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'Switched at Birth' Christmas special: What if there was no switch?

Season 3 | Episode 22 | “Yuletide Fortune Tellers” | Aired Dec 8, 2014

What if Bay Kennish and Daphne Vasquez were never switched at birth? That’s the question posed in Switched at Birth‘s Christmas special, which thrusts the girls into an alternate reality where everyone’s lives are drastically different from the ones they’ve come to know, because there never was a switch. Christmas chaos rains down on the two families, and it’s absolutely delightful!

Just days before Christmas Eve, the Kennish and Vasquez clans gather ’round to have a nice family dinner at Sal’s, their favorite local Italian restaurant. Everyone begins discussing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day plans, and Kathryn lays out what that looks like at her house: Early Christmas Eve dinner, Kennish karaoke, John’s reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, etc.—you know, standard-issue perfect-family movie-worthy shenanigans. But Regina’s not really having it. She prefers her usual Christmas plans with Daphne: Wake up late, open presents, sneak Chinese food into a movie theater for a yuletide flick—you know, the exact opposite of what Kathryn’s proposing. When Regina and Daphne disagree and things get tense, Bay and Daphne take a time out from the family turmoil to reflect on how much easier life would be had the switch never happened. And with one of Sal’s famous garlic knots in hand, Bay utters these fateful words: “Life would be a lot easier if we’d never been switched.”

BOOM. FREAKY FRIDAY CHRISTMAS BODY SWITCH!

The next morning, things are … different. First of all, Bay wakes up at Regina’s, and she is deaf. Conversely, Daphne wakes up at the Kennish house, and she is suddenly hearing. What the what?!

The girls realize that they’ve switched places when the rest of their new worlds begin presenting themselves: Regina and Angelo had a kid, Angelo Jr., so Bay has a brother. She’s still an amazing artist, Regina owns her own hair salon, and worst of all, she’s still an alcoholic.

Back at the Kennishes’ place, Daphne finds that Kathryn is a cosmetics mogul whose lost almost all her sensitivity and warm-heartedness, John is a jerky stay-at-home soccer dad poised to get Daphne onto the U.S. Olympic soccer team, and Toby is an emo goth musician misunderstood by his parents. I repeat: TOBY IS AN EMO GOTH MUSICIAN. His eye makeup and haircut and beanie prove it. It’s the most glorious thing.

Suffice to say, things are WEIRD.

When Daphne goes back to her childhood home, she and Bay discuss the strangeness that’s befallen them. What is it like for Daphne to hear? What is it like for Bay to be deaf? But when Daphne points out the obvious question of why Bay and Regina wouldn’t be in the guest house, the girls realize it’s not just that they switched places, but that the switch itself never happened. Thus the blended family circumstances from their real lives do not exist. Talk about heavy.

The girls rush back to Sal’s upon coming to the conclusion that all of this happened as a result of their It’s a Wonderful Life-inspired musings over one of Sal’s “magic” garlic knots. But a wise Sal dressed like Santa tries to inform them that the “knot’s NOT your problem.” Daphne and Bay concede that while the garlic knot alone might not get everyone’s lives back to normal, getting the two families together to recreate a special moment might do the trick.

So Daphne convinces Kathryn to have the Sorrento clan over to the house under the guise of adopting a needy family, and Bay convinces Regina that her new friend Daphne invited all of them over to get to know each other.

But when you combine Kathryn’s alternate reality seriousness, John’s bad attitude, and Regina’s embarrassing alcoholism all in the same room, things are bound to get hairy. The girls panic, and when they rip apart their freshly made garlic knot and utter “I wish we’d been switched at birth!” in front of everyone to try to reverse the curse, nothing happens. (Except for the horrified looks on everyone’s faces. That was priceless.)

The next morning, Bay and Daphne each make one last attempt to realign the planets and get everything back to normal. Daphne visits Regina with words of encouragement, and the two decide to get their movie and Chinese on. Meanwhile, Bay visits Kathryn with ingredients to make peanut brittle (an old Kennish tradition), and the two get to cooking. These special moments between mother and daughter are the magic needed to reverse the Freaky Friday switch, and everyone wakes up on Christmas morning nice and cozy in their respectively correct environments. Daphne is Daphne Vasquez, Regina’s daughter and proudly deaf; Bay is Bay Kennish, hearing and wholeheartedly endeared to her mother’s Christmas traditions.

With everything back to normal, the Kennish and Vasquez families have the joint Christmas that was always meant to be, complete with Christmas carols, loads of presents, Chinese food, and priceless moments between loved ones.

Oh, and by the way, there were some other peculiar alternate universe differences:

  • Daphne was named Bay. Bay was named Daphne.

  • Regina was a full-blown alcoholic, never having sobered up.

  • Regina was Regina Sorrento, having stayed married to Angelo and having a son, Angelo Jr.

  • Toby was super emo and goth, and he and John had a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship. Also, Toby called himself Tobias, so there’s that.

  • Emmett and Bay were only ever JUST FRIENDS. (Sob.)

  • Daphne was a soccer superstar on the brink of trying out for the U.S. Olympic team.

  • Kathryn was a famous cosmetics mogul, and she and John fight. A lot.

  • Really nice touch when Bay and Daphne wake up in the alternate reality and Daphne’s world is colored with the hum of everyday noise, and Bay’s world is dead silent. That was beautiful.

  • Daphne: I had no idea refrigerators made noise!

  • But this was the one that kind of broke my heart: “And Kathryn’s voice! Ah!”

  • Major LOL when Daphne references a “conscious uncoupling.”

  • Sad realization that one aspect of the alternate reality stayed the same: Angelo was still dead.

Switched at Birth, rated TV-14, airs Mondays at 8/7C on ABC Family.

Get more of Brandi’s take on all things entertainment over at ReelSnarky.com!

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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