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'Manhattan Love Story' recap: Ye olde Legolas

Season 1 | Episode 8 | “Love Is a Battlefield” | Aired Dec 28, 2014

It was only a matter of time before one of our Manhattan Love Story lovebirds shared a dirty little secret. Peter thinks he’s accompanying Dana to the countryside for a little recreational sex. Sadly, Dana confesses that there is something she has been keeping from him. Instead of telling Peter, she will show him. Peter assumes Dana is going to parade elementary-aged offspring from the bedroom and tries to compose himself for the reality of the situation. He’s dumbfounded when Dana parades herself out into the open, complete with flowing cape and pointy ears.

Dana: I’m a LARP.
Peter: I’m sorry? I mean, cool!
Dana: Do you want me to tell you what that is?
Peter: It would save me a fake trip to the bathroom to Wikipedia it on my phone.

According to Dana, LARPing is live-action role-playing, in which characters are created and acted out in random wooded areas. Dana has been playing the same character since college (cue a concerned look on Peter’s face) and has moved up through the years to Queen of the Lower Realm. Dana is thrilled when Peter accepts her complete dorkiness.

With Peter away on vacation, David is left to make the sale of the year with his former high school coach. Typically, Peter swoops in and seals the deal with his athletic nature and all-around charm. David once dropped one ball during a game, and Coach yelled at him in front of the entire school that instead of a uniform, David belonged in tights. David decides to conference Peter in when Coach arrives. Even via conference call, Peter will make a better impression.

Manhattan Love StoryBack in the shire, the Queen introduces her subjects to Peter. When Peter pokes fun at the group, Dana suggests he sit in the spectator section. Peter befriends a woman who passes the time with spiked hot chocolate. He learns that these battles can go on for days. Frustrated, he heads for higher ground, hoping to get cell phone services for the conference call.

He stumbles upon Dana, leaning over a “dead” body. Peter congratulates her for the kill, still holding his phone up for better service. A band of merry men wander into the meadow, concerned that one of the Queen’s friends has a phone. Clearly, modern conveniences are not allowed on the battlefield. The consequence? Jail. Peter’s phone is confiscated, and he and Dana are hauled off to be incarcerated by an elf wearing guyliner.

Meanwhile, Chloe announces to her father and David that Coach has arrived. In walks a no-nonsense woman in red (played by the amazing Caroline Rhea), sweeping the room for Peter.

Coach: What is this? The JV team?
David: If you mean Jenious Visionaries, then you are standing in front of them.
Coach: Jood one, David.

While Dana and Peter are in pretend jail, Dana tries to explain to Peter that this is more than a game. The Queen of the Lower Realm is part of who Dana is, and she loves playing her. A few guards take Dana away to be sentenced, leaving Peter with Guard in Women’s Yoga Pants. He tells Peter that Dana’s character will die and she will have to start all over again. Peter is devastated.

Manhattan Love StoryIn the real world, David becomes irritated that Coach won’t take him seriously. He begins reciting lyrics from the musical Wicked, and Coach positively responds when he suggests they defy gravity together. Coach commends his enthusiasm, tells him that she is loyal to Peter, and asks him to make the deal. Theater fans unite!

Peter is also gearing up to unite with his Queen. He fakes out Yoga Pants Guard, finds Dana in the woods, ready to be beheaded, and begins sword-fighting all the mid-level accountants in the tri-state area. Peter nerds out over his huge win, asks the Queen to knight him, then scoffs when she trades him for six men being held captive.

Nerd love is the best love.

Love Notes

David: Peter never dropped the ball and knew how to keep his emotions in check during the Star Spangled Banner.

Peter: I’ve seen tighter security at a McDonald’s ball pit.

Manhattan Love Story episodes are available on Hulu.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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