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'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' recap: Child care

Season 2 | Episode 12 | “Bad Eggs” | Aired Jan 12, 1998 on The WB

In this episode, Buffy and the Scooby Gang learn how hard it is to be parents, and about the consequences of sex (foreshadowing!) when the eggs they’re assigned to care for hatch into soul-sucking monsters. This is one of the best metaphors for parenting teenagers in television history.

Buffy and Joyce are bonding at the mall when Buffy spots a cowboy vampire with a human girl. She finds them in the arcade and rescues the girl, but the vampire, and his 10-gallon hat, get away.

Buffy makes her way back to the food court without the clothes Joyce asked her to pick up, and Joyce chides her for being irresponsible and too focused on boys and clothes. In moments like these—especially when Buffy comes right out and says she has a duty to slay vampires, but Joyce blows right past the comment—you want to shake Joyce by the shoulders. Thankfully, she’ll learn the truth soon, and their relationship will finally evolve and deepen.

Xander and Cordelia, though repulsed by each other, make out in the closet. Cut to sex ed, where Mr. Whitmore asks the students to name negative consequences of sexual activity, and they fight to outdo each other with insults. (Bad breath. Bad technique. Having to feign interest in vapid chitchat.) Willow, of course, comes up with the correct answer: unwanted pregnancy.

In what now seems like a sitcom cliché (do schools really assign this anymore?), the students will pair up and care for an egg to learn about parenting. Besides the egg project hinting at themes in the next few BtVS episodes, this exchange is also one of the first references to Willow being Jewish.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2, Episode 12 - Lyle and Tector Gorch in the cemeteryBuffy skipped class to help Giles with research, so she’ll be a single egg-mom, which she hates because she doesn’t want to end up just like Joyce.

Who is the bloodsucking buckaroo? Lyle Gorch, and he and his brother, Tector, are a couple of mean ol’ vamps from way down Texas way. Giles suggests Buffy take Angel along for the hunt for safety.

The Gorch brothers look on as Buffy and Angel make out in the cemetery, but decide to fight her another day, when she’s alone. Instead, they hunker down in the sewers, and Tector, who wants out of this two-horse town, baits Lyle, saying he’s afraid.

Buffy tucks in Eggbert the Egg for the night. While she sleeps, the egg cracks and tentacles slither out and wrap around her face.

She wakes up exhausted, and the egg is back in one piece. Willow is drained, too, but Xander is fresh as a daisy. He admits he cheated by boiling his egg, which also means it didn’t get friendly overnight. “I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression,” Giles says.

“I resent that!” Xander replies. “Or, possibly, thank you.”

Cordelia joins them in the library. She’s worried the missing Mr. Whitmore, might be, er, dead in a closet somewhere, and prods Xander to help her look for him (or hook up). Willow seems suspicious, but Buffy thinks they’re a normal level of weird.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2, Episode 12 - Buffy and AngelBack at the cemetery, in between smooches, Buffy tells Angel about her school project. He informs her he’s unable to make little baby vampires, and, worried that she wants children someday, asks whether she thinks about the future. She’s surprised, but tells him he’s the only thing she sees in her future.

At the same time, Mr. Whitmore knocks out a night guard investigating the basement in Sunnydale High, and shoves him through a hole in the wall.

Buffy arrives home late after slaying duty and watches in horror as her egg cracks open and a small squid-like creature bursts out. It scurries away, but she finds it and stabs it with a pair of scissors. Wigged, she calls Willow, who’s fine, having stashed her egg in the fridge … or so she says. After she hangs up, we see her egg has cracked open, too, and something’s clearly wrong.

Joyce catches Buffy awake and fully dressed, and grounds her.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2, Episode 12 - Bezoar eggsAt school, Buffy asks around, but everyone else seems fine … except Willow, who’s got something creepy stuck to her spine. And Xander, who almost accidentally eats his little squid. And Cordelia, whose hatchling crawls out of her backpack.

Willow and Cordy, under the control of the creatures, knock out Buffy and Xander and stash them in a closet. Along with other students and a few teachers, they gather up tools and head to the hole in the basement.

Joyce is pissed to find Buffy is not at the library. Giles, also possessed, sics a squid on Joyce, and they join the others in the basement.

Buffy and Xander break out and find a book about Bezoar, a prehistoric parasite that lives underground, laying eggs that hatch and attach to a host.

They hear Jonathan calling for help in the hallway, and follow him into Bezoar’s lair. Buffy leaves to find a weapon—but, bad timing, runs into the Gorch brothers. She and Lyle fight each other, and together, they fight off the Bezoar’s minions.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2, Episode 12 - Buffy and Angel kissThe Bezoar mother swallows Tector alive, and tries to eat Buffy too. But Buffy hacks her to death with a pickax, and the pod people faint. She crawls out, covered in black goo, and Lyle runs away.

Evidently, no one remembers what happened, so Giles convinces everyone it was a gas leak. Joyce scolds Buffy for not being at the library on time. Buffy just saved the entire town—again—but has to keep her secret, so she accepts her punishment all the same. She skirts the rules by making out with Angel through her bedroom window.

Big Bad of the Week: The Gorch brothers are more comic relief than true threat, taking a backseat to the mind-controlling Bezoar hatchlings.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2, Episode 12 - Buffy and Willow in the libraryQuote of the Week: “You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy … is like a day without sunshine.” —Buffy

Heinous ’90s Fashion of the Week: Cordelia’s teddy-bear backpack; Buffy’s purple spaghetti-strap floor-length slip dress, purple tights, and chunky-heeled Mary Janes.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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