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'Chuck' recap: Battles of the exes

Season 1 | Episode 9 | “Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami” | Aired Nov 19, 2007

Happy New Year, Chucksters! Our favorite nerd brought in the New Year with a kiss … or two … or three. Basically, there’s just a lot of making out. The episode opens with a helpful reminder that in the last episode, Sarah got dumped for Lou, the sandwich girl, and she is secretly really upset about it. But before we delve into the Bartowski Love Triangle, let’s start with the Buy More half of the story.

The news of Charah’s breakup spreads quickly through the Buy More. Sarah stops by, looking appropriately distraught. Alone in the home theater room, Sarah tells Chuck she wants him fake-back, but Chuck says the emotional roller coaster of their “relationship” is too much for him. Okay, but Sarah has to sell the breakup, so she works up some tears and rushes out of the store.

Sarah scares away Lester with her seduction techniques. Lester decides this is his opening. He goes next door to offer Sarah a shoulder to cry on, followed quickly by an invitation to go out sometime. Rather than rejecting him, Sarah scares him away with her eagerness to have a moment of passion on the Wienerlicious counter.

Back at the Buy More, Morgan and Anna also have a moment in the home theater room … or not. When Morgan goes in for a kiss, Anna shuts him down. The next day, Morgan accidentally tells everyone about his humiliating come on. Before long, Morgan is the laughingstock of the entire mall. But then Anna and Morgan actually do have a moment in the home theater room, and Morgan gets his own makeout session. Sorry, ladies, Morgan Grimes is now taken.

Now, back to the Bartowski Love Triangle, which is intertwined with this week’s mission. General Beckman is upset about the Charah breakup too. She thinks Lou’s interest in Chuck is suspicious, and she wants to know everything about Lou before they get too close.

Chuck and Lou make out in the Nerd Herder.Unfortunately, that ship has already sailed, as Lou and Chuck are having a Titanic-style makeout session in the Nerd Herder. And then Lou invites Chuck inside … to make him a sandwich. While in the deli, Chuck flashes on a flier for a party at Club Ares, hosted by Stavros Demitrios, a smuggler—and also Lou’s crazy-jealous ex.

Stavros is the son of a shipping magnate, Yari, and Beckman says they are expecting a volatile package—possibly a weapon. Beckman tells Chuck to get close to Stavros, but Chuck doesn’t want to complicate things with Lou. Too bad. When Lou swings by the store, Chuck tells her he wants to go to Stavros’ club. He wants to make peace with her ex sooner rather than later, and Lou reluctantly agrees.

Chuck heads to Club Ares sporting a terrible guitar pin doubling as a microphone. They meet up with Stavros, but for some reason, Lou doesn’t want to spend her date with her ex. But Chuck insists, and tensions are running high … and they get higher once Sarah barges in. Lou tells Chuck that he’s spending their whole date with their exes instead of her, and she’s leaving.

Chuck wants to go after her, but he flashes on Yari, and Casey orders him to get close. Chuck tosses his pin/mic on Yari’s drink tray. Sarah and Casey get their intel on the package, but Lou is already gone.

Chuck woos Lou back at the deli. Chuck goes to the deli the next day during the lunch rush to apologize, and Lou tells him to take a number. When he finally gets to the counter, there’s some weird sexual tension while Chuck orders a sandwich, and then they’re making up (by making out).

Meanwhile, Sarah and Casey are at the dock, but when they open the shipping container, the only thing inside is a camera. Yari found Chuck’s pin, and he knew they were coming. He orders Stavros to find whoever owned the pin and bring them in.

Casey thinks Lou sold them out to Yari. He shows Chuck a photo of her meeting with Stavros at the docks after their date. Team Chuck heads to the club to see what Lou is up to. As Chuck watches, Stavros passes Lou a crate and starts asking questions about her new boyfriend. When Stavros walks away, Chuck barges out and confronts Lou. Turns out Lou is a meat smuggler. (That is not as dirty as it sounds.) Lou smuggles foreign deli meats through Stavros so they don’t spoil in customs. Angry Lou storms off again as Sarah storms in.

And so does Stavros—with a gun. He throws Charah in a trunk and drives off. And since Chuck left his GPS watch by the smuggled salami, Casey has no way to track them—except for Lou. Posing as an FDA investigator, Casey tells Lou she can avoid jail time for her illegal meats if she gives up Stavros’ dock number.

Over at the dock, Chuck distracts Yari’s henchmen, stalling long enough for Sarah to free herself and for Casey to find them. When Casey and his backup barge in, Sarah and Chuck rush to stop the weapon. Yari is taken out by a sniper (Anthony Ruivivar) as he tries to escape. Their package has been intercepted, and he’s cleaning things up.

By the time Sarah and Casey find the crate, the container inside is counting down. Sarah orders Chuck to leave, but he refuses. With only seconds left on the clock, Sarah grabs Chuck and kisses him … and continues to kiss him. After some solid making out, they realize that they did not, in fact, die. Awkward.

Later, when Chuck goes to apologize to Lou, she tells him that she knows he works as an informant for the FDA. Chuck sadly tells Lou that the timing is bad. They’re donezo.

But hopefully Charah is back on. Chuck calls to ask Sarah out on a real date, but she’s a little busy finding out that BRYCE ISN’T DEAD. The timer on the package was counting down on an oxygen supply. Bryce is back.

Bryce is back!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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