EW Community TV Show Episode Guides and Recaps from EW's Community

'Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce' recap: Divorce is not for sissies

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Rule #174: Don’t Trust Anyone Who Charges by the Hour” | Aired Dec 9, 2014

Divorce is hell, remember? That’s what we learned in last week’s premiere of Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce: Abby has an emotional breakdown at a book signing following a confrontation with Jake, Lyla’s ex gets a DUI for which she set him up, and Phoebe trades sex for money.

This week, Abby feels the fallout from her comments last week. Her audience is supposedly a bunch of married moms, so they should understand her feelings, but they aren’t as forgiving as you would think. Even Kathy Lee doesn’t take her side, and Abby feels like she is watching her career’s funeral.

Abby knows she needs to do some damage control and goes to see her longtime editor. Conveniently (but not for Abby), her editor is out and she instead sees a very young, extremely unsympathetic stand-in who essentially tells her that her book franchise is dead. The new editor suggests Abby go to rehab, if only to make it seem like she is trying to get it together. Abby is feeling the kiss of death already.

Abby goes from the meeting at her editor’s to apartment hunting with Jake. The apartment they see is a little dumpy, and Jake suggests they get the more expensive one (to the tune of $4,500 a month). It’s like he wants me to hate him. While they are discussing their options, Abby gets a text from Nate, her emotional-email mistress. I don’t know if it’s because she feels guilty or she is just a pathological pleaser, but she seems far too accommodating to Jake and his demands about an apartment.

Lyla agrees with me and suggests doing things to Jake’s “scrotal sack” until he comes around (we don’t, however, agree on that matter). Meanwhile, Jake is spending time with the CW actress, Becca Riley, and I feel like I need a shower after watching their sex scene. Becca wants to talk about all sorts of relationship things, but Jake is hesitant (thank God). Becca is far too chummy this early in the divorce proceedings. Slow down, Speed Racer.

Phoebe, at least, has a little foresight and secures the ladies an invite to “doom face” Ellen’s baby shower. Over wine and cheese, the ladies discuss Abby’s need for a lawyer. Phoebe recommends her lawyer, Delia, but Lyla gets huffy about this particular suggestion, accusing this Delia of being a liar and a cheat. I thought that went with the gig. She leaves in a huff but doesn’t get far, because Dan has her car impounded in Compton. There is so much talk about who has the bigger “sack” and the possession of “balls,” and we’re supposed to get a sense that the men are feeling emasculated, but it’s hard to pick a side.

Jake is still in tight with Abby’s brother, which is annoying in itself, but seeing them so buddy-buddy at the Little League game is infuriating. His unyielding support for Jake is too much, and I don’t like which side he’s chosen. Abby, on the other hand, forgives Max and meets him for a training/lecture session. She is only mildly more assertive with him this go around, but Phoebe’s call breaks the tension and gives them a common interest: Abby’s possible turn into lesbianism. It’s really just a setup so Abby can meet the new lawyer, Delia, a super-slick man-eater who comes off a little greasy.

Abby is trying to make everybody happy, but when she runs into her email lover, Nate, at school, she tries to end it diplomatically. In a bout of terrible timing, Jake walks by just when Abby has a two-foot smile on her face. By the way, Nate is married too, and I am still deciding how to feel about that.

Phoebe is still giving it up to her ex, but when she tries to talk to him in the moments after sex, he presents her with a diamond bracelet. It makes her seem cheap, and it’s not a good look. She can recognize her own desperation, and this marks a turning point for her.

Jake and Abby wind up in mediation, and when details start to get in the way the session derails into an argument. Since they are still living together, Jake comes home to an apology from Abby, but it becomes clear this is the beginning of the end. Jake is no longer wearing his ring and refuses to hear the explanation about Nate. As a pathological pleaser, Abby agrees to sleep on the couch for the night. Lyla sees this as a sign of feeling guilt—a cardinal sin in the divorce world.

All three ladies go to the baby shower, where Jake’s girlfriend, Becca, approaches Abby and drops the bomb about Jake signing a lease on a new apartment. Abby is understandably rattled by the encounter, since the end is so obviously near now. Something good comes from the shower, at least: Phoebe has a brainstorm to start a baby jewelry business, and she is officially not as desperate as I thought.

Lyla, as well, is all about business, and has Dan’s credit cards canceled. The cards were all declined at a restaurant, and Dan is embarrassed that he couldn’t pay for their kids’ dinner. Her plan backfired, and now Dan is filing for full custody. Janeane Garofalo is leaving the show, so I’m interested to see how this plays out.

Following Becca’s bombshell, Abby goes directly home and packs up Jake’s things. When Jake comes home, of course a fight ensues, and there are a lot of accusations and yelling. He and Abby are simultaneously calling attorneys, and it’s the saddest moment of the show. Anytime the kids are on screen, it is heartbreaking. The sad music and heartstring-tugging Shabbat scene don’t help matters much.

What do you make of Abby with the married guy? How do you think the Lyla-Dan storyline will play out? Do we have thoughts about Phoebe sleeping with her ex?

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce airs Tuesdays at 10/9C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

You May Like