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Ain't no party like a 'House of DVF' party

Season 1 | Episode 6 | “What Happens In the Hamptons”| Aired Dec 7, 2014

Goodbye Abigail, goodbye Jinna, hello Hamptons. This week, House of DVF takes on the posh summer getaway destination, but even there they just can’t get their crap together.

Diane von Furstenberg is probably the most optimistic person in the world. Even after all the dumb stuff these girls have done to embarrass themselves, Diane still thinks she should send them to the Hamptons to help Jessica style socialites and celebrities at the Hamptons Classic.

Amanda leads the girls on a Hamptons adventure with House of DVF Jessica elects Amanda as the chairperson of the little group, and Amanda mobilizes the girls pretty quickly. On the ride to Diane’s Hamptons house, the girls get lost. This sets the whole weekend behind, and Jessica arrives at the fitting before they do. They are an hour behind schedule, and when Jessica calls, she’s terribly pissy. She wants them to arrive dressed in DVF, which forces them to pull to the side of the road to change, which, in turn, causes the clients to wait even longer.

When the girls finally arrive, they begin running around in circles like little cartoon stylists, and Jessica becomes more and more agitated. Once they get somewhat organized, Kier goes straight for the super model, Jessica White. Brittany can’t stand anyone else getting the spotlight, and mixes in. That leads to the unfortunate instance of Kier saying, “She needs to check herself before she wrecks herself,” and I feel sad that Kier thinks that is still a thing.

HereLenore takes this opportunity to transcend her Staten Island roots, even though Jessica is mercilessly teasing her. Jessica comes after Brittany pretty hard, as well, accusing her model of looking like a “quadruple divorcee that drinks chardonnay at 3 in the afternoon.” Brittany doesn’t take the teasing as well as Lenore, and complains that Jessica isn’t giving her enough credit. Brittany acts like she and the girls haven’t screwed up every assignment given thus far, and is just a little too smug for me to root for her anymore.

More and more VIPs trickle in to the house and Lenore begins to feel the pressure. The whole scene is a giant mess: the wracks are jumbled and untidy, two clients are wearing the same outfits, and Kier and Brittany leave clients to fend for themselves while they argue on the deck. Jessica spends the entire afternoon rubbing her forehead and wringing her hands, biding her time.

Later arrives and Jessica lines them up and gives them the business. Most of them are appropriately contrite, except Brittany, who scoffs at Jessica’s scolding. She acts far too snotty for her own good, and Jessica’s head explodes. The other girls love it because it distracts from their poor choices and puts Brittany directly on DVF’s radar.

Both executives discuss all the mistakes the House of DVF girls makeLater, at the Hamptons’ Classic, the girls’ clients arrive and both Jessica and Stefani are happy with the final result. The clients offer a little advice, and conveniently enough, it’s to “Stay nice.” Everyone in the circle is giving Brittany the side eye, almost as to say, “This is for you, kiddo.” Jessica White, the model, even pulls her aside to give her further advice about not being an asshole, but she didn’t really get the takeaway. She thinks Jessica White was relating to her, but really she was telling her to stop being a jerk.

The girls run along to have fun, but Jessica gets called into a private meeting with the other Jessica and Stefani. Brittany apologizes, but it’s not quite enough to smooth over the previous day’s incident. She cries and excuses herself, but winds up returning to take it like a lady.

Kier with her The girls return to the DVF Hampton house to get ready for their party. Brittany isn’t into it, but Amanda and Kier are raring to go. It starts out civilized enough, but it quickly turns unruly. Kier tries to accuse Amanda of returning to her frat party roots, but Amanda calls her out in her “Baywatch bathing suit with a handle of tequila.” Kier isn’t turning down shots, if you know what I mean.

With so many folks at the house, there is bound to be some social media evidence, and while folks are snapping pics for Instagram, one of the clients jumps in the pool with a DVF sample dress. This is, apparently, a huge, terrible deal, and the girls sober up pretty quickly when they realize what a terrible turn the party has taken.

Of course, the pictures make it back to DVF, and she is shocked and mortified. Jessica and Stefani see the pictures on social media as well and they are upset too. Once they all get together to compare notes about how awful the girls performed, DVF becomes more and more disdainful of the whole situation. She is fed up, and she wants the girls to answer for their actions.

The girls get their scolding of the week, only this time it

Even though we don’t get to see Brittany get her DVF swag bag, I think we can all assume she’s the next to go. Am I right? What do y’all think about the Hamptons’ party? Is Jessica overreacting?

House of DVF airs Sundays at 10 /9C on E!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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