that HENRY DIES. Seriously? This has to be a temporary thing, because last time we checked, major spoilers weren’t revealed in promos. We can’t blame ABC, though, as it’s reported that Resurrection is hanging by a thread on being canceled. For the record, we hope that’s not true. We’re itching for more crazy Jeanine, and we want to see if Pastor Tom and Rachael’s baby comes out as a zombie or not.

zombie GIF

We were going to put a baby zombie GIF there, but the Google images of that were straight-up terrifying. Sound off with your thoughts on the midseason premiere and your predictions for next week! Until next time … #FangsOut

xoxo,

Liz and Lindi (TeamTSD)

TV Families

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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