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'General Hospital' recap: Defining futility

Season 51 | Episodes 179–182 | Aired Dec 15-18, 2014

Only on General Hospital can you question the logic of someone inviting an amnesiac stranger into your home and be told you are overreacting. While Sam becomes more and more convinced that Jakeson is responsible for busting Faison out of jail, Elizabeth digs in her heels for his defense. Granted, Sam’s only evidence is a gut feeling and a commonly used phrase, but Elizabeth is having none of it.

The former-and-once-again adversaries even find themselves rehashing old misdeeds. Yes, Sam snaps at Elizabeth for having withheld the truth about Danny’s parentage. And Elizabeth has a surefire comeback in the fact that Sam stood by and watched as Jake was kidnapped. Both are apologetic for their past misdeeds, but Sam really wants to focus on her suspicions of Jakeson. How can Elizabeth be so certain of his innocence? Sam thinks Elizabeth might be developing feelings for him, but Elizabeth brushes off such talk by threatening to sue Sam for harassment. It’d be a good guess that there will be no cookie exchange between these two for Christmas.

Oddly enough, Sam isn’t the only one suspicious of Jakeson. Turns out, despite joking that Sam should check his sock drawer for gunpowder residue, he has his own doubts as to the validity of his own memories. Helena’s brainwashing tactics apparently have some holes, as Jakeson flashes back to grabbing Sam at the PCPD. He visits Patrick at the hospital, wondering if he could be having memory lapses, and Patrick suggests Jakeson visit a therapist for some hypnotherapy. Patrick also suggests, based on Jakeson’s fit physique, that perhaps his past involves working for the organized crime that runs rampant in Port Charles. Hey, Patrick, he also could have been a personal trainer, male model, or UPS delivery man!

Patrick takes time to fill Sabrina in on Victor’s involvement in Gabriel’s death. A contrite Sabrina apologizes to Ava, who quickly forgives the nurse and accepts culpability for letting Carlos believe she was behind the crash. Patrick makes his way to Sam, with another apology over the Jason mess. Sam seems very close to forgiving him. Might the two rekindle their burgeoning relationship just in time for Jakeson to realize his true identity?

Spencer is still miffed at Nikolas over Britt’s departure. Nikolas reminds him that Britt did a very bad thing and must be punished accordingly. Spencer loftily informs him that Britt has left town; he wanted to go with, but his great-grandmother sent him home. Nikolas warns Spencer to stay far away from Helena, but that will prove difficult as Helena instantly emerges from Wyndemere’s tunnels. Nikolas wants her gone, but Helena swears she’s not psychotic like his grandfather (Mikos) or father (Stavros). Nikolas is undeterred. Helena has one last card to play, telling Prince Nikolas Mikhail Stavrosovich Cassadine that she has secret control of the Cassadine estate and can make his home, money, and lifestyle quickly disappear.

Ava and Nina find themselves staring each other down from jail cells. Nina still holds delusions that she will be a family with Jamie and Franco, even mocking Ava for not knowing the name she gave Ava’s baby. Franco asks the guard for a bathroom break, as apparently the PCPD holding cells do not have toilets (who knew?). He finds Nina emotionally broken but is in no position to help her. Franco reminds her that they are friends, but Nina feels that prison sentences will put an end to that. Luckily for Nina, Nathan asks Alexis to represent his fragile sister. Nina tells Alexis she will only agree if Franco gets representation too.

Baby Jamie is safe at the hospital with her brother/father Morgan, who asks for a paternity test. But technically, Morgan has no right to ask, as Ava is the only identified parent at the time. Kiki, the baby’s definite sister, okays the test, but testing Morgan’s DNA will take time due to the dual relationship possibilities. Silas suggests Carly, as she matches Morgan’s DNA, but not Sonny’s. Therefore, if Jamie matches Carly, Morgan is definitely the father.

Morgan, Kiki, and Carly take the baby to the Brownstone. Michael shows up, mocks the cozy family, and promptly evicts his two tenants as the renovations are now complete. Morgan pleads with his brother not to be a jackass since there is a baby involved, but Michael holds his ground, pointing out they are jobless, not homeless. There are any number of places they can go. Isn’t Sonny’s house pretty empty about now?

Silas pays Ava a jailhouse visit to let her know that Kiki and Morgan have the baby. Ava is not pleased with the temporary guardians; Morgan has read baby books, but hasn’t proven his fatherly instincts. Silas lets her know that Carly is helping, and Ava concedes that while Carly may be a hateful bitch, she has raised three children. Ummm …. Ava might want to think about what those kids have been through before she considers that a selling point.

At Pentonville, Sonny also asserts that Morgan has never had a pet, let alone a baby. But there’s more on his mind, as Johnny has given him proof of Ric being alive and holding him in exchange for control of Corinthos territory. Sonny gives Shawn the go-ahead to make the deal, as he doesn’t want Ric’s death on his conscience. Awww … so cute that Sonny thinks he has a conscience!

Julian finds himself making bond by way of Carlos, who is working with Johnny. Julian would rather make amends with Alexis than forge another mob alliance, but Alexis continues to tell him that their relationship is not an option, so Julian joins the alliance and is greeted by the (unseen to viewers) sight of Ric Lansing bound and gagged in the trunk of car. Julian is fearful that Johnny’s vendetta against Sonny will be the Jerome family’s undoing, but it doesn’t sway him to change his decision.

Julian and Carlos meet up with Duke and Shawn at the Metro Court, clearly the best place to make mob deals. Duke promises to do what has to be done for Ric’s safe return, but Julian doesn’t get a pinky swear or read between the lines. Duke has no intention of buckling to his lifelong nemesis, so it seems a mob war is a-brewing in Port Charles. Jordan, off the FBI clock, is convinced by Anna to maintain her Jerome cover, but will Julian fill her in on the happenings?

Maxie has her day in court, but the judge is aware of her Nathan interactions. The judge, still Monica’s boyfriend, denies her visitation and sets a new hearing for six months. Maxie is devastated, but Nathan vows to bring her and Georgie together for Christmas.

After taking potshots at Alexis over breakfast foods, Olivia opts to come clean to Ned about her feelings for him. Despite Olivia being the smarter choice, since she isn’t hung up on an ex-boyfriend, Ned says he has to give things with Alexis a chance. Olivia, who doesn’t like the jealous side of her own personality, decides that she and Ned best not interact for the time being.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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