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Our top TV resolutions for 2015

This time of year, many people are making New Year’s resolutions pertaining to fitness or finance. But here at EW’s The Community, we are dedicating ourselves to making 2015 the best year ever for binging on the classics, avoiding spoilers, and creating new fan(atic)s of our favorite shows.

Now, the Community Contributors’ top resolutions of 2015:

Maggie Fremont, Community Contributor:

  • I will not compare my apartment to anything I see on Property Brothers. I will not compare my apartment to anything I see on Property Brothers. I will not compare my apartment to anything I see on Property Brothers. (But seriously, I need a backsplash in my kitchen.)
  • I will finally get around to watching The Sopranos from the beginning. It’s a big black hole in my TV knowledge, and it’s time I got in with Tony and the mob.
  • I promise not to seek out Game of Thrones spoilers. I just can’t help it if my web browser happens to open up the A Song of Ice and Fire wiki page, and I happen to scroll down and see what fate befalls my ride-or-die boo, Arya Stark.

 

Sam Bertschmann, Community Contributor: To finally finish The Sopranos, which is essential to a proper TV education.

Gabrielle Bondi, Community Contributor:

  • I will finally finish binge-watching Gilmore Girls.
  • I will not watch each new Outlander episode three times. I will use that time for Gilmore Girls.
  • I will not start a new series until I finish Gilmore Girls.

 

Tamar Barbash, Community Contributor: Watch Breaking Bad. I’m really embarrassed to admit this one. I somehow missed the boat when the show first started, and it’s felt so overwhelming to catch up, so I keep putting it off. But no more. 2015 is our year, Walter White.

Mike Source, Community Contributor: My TV resolution is to give up on shows more easily. If I won’t miss it, then it’s time to drop it. (I’ve been trying to quit New Girl and American Horror Story for a while now.)

Michelle Newman, Community Featured Contributor:

  • Try not to ridicule the ladies on The Bachelor too much in my blog recaps. Oh, who am I kidding? That’s the most fun part of watching.
  • Allow myself only two boxes of Kleenex, one bottle of wine, and three days of brooding after the Parenthood series finale on January 29. Fine, maybe two bottles of wine.
  • Either watch all those backlogged episodes of this season’s Homeland on my DVR … or just admit the show went downhill fast, accept it, and delete them all.
  • Finally watch Breaking Bad (even though I know how it ends) so people will stop giving me that look when I tell them I haven’t … and because I hate feeling like I’ve been left out of the Cool TV Club for the past several years. What can I say? I easily cave to peer pressure when it has to do with good television.

 

Deborah Khuanghlawn, Community Contributor: I will at some point in 2015 watch Firefly.

Monique Jones, Community Contributor: My TV resolution is to not mentally curse Katrina Crane from Sleepy Hollow every time she does something stupid. One of my biggest complaints is that Katrina is not the witch she’s been talked up to be. She falls and is instantly rendered unconscious, and she’s hidden beaucoup secrets from Ichabod and Abbie—pertinent secrets that would help them SAVE THE WORLD. Plus, she’s now a two-timer, since she really showed how she feels about Abraham when she thought Ichabod had left the room. If we’re supposed to like her, this is a rough way of going about it. I don’t think this resolution will be kept any time soon …

Sam Swank, Community Contributor:

  • Convince more people to watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Everyone gave up early in the first season, and it’s gotten SO GOOD (after Captain America 2, and especially in season 2). And,they’re introducing completely new concepts into the Marvel Universe, and it’s amazing and important.
  • Help get Tatiana Maslany an Emmy nomination. I don’t know what I have to do, but I will do it.

 

Benjamin Wood, Community Contributor: I resolve to do 15 push-ups for every 30 minutes of television I watch. Ok, maybe 10 for every hour.

Geek Girl Diva, Community Contributor: Finally watch The Clone Wars.

Lauren Gallaway, Community Contributor: Binge all of Friday Night Lights (while following along with the nostalgia recaps), and binge all of Star Trek Deep Space 9.

Bill Tucker, Community Contributor: My TV resolution is to fill in the shameful blanks in my watching career: the shows I’m so embarrassed I missed that I hide them from my closest friends. I’m looking at you, Six Feet Under, The Wire, and everything but the first season of Breaking Bad. My second goal is to preach the sociological brilliance of Married with Children to the younger generation.

Joanna Skrabala, Community Contributor: I will finally watch Veronica Mars (per my husband’s demands). I will then make my husband watch Game of Thrones. That sounds a bit backward, yeah?

Morissa Schwartz, Community Contributor: My TV resolution is to finally watch those shows I have sitting on my DVR. To be sure I follow through, I will not watch another single 30 Rock rerun until I take the time to watch the episodes of Boardwalk Empire and Parenthood that I have been procrastinating on way too long.

Wendy Hathaway, Community Contributor:

  • I will keep my DVR at or below 90 percent capacity.
  • I will not mentally compare Rainn Wilson’s new character on Backstrom to Dwight Schrute.
  • I will allow myself to cry like a baby for a maximum of one hour after the Parks and Recreation finale.

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TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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