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'Covert Affairs' recap: Checking for trackers

Season 5 | Episode 15 | “Frontwards” | Aired Dec 11, 2014

The official Covert Affairs hashtag (#GetJamesFirst) made my butt clench when I first read it. Is someone going to die because of James? Even more concerning, Auggie and McQuaid are both on this mission with Annie. If the writers save James instead of a primary character, I’m going to be one angry viewer. ANNIE HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH! LET HER HAVE A LOVE STORY!

Let’s start at the beginning. Auggie knows that James is in Buenos Aires. They find his apartment ransacked and soon learn that James is in jail. Auggie goes to see James to tell him there’s a pretty, red target on his back. But don’t worry: The CIA is going to get him out of there.

It’s going to take Joan a while to extract James from an Argentinian prison. They will need a place to lie low. Naturally, McQuaid has a safe house. He probably has a passport guy and a gun man too, but that’s neither here nor there.

Screen shot 2014-12-11 at 8.38.45 PMIn other news, Sydney is still unconscious after her gunshot wound from the Dog Walker. Calder pays a visit to the Russian dude Sydney was boinking. He punches him and threatens to break his arm. The Russian blames Belenko. Calder heads back to work and finds Joan sitting in his office. The Russians called her wondering why the DCS sucker punched one of their guys. Calder says he’s under control. Joan rolls her eyes and promises to smooth things over.

Back in Argentina, McQuaid leads the way to his safe house. Using his covert skills, he notices several shifty people in the vicinity. The trio keep walking and the men follow. Luckily, they are able to ditch them in a sea of couples dancing the tango in the middle of a quad. Argentina is so cool.

They get back in their car and the men follow. Annie assumes someone has a tracker. This is not good. She and Auggie manage to get out without anyone noticing as McQuaid takes pictures so they know whom they are dealing with.

Auggie and Annie head to a monastery. Annie walks into a sanctuary, full of soft lighting, and tells Auggie to take his shirt off, which is what I’ve been saying since the last episode. She investigates every inch of his abs “looking for trackers” just as McQuaid walks in. He followed the bad guys to this location!

Auggie suddenly realizes that his eyes have been hurting, but he never thought to check his contacts. Bingo. The trackers were in his eyeballs! Ouch. This discovery forces him to put his shirt back on, which was highly annoying. Moreover, he realizes that Belenko knew Auggie would lead him straight to James. Auggie is frustrated that they don’t have time to wait on the CIA.

McQuaid: We’ll just have to bust him out.

Covert Affairs: s5, ep 1 Nic BishopHe so manly. I may have swooned.

Joan takes a few vodka shots with the Russian embassy guy. She wonders why she didn’t have to beg him not to press charges against Calder. In fact, the FSB wants to help bring Belenko down. Why would they want Belenko dead? She makes a call to Annie who is currently concocting a plan with the guys at McQuaid’s other safe house. (It’s always good to have a spare.) If Annie runs into Belenko, Joan wants her to bring him in alive.

Auggie decides the best way to get out of the jail is to go through the drainage system. McQuaid decides the best way to get in is to get arrested. Auggie gives him a code to tell James once he gets in so he’ll know McQuaid is cool.

McQuaid manages to get thrown in jail. He’s about to say the code word when James attacks him, thinking McQuaid is a hit man. Through punches and grunts, McQuaid manages to shout the code. Both men are hauled to the infirmary. Auggie hacks into the prison intercom system, overhears guards talking about the fight and sends Annie to the barrio next to the jail. She is on the other side of the drain pipe. It feels very Shawshank.

McQuaid and James are handcuffed to their beds. McQuaid says he needs to go to the bathroom and is unlocked from his cuffs. All hell breaks loose. Knees connect with noses. Heads bang into walls. Security guards drop left and right.

Annie notices a car pulling up to the jail. You guessed it. Belenko gets out just as the alarm sounds. Cops run to their vehicles. Belenko hops back in his car. Annie looks like she wants to ditch the guys for Belenko, but McQuaid’s hand pops out of the drain. They run to the car and rendezvous with Auggie. James and his friend speed off to the airport where Joan has a helicopter waiting. Don’t worry about Annie and McQuaid. I’m sure he has a spare chopper in Argentina.

Annie gives McQuaid a look.

McQuaid: You want to go back and get Belenko.
Annie: Only if you agree. We make this decision together.
McQuaid: I’m in. Let’s do this.
Annie: I love you.
McQuaid: I love you too.
Lincee: Great. He’s probably about to die.

Annie leaves the car out on the street for the bad guys to find. When the leader sends his boys to check the neighborhood, McQuaid attacks Belenko and Annie attacks the one guard (Really? One guard?) with vicious kicks and karate chops. McQuaid shoves Belenko in the car, and Annie drives like a maniac through barricades. They take to the streets with Belenko smirking the entire time as the bad guys hunt them.

Covert Affairs 2McQuaid turns a corner and finds a row of men lying face down. Executed.

Belenko: That’s a message. The Russians want me dead.

The Russians are going to have to get in line. The list to kill Belenko is long. Do you think it will happen on the finale? Will McAnnie make it?

Covert Affairs airs Tuesdays at 10/9C on USA Network.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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